What to Know About Suicidal Ideation
What Is Suicidal Ideation?
Suicidal ideation is when you think about killing yourself. This could mean that someone is actively planning and considering suicide, or it could mean that someone is so overwhelmed that they just don’t want to go on. It’s estimated that about 9% of the general population experience suicidal thoughts, and around 5% of people between the ages of 18 and 25.
Those with health issues or other major life challenges are even more likely to deal with suicidal thoughts. Situational stressors like military service or being discriminated against can increase your risk of suicidal ideation, as can diagnoses of chronic pain, traumatic brain injury, substance abuse disorder, depression, bipolar disorder, and more.
Passive suicidal ideation is when a person wishes to be dead or hopes that it will happen soon but doesn’t make any plans to make it happen. This could look like crawling into bed for the night and hoping that you don’t wake up in the morning. This could look like thinking about how you wouldn’t have to face your problems if you were gone. It could also look like feeling so tired that you wish you could just “sleep forever.” Essentially, you may not necessarily want to die, but you do not want to live your life either.
Active suicidal ideation is when a person not only wants to die but fully intends to and may even already have plans for how to do it. While both are cause for concern and treatment, if you are having suicidal thoughts that include details about how you would commit the act, it’s important that you talk to someone ASAP. Please reach out to a Hope Coach today, or call 988 for support and 911 if you’re in immediate danger.
Do You Feel Suicidal Right Now?
I know life can be hard and problems can pile so high that we cannot see a way out. I want to give you some practical ideas to try when you are at the depth of despair and feeling overwhelmed and hopeless. When you feel suicidal, please try these four steps.
When you have lost hope and believe suicide is the only way out, please try these four ideas:
1. Reach Out for Help
I understand that finding the strength to do this can be really hard, especially if you also feel alone, but suicide prevention services are available to help.
- Chat with a Hope Coach
- Call or chat with the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988 or www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
- Call your Contract for Life Partner or anyone who you trust...friend, pastor, parent, teacher, etc.
What Is a Contract for Life Partner?
Every person who is even remotely thinking of suicide, should have a Contract for Life partner. A Contract for Life partner is someone you trust and who understands you. This is someone you make a commitment to that says, I promise that if I have serious thoughts of killing myself, I will talk with you or with someone else I trust before I do anything destructive.
John is a survivor and here is his advice, "Don’t keep quiet if you are going to hurt yourself or others…please speak up. If you are feeling suicidal then talk to someone, don’t keep quiet about it. There is someone out there who will listen to you."
Keely said she has an older friend she calls when she feels suicidal thoughts coming on: I told her everything. And I told her that I need her help. Sometimes I just call to hear her voice to know I'm not alone. Other times, I ask if we can get together. She doesn't grill me, she's just there for me.
A Contract for Life partner is priceless because you can meet with them face to face or talk on the phone anytime. If you do not have one, please make it a priority to go looking for one today.
2. Refer to your Safety Plan
Take time right now to print out the Prevention Checklist and fill in the blanks of the Suicide Safety Plan. Then, whenever you have depression and suicidal thoughts, you can pull out your plan and follow what you have written down.
3. Remove whatever can harm you at that very moment
If there are guns, knives, and pills in your house, then RUN from your house. Get away from anything you can use to hurt yourself. This will buy you time to settle down and begin to think rationally. Some people are most suicidal when they are drunk.
Have someone you know, and trust clear all those things out of your house.
Wendelin said she was suicidal for over three years but was helped by knowing she wasn't alone: I had a friend who was there for me no matter what. I tried to push this friend away so many times, she took away the knives and scissors I'd cut with, my dad's diving knife, my grandpa's gun, and the hose and rope so I couldn't hang myself. Even though I was so mad at her for it, I knew she cared and that she really did love me.
Glory wrote: I tried a couple of times but it never really worked. Then one night I realized something. If you can't change it, get over it. There are much better things to do in life than sit around hating life. God gave us life so we should use it. Killing yourself is only running away from your problems. It won't help one bit.
