In my blog, "How to Quit Cutting for Good", I talked about 3 alternative coping strategies for self-harm: Talk it out, wake up to your actual feelings, and seek God.
Once you decide you're committed to stop cutting, you will find out what a struggle it is to go sober and stay free from this horrible addiction. Even as you are beginning to recover, you still will feel the cravings to cut again. You are going to need to be prepared to know how to deal with those powerful urges. Here are some practical ideas to help you or someone you know be set free.
Stop feeding the cutting monster - wait it out
Every urge you have to cut will go away in time, but only if you don't act on it. Each time you act on your urge to cut, you're making that urge stronger kind of like feeding a monster. Each time you feed the addiction, the more likely you will feel the urge to cut the next time you feel the same emotional pressure. The more you stand against the urge, without giving in, the more your urges will decrease.
Distract yourself from the desire to cut
One of the best ways to stop cutting is by distracting yourself with someone or something else. This will allow the moment to pass when you're feeling the deep cravings to cut and get your mind off of it. It's impossible for your mind to think about two things at the exact same time. Here are some ideas on how to do this.
- Call a friend or meet them in person. Talk about what's comfortable for you. The key is to keep talking.
- Take a shower. This will help invigorate your body so physically it too is distracted. (Make sure there are no razors in the shower).
- Exercise Walk, run, ride your bike, climb, swim, do yoga, etc. While you are exercising, your mind is more likely to think about something other than cutting.
- Play with a pet. Take your dog for a walk.
- Watch television or a non-violent, healthy movie.
- Make yourself a sandwich, drink a glass of water or a cup of hot chocolate.
- Listen to positive music. It will definitely help to change your mood.
- Write in your journal. Learn to express your feelings through writing.
- Create art or some kind of creative hobby.
- Volunteer somewhere like a nursing home, or a hospital. In fact, getting a job will help as well. Some people cut out of sheer boredom.
Natalia put it this way: I still fight the urges, but the way I deal with it is by writing in my journal or talking to my best friend and boyfriend who are currently helping me through this.
The point is: Find something else to do. If none of these ideas are possible at the moment, try finding a substitute for the cutting sensation.
- Rub an ice cube on your skin, instead of cutting.
- Wear a rubber band on your wrist and snap it when you feel the urge.
- Draw on your skin with a red marker or food coloring in the place you would normally cut.
- Put temporary tattoos in the places you have the urge to cut.
Angel said rubber bands have helped her. I've learned that snapping them against your wrist takes away a little bit of the amount to want to cut yourself. Ali said the key for her was she needed something physical to feel like she was still alive, that she was OK. So, I mark a little pink heart on my calendar for every day I don't cut...and believe it or not it helps. Help is possible and stopping is realistic.
Tell your story
The biggest problem with a cutting addiction is it forces you to focus on how YOU are feeling. Stop thinking about yourself so much and focus on other cutters who need your help. The more you can reach out to others, encouraging them to find better ways to express their feelings, the better you will be able to resist your own urges. Courtney said: I'm proud to be able to tell people my story of overcoming my self-destructive behavior. Every day is a struggle, but I always choose to find hope in the darkest situations and fight the urge.
Think About your Future without Cutting and Self-Harm
You have an incredible life ahead of you, filled with many, many years of potential joy and time with people you love, and who love you as well. Think about what you'd like your life to look like in 5, 10, 15 years, and start taking steps to move forward in that direction.
Abby is 25, and she sees hope in her future: If I don't stop cutting, then a lot of the things I want aren't going to work out the way I dream they will.
Cyndal said: I thought about when I have children, and they see the cuts and scars on my arms, and they ask me, 'Mommy what are those booboos on your arms?' That really made me think, 'WOW, what would I tell my children?' And it made me cry for a really long time"
I want to encourage you to be strong like Amanda. She said: It's a challenge every day, but I am fighting to not cut, because I know that my life can be really awesome, and cutting does not fit into that picture. When you feel your emotions building up, remember you now have alternatives to self-harm. Get self-help by talking to someone who cares.
Be strong. There is tremendous hope for you!
I haven’t cut yet but I’m seriously struggling. I think I will later today. I’m trying my hardest not too but I’m losing the fight.
Anna, Thank you for reaching out. We are here to listen and help. We have a partner that will help you with the need to self-harm.
• You can text them at at 1-803-570-2061 (Alternative No. 914-393-1904) Texting is available Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday 8:30 – 10:30 EST.
• Their website is http://www.doorofhope4teens.org.
