What to Know About Suicidal Ideation
What Is Suicidal Ideation?
Suicidal ideation is when you think about killing yourself. This could mean that someone is actively planning and considering suicide, or it could mean that someone is so overwhelmed that they just don’t want to go on. It’s estimated that about 9% of the general population experience suicidal thoughts, and around 5% of people between the ages of 18 and 25.
Those with health issues or other major life challenges are even more likely to deal with suicidal thoughts. Situational stressors like military service or being discriminated against can increase your risk of suicidal ideation, as can diagnoses of chronic pain, traumatic brain injury, substance abuse disorder, depression, bipolar disorder, and more.
Passive suicidal ideation is when a person wishes to be dead or hopes that it will happen soon but doesn’t make any plans to make it happen. This could look like crawling into bed for the night and hoping that you don’t wake up in the morning. This could look like thinking about how you wouldn’t have to face your problems if you were gone. It could also look like feeling so tired that you wish you could just “sleep forever.” Essentially, you may not necessarily want to die, but you do not want to live your life either.
Active suicidal ideation is when a person not only wants to die but fully intends to and may even already have plans for how to do it. While both are cause for concern and treatment, if you are having suicidal thoughts that include details about how you would commit the act, it’s important that you talk to someone ASAP. Please reach out to a Hope Coach today, or call 988 for support and 911 if you’re in immediate danger.
Do You Feel Suicidal Right Now?
I know life can be hard and problems can pile so high that we cannot see a way out. I want to give you some practical ideas to try when you are at the depth of despair and feeling overwhelmed and hopeless. When you feel suicidal, please try these four steps.
When you have lost hope and believe suicide is the only way out, please try these four ideas:
1. Reach Out for Help
I understand that finding the strength to do this can be really hard, especially if you also feel alone, but suicide prevention services are available to help.
- Chat with a Hope Coach
- Call or chat with the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988 or www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
- Call your Contract for Life Partner or anyone who you trust...friend, pastor, parent, teacher, etc.
What Is a Contract for Life Partner?
Every person who is even remotely thinking of suicide, should have a Contract for Life partner. A Contract for Life partner is someone you trust and who understands you. This is someone you make a commitment to that says, I promise that if I have serious thoughts of killing myself, I will talk with you or with someone else I trust before I do anything destructive.
John is a survivor and here is his advice, "Don’t keep quiet if you are going to hurt yourself or others…please speak up. If you are feeling suicidal then talk to someone, don’t keep quiet about it. There is someone out there who will listen to you."
Keely said she has an older friend she calls when she feels suicidal thoughts coming on: I told her everything. And I told her that I need her help. Sometimes I just call to hear her voice to know I'm not alone. Other times, I ask if we can get together. She doesn't grill me, she's just there for me.
A Contract for Life partner is priceless because you can meet with them face to face or talk on the phone anytime. If you do not have one, please make it a priority to go looking for one today.
2. Refer to your Safety Plan
Take time right now to print out the Prevention Checklist and fill in the blanks of the Suicide Safety Plan. Then, whenever you have depression and suicidal thoughts, you can pull out your plan and follow what you have written down.
3. Remove whatever can harm you at that very moment
If there are guns, knives, and pills in your house, then RUN from your house. Get away from anything you can use to hurt yourself. This will buy you time to settle down and begin to think rationally. Some people are most suicidal when they are drunk.
Have someone you know, and trust clear all those things out of your house.
Wendelin said she was suicidal for over three years but was helped by knowing she wasn't alone: I had a friend who was there for me no matter what. I tried to push this friend away so many times, she took away the knives and scissors I'd cut with, my dad's diving knife, my grandpa's gun, and the hose and rope so I couldn't hang myself. Even though I was so mad at her for it, I knew she cared and that she really did love me.
Glory wrote: I tried a couple of times but it never really worked. Then one night I realized something. If you can't change it, get over it. There are much better things to do in life than sit around hating life. God gave us life so we should use it. Killing yourself is only running away from your problems. It won't help one bit.
4. Turn to other Activities
The key here is to get your mind off of doing the unthinkable. If you are near suicide, you want to change the subject, or divert your mind from what you were planning to do. Walk, jog, bike, swim, take a nap, take a hot shower, watch a movie, listen to music, read a book, do household chores, clean, go shopping, go to the park, volunteer at an animal shelter for a few hours – An excuse to play with puppies? Yes, please! Anything that has the potential to help you lift your spirit.
