In my blog, "How to Quit Cutting for Good", I talked about 3 alternative coping strategies for self-harm: Talk it out, wake up to your actual feelings, and seek God.
Once you decide you're committed to stop cutting, you will find out what a struggle it is to go sober and stay free from this horrible addiction. Even as you are beginning to recover, you still will feel the cravings to cut again. You are going to need to be prepared to know how to deal with those powerful urges. Here are some practical ideas to help you or someone you know be set free.
Stop feeding the cutting monster - wait it out
Every urge you have to cut will go away in time, but only if you don't act on it. Each time you act on your urge to cut, you're making that urge stronger kind of like feeding a monster. Each time you feed the addiction, the more likely you will feel the urge to cut the next time you feel the same emotional pressure. The more you stand against the urge, without giving in, the more your urges will decrease.
Distract yourself from the desire to cut
One of the best ways to stop cutting is by distracting yourself with someone or something else. This will allow the moment to pass when you're feeling the deep cravings to cut and get your mind off of it. It's impossible for your mind to think about two things at the exact same time. Here are some ideas on how to do this.
- Call a friend or meet them in person. Talk about what's comfortable for you. The key is to keep talking.
- Take a shower. This will help invigorate your body so physically it too is distracted. (Make sure there are no razors in the shower).
- Exercise Walk, run, ride your bike, climb, swim, do yoga, etc. While you are exercising, your mind is more likely to think about something other than cutting.
- Play with a pet. Take your dog for a walk.
- Watch television or a non-violent, healthy movie.
- Make yourself a sandwich, drink a glass of water or a cup of hot chocolate.
- Listen to positive music. It will definitely help to change your mood.
- Write in your journal. Learn to express your feelings through writing.
- Create art or some kind of creative hobby.
- Volunteer somewhere like a nursing home, or a hospital. In fact, getting a job will help as well. Some people cut out of sheer boredom.
Natalia put it this way: I still fight the urges, but the way I deal with it is by writing in my journal or talking to my best friend and boyfriend who are currently helping me through this.
The point is: Find something else to do. If none of these ideas are possible at the moment, try finding a substitute for the cutting sensation.
- Rub an ice cube on your skin, instead of cutting.
- Wear a rubber band on your wrist and snap it when you feel the urge.
- Draw on your skin with a red marker or food coloring in the place you would normally cut.
- Put temporary tattoos in the places you have the urge to cut.
Angel said rubber bands have helped her. I've learned that snapping them against your wrist takes away a little bit of the amount to want to cut yourself. Ali said the key for her was she needed something physical to feel like she was still alive, that she was OK. So, I mark a little pink heart on my calendar for every day I don't cut...and believe it or not it helps. Help is possible and stopping is realistic.
Tell your story
The biggest problem with a cutting addiction is it forces you to focus on how YOU are feeling. Stop thinking about yourself so much and focus on other cutters who need your help. The more you can reach out to others, encouraging them to find better ways to express their feelings, the better you will be able to resist your own urges. Courtney said: I'm proud to be able to tell people my story of overcoming my self-destructive behavior. Every day is a struggle, but I always choose to find hope in the darkest situations and fight the urge.
Think About your Future without Cutting and Self-Harm
You have an incredible life ahead of you, filled with many, many years of potential joy and time with people you love, and who love you as well. Think about what you'd like your life to look like in 5, 10, 15 years, and start taking steps to move forward in that direction.
Abby is 25, and she sees hope in her future: If I don't stop cutting, then a lot of the things I want aren't going to work out the way I dream they will.
Cyndal said: I thought about when I have children, and they see the cuts and scars on my arms, and they ask me, 'Mommy what are those booboos on your arms?' That really made me think, 'WOW, what would I tell my children?' And it made me cry for a really long time"
I want to encourage you to be strong like Amanda. She said: It's a challenge every day, but I am fighting to not cut, because I know that my life can be really awesome, and cutting does not fit into that picture. When you feel your emotions building up, remember you now have alternatives to self-harm. Get self-help by talking to someone who cares.
Be strong. There is tremendous hope for you!
im am ** yrs old and have been resisting cutting for 3 months, a girl has been worried about me and made me stop
Zane, Thank you for reaching out. We are here to listen and help. It's important that you find out now what is prompting you to want to cut yourself, before it becomes and addiction. We have a partner that will help you with this urge to self-harm.
You can text them at at 1-803-570-2061 (Alternative No. 914-393-1904) Texting is available Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday 8:30 – 10:30 EST.
Their website is http://www.doorofhope4teens.org.
You can email them to doorofhope4teens@gmail.com (answered in 24/48 hrs)
Take a chance and reach out to Door of Hope for help. You will be glad you did. They have helped many teens and young adults we have sent them overcome self-harm.
I am trying everyday to fight the urges I even thrown my blades away a week ago but 4 days before I bought new one and start doing it again,talking to anyone about this makes me feel like I'm asking for someone's sympathy I feel being judge
Sofia, The important thing is that you are reaching out for help. We are sorry you feel like you are being judged. Self-harm is a legitimate addiction and can be overcome with the right help and support. We have a partner that will help you with the need to self-harm.
You can text them at at 1-803-570-2061 (Alternative No. 914-393-1904) Texting is available Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday 8:30 – 10:30 EST.
Their website is http://www.doorofhope4teens.org.
You can email them to doorofhope4teens@gmail.com (answered in 24/48 hrs)
If you ever feel so overwhelmed you can’t go on, please call:
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255
Or Chat with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/
Or Crisis Text Line 27/7 by texting “Start” to 741-741
Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.
Take a chance and reach out to Door of Hope for help. You will be glad you did. They have helped many that we have sent to them overcome the desire to cut and self-harm.
I'm 49 yrs old. Sorry, but must give feedback on portion of article about resisting urge to cut...i have resisted cutting just over one month, and the urge is so strong now i feel like pulling my hair out in handfuls because the cutting urge has grown incredibly.
I cant stop. I still cut after so many years.
Hi my name is Kerry I cut sometimes last week there was alot going on I went to my class I had these bad thoughts and I didn't know what I was thinking or doing because this stress and anxiety from school so I wrote suicide on the table and I was stabbing myself with a pencil and my favorite teacher came in so my teachers took me to the nurse my favorite teacher was really concerned about me she hugged me and told me it was gonna be okay she also said she was really hurt that I did that to myself and then she wanted me to promise her something that I wouldn't hurt myself anymore she is my favorite kind hearted person she is like a mother to me a mother that I didn't know I have my current mom doesn't even pay attention to me but I am glad to have my favorite teacher in my life
Hi Kerry, We're sorry you're going through this and are glad to hear you have a teacher that really cares about you and what you're going through. Thank you for reaching out and commenting on this blog. We are here to listen and help. We have a partner that will help you with the need to self-harm.
• You can text them at at 1-803-570-2061 (Alternative No. 914-393-1904) Texting is available Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday 8:30 – 10:30 EST.
• Their website is http://www.doorofhope4teens.org.
• You can email them to doorofhope4teens@gmail.com (answered in 24/48 hrs)