In my blog, "How to Quit Cutting for Good", I talked about 3 alternative coping strategies for self-harm: Talk it out, wake up to your actual feelings, and seek God.
Once you decide you're committed to stop cutting, you will find out what a struggle it is to go sober and stay free from this horrible addiction. Even as you are beginning to recover, you still will feel the cravings to cut again. You are going to need to be prepared to know how to deal with those powerful urges. Here are some practical ideas to help you or someone you know be set free.
Stop feeding the cutting monster - wait it out
Every urge you have to cut will go away in time, but only if you don't act on it. Each time you act on your urge to cut, you're making that urge stronger kind of like feeding a monster. Each time you feed the addiction, the more likely you will feel the urge to cut the next time you feel the same emotional pressure. The more you stand against the urge, without giving in, the more your urges will decrease.
Distract yourself from the desire to cut
One of the best ways to stop cutting is by distracting yourself with someone or something else. This will allow the moment to pass when you're feeling the deep cravings to cut and get your mind off of it. It's impossible for your mind to think about two things at the exact same time. Here are some ideas on how to do this.
- Call a friend or meet them in person. Talk about what's comfortable for you. The key is to keep talking.
- Take a shower. This will help invigorate your body so physically it too is distracted. (Make sure there are no razors in the shower).
- Exercise Walk, run, ride your bike, climb, swim, do yoga, etc. While you are exercising, your mind is more likely to think about something other than cutting.
- Play with a pet. Take your dog for a walk.
- Watch television or a non-violent, healthy movie.
- Make yourself a sandwich, drink a glass of water or a cup of hot chocolate.
- Listen to positive music. It will definitely help to change your mood.
- Write in your journal. Learn to express your feelings through writing.
- Create art or some kind of creative hobby.
- Volunteer somewhere like a nursing home, or a hospital. In fact, getting a job will help as well. Some people cut out of sheer boredom.
Natalia put it this way: I still fight the urges, but the way I deal with it is by writing in my journal or talking to my best friend and boyfriend who are currently helping me through this.
The point is: Find something else to do. If none of these ideas are possible at the moment, try finding a substitute for the cutting sensation.
- Rub an ice cube on your skin, instead of cutting.
- Wear a rubber band on your wrist and snap it when you feel the urge.
- Draw on your skin with a red marker or food coloring in the place you would normally cut.
- Put temporary tattoos in the places you have the urge to cut.
Angel said rubber bands have helped her. I've learned that snapping them against your wrist takes away a little bit of the amount to want to cut yourself. Ali said the key for her was she needed something physical to feel like she was still alive, that she was OK. So, I mark a little pink heart on my calendar for every day I don't cut...and believe it or not it helps. Help is possible and stopping is realistic.
Tell your story
The biggest problem with a cutting addiction is it forces you to focus on how YOU are feeling. Stop thinking about yourself so much and focus on other cutters who need your help. The more you can reach out to others, encouraging them to find better ways to express their feelings, the better you will be able to resist your own urges. Courtney said: I'm proud to be able to tell people my story of overcoming my self-destructive behavior. Every day is a struggle, but I always choose to find hope in the darkest situations and fight the urge.
Think About your Future without Cutting and Self-Harm
You have an incredible life ahead of you, filled with many, many years of potential joy and time with people you love, and who love you as well. Think about what you'd like your life to look like in 5, 10, 15 years, and start taking steps to move forward in that direction.
Abby is 25, and she sees hope in her future: If I don't stop cutting, then a lot of the things I want aren't going to work out the way I dream they will.
Cyndal said: I thought about when I have children, and they see the cuts and scars on my arms, and they ask me, 'Mommy what are those booboos on your arms?' That really made me think, 'WOW, what would I tell my children?' And it made me cry for a really long time"
I want to encourage you to be strong like Amanda. She said: It's a challenge every day, but I am fighting to not cut, because I know that my life can be really awesome, and cutting does not fit into that picture. When you feel your emotions building up, remember you now have alternatives to self-harm. Get self-help by talking to someone who cares.
Be strong. There is tremendous hope for you!
I have anxiety and misguided Anger, as my anxiety has gotten worse I've started cutting. It happens in a cycle, the anxiety hits and I blame it all on myself and just want it to go away. So I did what I've been resisting for so long, I cut. I did it to cause pain and yet feel relief at the same time.
Every time The Anxiety hits I have that feeling, that urge to cut. I strain not to but about a month ago it overpowered me and I did it...then again and again. So right now I'm on base one.
i used to cut when i was younger things were really bad then but i got better, and i stopped for a couple years but my life took a tumble and i started again and i dont know how to stop, the motivation for stopping is gone now. it left with him i guess, and i just want my daddy back i mean i cant even see him anymore and i just feel so hopeless. i know he still loves me and this wasnt in his control, or at least i hope he still does and doesnt hate me for what hes been through which has been my fault i just >_< i dont know what to do anymore
I haven't cut in almost 9 years, but tonight is a huge struggle. I know I won't do it, but I miss it so damn much! I cut for over 20 years, and still bear the scars. I hate that I still don't have a way to deal with stress that's as relieving as cutting.
Does it never stop? Do you always want to do it? I need to know that this goes away.
I was eleven or twelve when I started. It wasn't cutting per se but injury. The cutting soon followed. I thought it was regarding rejection of a boy that was really a date rape but it became more. Never enough for someone,never enough. I became stronger around age thirty and now near fifty I've fallen back. I remember more, I think, and I don't want to know the truth. If it is true I believe that person was trying to make amends. If I tell is it worth hurting so many others. Jesus forgave the sinner. I have sinned also.bwhat is the answer
I cut when i was 14 yrs old and then it slowly got worse, by the time i turned 15 i thought about it everyday. I had the urge to feel something because i felt nothing. I was in a three year relationship that was hell even though i was young i also was always getting hurt by the people i loved at a very young age about 7 years old i wont go into deep detail about that. I tried to hide it from everyone i would sit in my room and pretend i was sleeping i would shut my door and cry and cut all night. because i was embarrassed i didn't want anyone to worry about me and make a scene, but finally someone noticed..... my little brother. I was so mad at myself i could not forgive myself i didn't want my brother to see me like that. One night i hit rock bottom i toke a hard look at myself and i thought of my brother i wanted to show him that life can get better even though i had very little hope for myself. I started finding ways to help me stop like running,listening to music, studying things i wanted to learn about. But i am not going to lie urges still came but i slowly got better little by little. I am know 16 yrs old and haven't cut for 5 months i am doing a lot better i broke up with my ex boyfriend a month ago and had no contact sense it is hard but i am getting through it.I am finding things i love to do and going for it. Always keep moving foreword and striving for your dreams. NEVER GIVE UP.
Thank you for sharing your story of hope! You are brave and courageous.
I just hope i can help someone fight the urge and get them help because its truly amazing how life can change. Even if your at the point of just giving up on everything. I was there at one point in my life people just need to understand how critical it is to keep moving foreword and work on them self. You cant expect to get different results if you keep doing the same thing over again. Yes getting help and talking to someone is a good step forward, but it really comes down to you.