• You can email them to doorofhope4teens@gmail.com (answered in 24/48 hrs)
Don’t cut. The first time is all it takes. Trust me, as a cutter I’ll tell you is not worth it. If you do it once you will most likely do it again. Don’t convince yourself I’m wrong. Don’t convince yourself your above that. Just don’t cut. Find someone who cares. Even if you don’t think they care, tell someone who can always make you smile how you feel. Just please don’t cut. Please don’t become as broken as you think you are. Please don’t be like me.
Im 13 and i cut and i have cut for 8 months and the only one that knows that i have depression in my family is me and my mom does but she does not know about me and it is so hard to not show the scars when they are on my arm and my leg i wish i could stop this horrible thing cause when i look at them i think bad about my self and it's horrible to think that. I need help but nothing helps or no one helps.:(
Hailey, It's important that you get help for the cutting and depression We are here to listen and help. We have a partner that will help you with the need to self-harm.
• You can text them at at 1-803-570-2061 (Alternative No. 914-393-1904) Texting is available Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday 8:30 – 10:30 EST.
• Their website is http://www.doorofhope4teens.org.
• You can email them to doorofhope4teens@gmail.com (answered in 24/48 hrs)
Help! I'm 12 and I cut in pretty sure I have depression!
Jaden, It's important that you get help now for the cutting. . We are here to listen and help. We have a partner that will help you with the need to self-harm.
• You can text them at at 1-803-570-2061 (Alternative No. 914-393-1904) Texting is available Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday 8:30 – 10:30 EST.
• Their website is http://www.doorofhope4teens.org.
• You can email them to doorofhope4teens@gmail.com (answered in 24/48 hrs)
i'm 16 and 11 months old. I've started to cut and it feels good what do i do to stop. NEED HELP NOW!!!!!!!!
Thank you for reaching out. We are here to listen and help. We have a partner that will help you with the need to self-harm.
• You can text them at at 1-803-570-2061 (Alternative No. 914-393-1904) Texting is available Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday 8:30 – 10:30 EST.
• Their website is http://www.doorofhope4teens.org.
• You can email them to doorofhope4teens@gmail.com (answered in 24/48 hrs)
my mom died and i'm being bullied. Every time some one bullies me i feel miserable and when i go home i take a razor and start slicing the back of my hand. How do i stop this?
We are sorry to hear that you lost your mom and the bullying you are experiencing. We're here to listen and help. We have a partner that will help you with the need to self-harm.
• You can text them at at 1-803-570-2061 (Alternative No. 914-393-1904) Texting is available Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday 8:30 – 10:30 EST.
• Their website is http://www.doorofhope4teens.org.
• You can email them to doorofhope4teens@gmail.com (answered in 24/48 hrs)
what if i don't have a phone? how do i talk to them?
Do you have a way to send them an email? They will email you back with help and possibly give you some resources for self-harm in your area. You can mail them at doorofhope4teens@gmail.com and they'll answer you back between 24 and 48 hours.
We are so sorry you are going through this. Losing a parent is devastating and you're cutting to cope with your loss and withe the bullying. Would you text our partner at 803-570-2061 (Alternative No. 914-393-1904) Texting is available Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday 8:30 – 10:30 EST. They can help you through this. Also, we have HopeCoaches available to chat with you in the evening from 7 pm - 12 am Central at thehopeline.com/gethelp
Find someone you trust. I know that you don’t want to sit in a therapy room and be forced to tell someone you don’t trust what you feel, so tell a friend. It helps. It really does.
I have been cutting since i was in the 4th grade. I have talked to my friends about it and cried multiple times to my friends for help, but the more i go to my friend and the more i cry the more i get the urge to cut. I said go my friend today that I just wanted it all to stop. She is very concerned for me. I have known her since we were in 4th grade and i feel like i can trust her with anything. My parents are now starting to ask me questions on why i always wear sweaters, it id not getting closer to spring, or it already is spring, and i don't have any more excuses. I don't want to be around anymore. I have tried committing suicide 2 times and i talk about it on a daily basis but my friends think that i am joking. I don't know what do anymore. I need help...can someone help me please
Giovanna, Thank you for reaching out. We are here to listen and help. We have a partner that will help you with the need to self-harm. You can actually text them at at 1-803-570-2061 (Alternative No. 914-393-1904) Texting is available Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday 8:30 – 10:30 EST. Their website is http://www.doorofhope4teens.org. You can email them to doorofhope4teens@gmail.com (answered in 24/48 hrs) You can also text them at 1-803-570-2061 (Alternative No. 914-393-1904) Texting is available Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday 8:30 – 10:30 EST. Take a chance and reach out to them for help. You will be glad you did. They have helped many teens and young adults we have sent them overcome self-harm.