4. Turn to other Activities
The key here is to get your mind off of doing the unthinkable. If you are near suicide, you want to change the subject, or divert your mind from what you were planning to do. Walk, jog, bike, swim, take a nap, take a hot shower, watch a movie, listen to music, read a book, do household chores, clean, go shopping, go to the park, volunteer at an animal shelter for a few hours – An excuse to play with puppies? Yes, please! Anything that has the potential to help you lift your spirit.
Kelsey discovered this worked for her: I actually went and got a knife to kill myself and I just stopped and I was thinking this really isn't solving my problems is it? So I just decided to try to get into something like hip-hop classes, get my mind off my life, and just try to live life to the fullest.
You were made for more.
I know it feels like life will never get better, but I believe that you can get to the other side of this pain. I believe you were created for more than what you are feeling right now. God designed you in His image. He breathed life into you. He KNOWS you and LOVES you and has a purpose for your life. It may not FEEL that way, but we can't always trust our feelings.
There is a man in the Bible who God says was a man after his heart. His name was David. Yet David struggled with his feelings a lot. Read the book of Psalms and you will see what I am talking about. For example, here is what King David said in Psalm 6:6-9, "All night I flood my bed with weeping, drenching it with my tears. My vision is blurred by grief; my eyes are worn out because of all my enemies. Go away, all you who do evil, for the Lord has heard my weeping. The Lord has heard my plea; the Lord will answer my prayer." Here are other Bible verses to encourage you - Verses of Hope when Struggling with Suicidal Thoughts
There are many more articles on TheHopeLine regarding suicide and we want you to know you are not alone. You matter, you are good enough and you are loved.
If you or a friend need support right now, chat on-line with a Hope Coach, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988, for free confidential, 24/7 help. Head here for a list of crisis centers around the world. For additional help, please visit the suicide prevention resource page.
There’s no such thing as hope. At least not for me anyway. I have no reason to live anymore. I am a pathetic loser and I hate myself. I fell in love with someone only to learn he had a girlfriend. I told him how I felt in a letter and he ignores me now. I am done living!
Michele, We are here to listen. It is important that you talk to someone about how you are feeling. You are valuable and worthy and your life is important. Will you please talk to a crisis counselor? We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.
hope does exist even if its not a concept in your mind at the moment, you cant just give up because of a boy. think of everything youve been through already in life and have had to endure, r u rly going to end it because one person who doesnt care about you enough to speak to you has a girlfriend? things end n life does go on even if theres a permanent scar on your heart, because trust me i understand how that can be, the scar that stains your heart will only be a reminder not to let it happen again n a boost to get on your feet when you feel the world is against you
Michelle, the fact that you loved means you are not a loser. It means you have much value in this world.
Love is precious and a much sought after emotional commodity. One that cannot be bought, it has to be earned. I regret not knowing this when so was young. Wisdom, so they say, is wasted on the old.
Unfortunately the person you bestowed your love on, didn't appreciate your valued gift. Who is the real loser? The person who had honest love to offer or the one who didn't appreciate it's value and recognize it?
I feel suicidal like a lot now..before i never even thought about it, i was depressed tho n cried so much n did stupid stuff to calm my emotions down!
But i guess now like over a yr my mind is tired..'tired' it's what i always tell people when they ask me how i'm..but little do they know about how i feel soo f***** up..it sucks..depression like really drains your energy out..n then at times i have this empty feeling in my stomach..no idea why but then i start crying randomely!
right now i'm just tryno put up with all of this..n da fact that some people start thinking you want attention cuz i dont tell them what's making me upset..teachers getting worried & calling your parents..n da worst thing of all is i have a big group of friends..n i feel like some of them just sort of ignore me now cuz they dont wanna be depressed or seem dead!
it's lil things like these which make everything even worse..but then maybe i deserve this!
it's soo annoying this for such a long time now...that people telling you that you'r strong doesnt mean anything!
However one thing..i always keep in my mind..what killing maself would leave family & friends condition..so whatever happens i know that sometimes life gets really tough but you need to give it some time n never give up..even if it feels like your whole worlds falling apart!
i agree w your little motto. dnt give up. if your friends dont seem to want you around for a stupid reason like that then they're not your friends lol. things get rly hard but at the end of it all things HAVE to get hard in order for us to appreciate the good crap that happens to us.
