If you live in an abusive home or relationship, or have been abused by someone you love or trust, it can be difficult to recognize the signs and to break the cycle of abuse. But you can find hope and healing starting right here, right now.
Abuse happens when one person mistreats another, often regularly and repeatedly, through the use of cruelty (which can take the form of manipulation, cruel words, sexual assault, or physical violence). Types of abuse may overlap, but if you’re experiencing any of these signs or symptoms, it’s time to get help.
Physical & Emotional
Your abuser uses force on your body to intentionally harm you.
Your emotions are manipulated so that you live in a state of shame, self-loathing, or fear.
Spiritual
Spiritual abuse occurs when an individual uses spiritual or religious beliefs to exert power or control over you. The abuse may involve using fear, pressure to submit, intimidation or psychological manipulation within the teachings of religion. Spiritual abuse is not isolated to one religious group. It can happen within any faith. Most often places of worship are healthy environments, pointing to God as a source of love and hope. However, when the teachings of a church and the image of God are twisted to cause pain, the spiritual abuse that occurs can have a deeply damaging impact.
Psychological
The abuse you experience has caused the onset of a mental health diagnosis like depression, anxiety, or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Repeated abuse may lead you to thoughts or plans for self-harm or suicide, or you may engage in addictive behavior before, during, or after incidents of abuse.
Sexual
If the violence and manipulation you experience is characterized by pressure to perform sexual acts or touching without your consent, or if you have been the victim of human trafficking or rape, the relationship is sexually abusive.
Verbal
Insults, hateful words, lies— anything someone says to tear you down or attempt to diminish your worth is considered verbal abuse.
Neglect & Abandonment
Your abuser deprives you of basic needs or leaves you alone in unsafe places or situations.
Signs of Abuse
You may be in an abusive relationship with a boyfriend, girlfriend, family member, or someone else if:
They tell you rude, unkind, hateful, untrue, or insulting things about yourself.
They explode in anger often and/or without cause.
You are forced or pressured to have sex, perform sexual acts, or touch them sexually without your consent.
You are forced or pressured to use drugs and alcohol.
You have been abandoned in unfamiliar places.
You have been deprived of food, water, clean clothes, a place to stay, or other necessities.
You are prevented from going to work or school, or from doing things you enjoy.
You feel like everything you do or say (including who you can or cannot be friends with) is under their control.
You are blamed for the cruelty you experience.
Your information will be kept private and a link to your eBook will be emailed to you.
Psychologists and therapists use a tool called the cycle of abuse to explain why it can be so difficult to get out of an abusive relationship.
If you have experienced abuse, you’ve seen this pattern play out. Things are tense before the incident of abuse. Then the abuse happens and you’re hurt. Afterward, your abuser apologizes and makes excuses for their behavior, often begging you to forgive them or take them back.
This keeps them from being truly accountable for their behavior and they manipulate because they don’t want to face any consequences for their actions. This is what allows the abuse to continue.
But now you know the truth – and that truth can help you find freedom.
No matter what your abuser says, the abuse you experience is not normal and is not okay. No matter how small they try to make it seem, abuse is a serious problem that must be addressed immediately. Abuse is never, ever your fault or your responsibility. Your abuser is the only one to blame for their their cruel behavior. They must be held accountable and experience the consequences of their actions.
If you are afraid to stand up to your abuser, reach out today. We are here to help you make a plan and take the steps to do so safely. TheHopeLine has helped many people break free from toxic and abusive relationships. We are here for you as soon as you reach out.