Many people have unhealthy relationships with sex, and many have been victimized by sexual assault, abuse, or misuse. You are not alone. There are people who feel your pain and know your struggle.
You are a human, not an object. Your body is still a temple (1 Corinthians 16:9) and still sacred. What you have been through does not change or tarnish who you are. You are no less valuable and are just as worthy of love as you were before your sexual struggles began.
A healthy understanding of oneself and healthy boundaries in relationships are integral to a healthier understanding of (and relationship to) sexual relationships and behaviors. That clarity comes from talking about sex with someone you can trust: a mentor, a therapist, a physician, or someone in your faith community.