I suffer from mental and physical illness and sometimes my chronic depression gets so bad. I don't want to die but I am afraid that I'll might do something. It's like it hijacks my mind and makes me have bad thoughts. I have my mom to support me tho.
I am depressed on the constant. when bad things happen to me im depressed n when good things happen to me im depressed then i feel bad about myself for being depressed. im tired of being surrounded by family that not only doesnt understand me but will not take time to open up n listen to me. anytime they try to n i pour half my little heart out they go straight back to their own method of thinking because i guess what they think is whats set in stone, there's no ifs, ands, or buts. i feel like im being punished for being sad, as if being sad on the constant isn't punishment enough. something was blown up in my life n due to that my parents have now taken away my only two best friends. one friend really helps me take my mind off things n cares for me deeply, the other really helps me go deeper into my thoughts n let off steam n talk about every single thing on my mind, things i cant tell therapists. my family thinks my bestfriends own depression is rubbing off on me. last i checked thats not how it works, people don't just get suicidal because their friends are. my parents are in complete denial of my conditions n so they've cut me off from everything i held dear. now im being forced to become friends with new people whether i want to or not, otherwise ill never see my phone or best friends ever again. i was already struggling before now everythings harder. im just upset they don't understand my anger n sadness. things are what they are n i accept that but im just so tired n sleep isn't the fix. my dad says things like the ones who should be depressed should be the kids in africa n on the streets, how can a person be so oblivious to something so important. i constantly get in trouble for what seems like just breathing. they're frustrated n i get that but they don't get that im frustrated as well. they're soooo sick of me being this way, yea so am i. everyone now who is trying to help me is in it for their own benefits, whether it be less stress, worry, pay, etc. they're trying to shove discipline down my throat now n at this point i feel as though whats going on is they think adding 100 pounds of weight onto the 200 thats already there will cause my knees to give out, ill fold, then stay quiet n put. then i won't be capable of messing things up for me or them anymore. little do they try to know, its not things i do that cause me to be sad its things i think, things i see, things i hear, things i know, my mind. i have a diary n now with no friends to talk to, i write a lot in there. i feel like its so repetitive, i keep saying the same crap over just with different words.
' today was a bad day " " today wasnt the best day " " im so sad today " " im really going to try to make today good " " i dont care about today anymore". thats basically what it is except about multiple things, no matter how much i try to diversify the topics i write about, its all the same. the same sadness, the same mind, the same schedule. im not allowed to do anything to change my schedule either n i dont even want to try. something as simple as going for a walk up my street n back will turn into a whole argument. also at school, something may occasionally slip out that should be concerning like " i wanna die " but that phrase has just become a joke that everyone uses over minor inconveniences so its not taken heavily anymore. part of me believes i use the phrase as a joke but the other part knows im not. i feel bad for this generation, so many kids are depressed n suicidal now its just become a normal thing. on top of writing in my diary i write short stories which helps a little but doesnt last long at all, i draw n write poetry n nothing works. i try to go outside n it feels great till i have to go back inside. i feel chained to this house n i feel chained to a life i dont want to lead. talking to people doesnt work at all, not unless theyre my bestfriends or unless im at my breaking point n if i dnt say something ill explode. lately i havent been acting myself, i say things to people id usually never want them to know, id never want anyone to know even though theyre simple such as " i got my friend taken from me " then after i say something like that i get mad at myself for saying anything. im a 15 year old girl so being treated like crap from guys is just one other knife into my back which has apparently become a target, whovever can get their knife closest to my heart wins. i had a boy i really care about n i know he cares about me but hes going through a rough patch in life right now as am i n doesnt know how to deal with any of his issues, he jus does stupid things to take the pain away n it genuinely sucks that i feel useless in helping him n myself or any of my friends. i feel like im in a cage n the more i press my hands against the walls to get out, the tighter the cage gets. one thing that wont die away is hope in my heart, i have so much hope in people who deserve none, i have hope in my future even though i doubt it will end up swell, i have hope in life even though life has proven over n over that its given up on me. im at a point where i wish i had no hope n i wish i wasnt self aware. having so much hope n being self aware at the same time is the worst thing ever. its like i believe i can still make it towards that one goal but i know with the type of person i am i will never reach that goal n im too drained to do anything about it. in all honesty i have no clue why im doing this, i guess i jus needed something to let steam off n for nobody else to know about it. im not going to kill myself due to people who rely on me but i sure as hell want to sometimes. the loneliness n sadness taunt me every single night, theres no escape, yet the nighttime is the only time everyone is asleep n i can truly be at peace n if im not at peace at least i can cry alone.