Kelsey discovered this worked for her: I actually went and got a knife to kill myself and I just stopped and I was thinking this really isn't solving my problems is it? So I just decided to try to get into something like hip-hop classes, get my mind off my life, and just try to live life to the fullest.
You were made for more.
I know it feels like life will never get better, but I believe that you can get to the other side of this pain. I believe you were created for more than what you are feeling right now. God designed you in His image. He breathed life into you. He KNOWS you and LOVES you and has a purpose for your life. It may not FEEL that way, but we can't always trust our feelings.
There is a man in the Bible who God says was a man after his heart. His name was David. Yet David struggled with his feelings a lot. Read the book of Psalms and you will see what I am talking about. For example, here is what King David said in Psalm 6:6-9, "All night I flood my bed with weeping, drenching it with my tears. My vision is blurred by grief; my eyes are worn out because of all my enemies. Go away, all you who do evil, for the Lord has heard my weeping. The Lord has heard my plea; the Lord will answer my prayer." Here are other Bible verses to encourage you - Verses of Hope when Struggling with Suicidal Thoughts
There are many more articles on TheHopeLine regarding suicide and we want you to know you are not alone. You matter, you are good enough and you are loved.
If you or a friend need support right now, chat on-line with a Hope Coach, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988, for free confidential, 24/7 help. Head here for a list of crisis centers around the world. For additional help, please visit the suicide prevention resource page.
You know youre pathetic when you post about not having a contract for life partner and its not even good enough to be placed in the discussion. Wow thank you guys, i doubt this will be posted but there isnt help for everyone. Some people such as myself just arent enough and it sucks but its like that
Oh great i have absolutely nobody for a contract for life partner. I dont matter and its been shown almost to the point that it can be fact that i am not loved. I say this because im sure there are other people out there that dont have anybody and can see through phrases that only apply to more fortunate ones
I've been thinking bout suicide since 6th grade n I'm a senior but never came around doin it till I see how my life goes but I know its bout to happen. family, friends, therapy, ain't none of that work on me.
Whoa, whoa, WHOA there friend! I know you may be feeling hopeless, but guess what, friend? YOU'RE NOT, YOU NEVER WERE AND YOU NEVER WILL BE!!!! Trust me when I say that you're gonna be just fine, you just gotta work a bit and keep hoping for is all!
Here is the king of run on sentences: Im 43..former marine, messed with by three different babysitters as a child, moved around all of my life, on my second marriage, 1st was a train wreck to my childhood sweetheart, two grown daughters that i did not get to be part of their lives as they grew up, My current wife two miscarriages, that i cry over about once a week, one far enough along we had her name picked out. We also have a 4 year old son that I am afraid I am affecting with my depression. My wife is wonderful, and generally sweet and selfless, we dont even fight, other than my emotionally shutting her out as I fall deeper into this bottomless pit. I have never raised a hand to her, and over 17 years of relationship, the only time i ever even raised my voice was a frustrated "What the hell am I even doing here" outburst that was more directed at me, and my situation with my first marraige than anythign else.
I have a job that i can lose really easily if look for help in certain areas, and If i seek ANY help I have to go through THEM(think: clearance). My health has gone down the tubes since my time in the corps...service connected disabilities including Lyme's disease, asthma, and bad knees. Weight gone up, with lack of exercise, lack of will to do anything other than go to work, come home, rinse and repeat. My moods's gone gradually down over the years. I mask it well at work..very well in fact, getting employee of the month several times over a few hundred peers in two locations. Honestly work seems like a vacation to avoid coming home to drag my wife down with all my problems, but im getting frazzled there too, and physically exhausted. Suicidal..well I cant talk about that unless i want to lose my job, which is needed for the previous child support, current expenses, etc. Not that im a conspiracy nut, but i know that certain things are monitored, I.E. Facebook.
I am intelligent to KNOW i need help, but Im afraid to get it. I would be disingenuous If i didn't also admit Ive been screaming for attention in my despair, but to articulate what it is I want is damn near impossible. I can say that it physically hurts when im in the low points of the funk I am in...whether its anxiety, depression, or both i cannot really say. Its just getting harder and harder to bounce back up again when i do crater out. I dont want to drag my wife down the drain with me, or especially my 4 year old son, who is full of energy, but had had some agression issues in the past year.
It's hard to be in middle age and want to die
Brianna, thank you for encouraging us!!! 🙂