I've Thought About Hanging Myself a Couple of Times

In this video, Dawson McAllister and a young man named, Josh, talk about suicide and where those suicidal thoughts are coming from on Dawson's radio show, Dawson McAllister Live. If you want to know what to do when you're having suicidal thoughts...here is some practical advice to deal with your deep thoughts and emotions.

Josh: I’m having suicidal thoughts.

Dawson: When you think about suicide…what do you think?

Josh: The world hates me. People are out to get me. I just want to kill myself.

Dawson: What’s your plan?

Josh: I’ve thought about hanging myself a couple of times.

Dawson: Have you thought about your plan in detail?

Josh: Not really.

Dawson: That’s good news. I always ask people that when they say they’re suicidal. I believe you…I believe that you’re thinking about it. I’m taking what you say very seriously. Not blowing it off in any way, shape or form.  Somebody that’s really ready to kill themselves is thinking about the plan all the time. You’re not.

Josh: No

Dawson: And that’s good news.

Josh: Yeah

Dawson: If we could deal with whatever it is causing your life to be so negative then suicide would no longer be an issue with you.

Josh: Yeah

Dawson: Am I making any sense?

Josh: Yeah, you are.

Dawson: Alright, so what is it that’s bothering you?

Josh: It’s just that, everyone argues with me. They think I’m always wrong. They say crap about me, like I’m stupid. I don’t know how to do anything right.

Dawson: Who are the people that are telling you that?

Josh: Some old friends and my brother.

Dawson: And you believe that?

Josh: Sometimes

Dawson: That’s part of the problem, isn’t it?

Josh: Yeah

Dawson: You’re hanging out with the wrong people and you’re believing what they say about you.

Josh: Yeah

Dawson: I don’t think you’re stupid. We just had a fairly deep conversation about suicide, and you tracked with me all the way through. I don’t see stupid here at all. I think you’ve gotten yourself into some pretty circular stinky thinking. I’m a loser. Everybody’s talking about me. I’ve heard the word everybody several times. Which tells me it’s an overstatement. Not everybody is thinking poorly about you. Not everybody thinks you’re stupid.

Josh: No

Dawson: But you’ve gotten in that thinking…that circular thinking. So, what are going to do? Well, we are going to stay away from the kind of relationships where there’s abuse taking place. We’re going to say to you brother, listen when you talk to me like that, all you do is spin me into depression. Talk with your parents so that that kind of viciousness can stop. Then say to your parents, look I’m struggling with depression, and I need some help. I need some counseling, some therapy, something. And then we begin to feel better about ourselves, and the thoughts of suicide go away.

If you're struggling with thoughts of suicide or dealing with thoughts of hating yourself, a HopeCoach is ready to listen. Free, confidential, online chat with a HopeCoach. 

If you or a friend need support right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, for free confidential, 24/7 help. For a list of crisis centers around the world and additional help, please visit the suicide prevention resource page.