I'm sorry that you're going through this. You deserve to be happy. I hope some day soon things get better for you <3
You just voiced my words. This is exactly how i feel right now. Iam amazed to see that there are people out there who feel exactly the way you feel right now. I dont know if I will ever get out of this snare that I am in right now but really hope you do. Just by knowing the fact that you are not alone in what you are going through really makes me feel a lot better. Thanx for speaking it out and pray that you find strength to overcome.
im sorry tht you relate to my post in any way. i know that its not fun. youre never alone in the way you feel, there are billions of people out there at least one is to somewhat understand you. i wish there was a way to privately chat on here so i could give u my info so i could be of more assistance! as a word of advice, try less to find your strength through others but more within yourself and i just recently found out what that truly means too. its months later and i dont think im doing any better but im trying and thats what matters, i hope you keep trying as well love.
haha i appreciate it love, im struggling still as its been months later but am still holding on <3
First I am not suicidal. There were however times it was considered. The last ten years of my employment I was was in great pain but I pushed through the pain, depression, anxiety. My Boss sold the business and I was suddenly jobless. I was 61 too young to retire and unable to work due to pain. My coworkers had covered for me quite a bit. There were no jobs anyway we were in the middle of a recession. My Wife was infuriated. I heard her tell a friend on the phone. I’m not supporting any damn man. Even though that damn man put his heart, soul, and body into helping support her for 30+ years. She worked for the school system. Very low pay but a lot of time off. I had the opposite good pay but long hours on concrete floors, worn out knees, and virtually no time off. Any way she quit at the end of the school term. She had had a couple of bouts with cancer which luckily were caught very early and she was fine. I was told If I had a real disease like cancer she could understand. We are still married for financial reasons. But there is no relationship. There was a time I thought of suicide but started writing what I considered my accomplishments in life. I had done considerable. I was initially a mechianical engineer and developed the ground cooling system for the Apollo Rockets that carried us to the moon and back, a railroad tank car less likely to leak in a derailment and many other things. But manufacturing moved over seas and I went into the auto service business. Becoming Service Manager. That’s were my injuries occurred. I had doubled the size of two houses on weekends and after work with my own two hands so we had room for our two children. I had done quite a lot but the pain was intense and I turned first to alcohol to self medicate. I stopped that and turned to a pain clinic after the job loss. I was given MSER and hydrocodone for breakthrough pain. Then the first opioid crises hit and the DEA or CDC I’m not sure who but they put a lot of pressure on the Clinic. Through a misunderstanding I was taken off the MSER and went through cold turkey withdrawals. I returned to the pain Clinic and was put on Fentaynal Patches but quickly built a tolerance so I explained to the Dr. He weaned me off that and things had cooled down so I returned to just MSER. I had lost 100 lbs on the Fentanyl and wanted to go as low as possible but I went too low as I put 45 lbs back on. Now we are in another opioid crisis and I need to increase my daily dose by one pill they cannot do that as I also take Xanax for anexiety. Which I had all along but the Clinic fears the DEA which I understand. So I am not suicidal as I realized I didn’t waste my life but am labeled as a drug addict by my wife who attends NarcAno classes to help her cope with “my” problem. I’ve never harmed her or anyone and have no desire to do so but she does not understand there are very real medical problems besides cancer. Knee replacement was of course recommended but I fear that as it is so invasive and I have a propensity to infection in my lower legs for some reason. Probably poor circulation in that area as I am a big man 245 lbs. so rather than risk loss of my lower limbs or possibly septic infection I chose to take a few pills a day and cope with tolerable pain levels. Sorry for the length of this but I suspect others can relate. My ultimate point is suicide is not the answer you are worth something to us if no one else. Regardless of you circumstances.
Thank you for your post. I'm struggling and exhausted. I'm making the decision daily. Don't want to cause my family the pain that I know all too well, but often think I'm causing them grief watching me deconstruct from the man I used to be.