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Loneliness

Tips For Feeling Lonely & Calming a Lonely Heart

Loneliness is one of the most common human emotions, but that doesn’t make it easy to explain or understand. You can feel alone even if you’re in a crowded room. You can be a very social person, surrounded by loving relationships, and still feel lonely at the end of the day.

People who’ve reached out to TheHopeLine are often afraid to talk about their loneliness. Maybe it’s difficult to talk about the past trauma that’s led to their loneliness (like abandonment, fighting, or being in a toxic relationship). Sometimes they feel ashamed to admit that they’re lonely. Sometimes they are in denial about how lonely they are. Sometimes they feel trapped in their loneliness.

Whatever your reasons for feeling lonely, you’re not alone in those feelings. And you can find ways to better understand, manage, and heal from the pain of loneliness.
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What Loneliness Feels Like

Loneliness can impact virtually every area of your life.

Physical

Loneliness is not experienced only in your thoughts. It can actually affect your body as well. Loneliness can cause muscle tension, digestive issues, weakened immune system, headaches, sleep disturbances and changes to your appetite.

Emotional

You can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely, and over time this feeling will take a toll on your mind. Research has shown that chronic feelings of loneliness can have an effect on overall brain health.  You may find yourself feeling empty and unwanted which can commonly lead to developing mood swings and even depression.

Spiritual

At its core, loneliness is a desperate longing for connection. We were created to be in community. Our souls have a built-in longing for human interaction. Recognizing your feelings of loneliness may be the motivation you need to seek change and find true connection.

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Check out these stories of hope from others who have struggled with this issue.

The Purpose of Loneliness

People feel lonely at different times and for different reasons. In general, they have one thing in common: they don’t have to be alone to feel alone. Clinician Dr. Karyn Hall puts it this way:

“Feeling lonely has little to do with how many friends you have. It’s the way you feel inside. . . In general, those who feel lonely actually spend no more time alone than those who feel more connected. Loneliness is a different experience than solitude. Solitude is being alone by choice and wanting that aloneness or being comfortable with it. Loneliness means there is a discomfort – you want to be more connected to others.”

While loneliness is difficult to feel, it has an important purpose. Loneliness is your brain’s way of signaling (through your emotions) that you may benefit from reaching out for help, conversation, friendship, or companionship.
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Calming a Lonely Heart

Help is within your grasp when it comes to understanding why you’re lonely and doing something to calm those feelings. You can talk to our HopeCoaches about how you’re feeling, and get answers to your questions about the source of your loneliness. You can request prayers whenever you’re feeling lonely. Making connections like these can be a great start on the path toward greater calm and less intense feelings of loneliness.

It’s important to remember that, no matter how lonely you feel, happiness, contentment, and a feeling of safety is still possible.

There are people who care about you and want to help you do the necessary work to have a meaningful connection with them. If you need to start small, that’s okay. Making a phone call, sending a text, or dropping a line via email — all of these are important steps that you can take right now to break the cycle of loneliness. You can do this – and we’re here to help whenever you need it.

SPIRITUAL PRACTICE

When you are lonely, it is easy to believe the lie that if you’re feeling alone then you must not have anyone in your life to turn to. However, the truth is that God is there to help you through life. This Bible verse promises you are never truly alone... “Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.” Isaiah 41:10

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