What to Do if You Want To Kill Yourself & Feel Suicidal

What to Know About Suicidal Ideation

What Is Suicidal Ideation?

Suicidal ideation is when you think about killing yourself. This could mean that someone is actively planning and considering suicide, or it could mean that someone is so overwhelmed that they just don’t want to go on. It’s estimated that about 9% of the general population experience suicidal thoughts, and around 5% of people between the ages of 18 and 25.

Those with health issues or other major life challenges are even more likely to deal with suicidal thoughts. Situational stressors like military service or being discriminated against can increase your risk of suicidal ideation, as can diagnoses of chronic pain, traumatic brain injury, substance abuse disorder, depression, bipolar disorder, and more.

Passive suicidal ideation is when a person wishes to be dead or hopes that it will happen soon but doesn’t make any plans to make it happen. This could look like crawling into bed for the night and hoping that you don’t wake up in the morning. This could look like thinking about how you wouldn’t have to face your problems if you were gone. It could also look like feeling so tired that you wish you could just “sleep forever.” Essentially, you may not necessarily want to die, but you do not want to live your life either.

Active suicidal ideation is when a person not only wants to die but fully intends to and may even already have plans for how to do it. While both are cause for concern and treatment, if you are having suicidal thoughts that include details about how you would commit the act, it’s important that you talk to someone ASAP. Please reach out to a Hope Coach today, or call 988 for support and 911 if you’re in immediate danger.

Do You Feel Suicidal Right Now?

I know life can be hard and problems can pile so high that we cannot see a way out. I want to give you some practical ideas to try when you are at the depth of despair and feeling overwhelmed and hopeless. When you feel suicidal, please try these four steps.

When you have lost hope and believe suicide is the only way out, please try these four ideas:

1. Reach Out for Help

I understand that finding the strength to do this can be really hard, especially if you also feel alone, but suicide prevention services are available to help.

What Is a Contract for Life Partner?

Every person who is even remotely thinking of suicide, should have a Contract for Life partner. A Contract for Life partner is someone you trust and who understands you. This is someone you make a commitment to that says, I promise that if I have serious thoughts of killing myself, I will talk with you or with someone else I trust before I do anything destructive.

John is a survivor and here is his advice, "Don’t keep quiet if you are going to hurt yourself or others…please speak up. If you are feeling suicidal then talk to someone, don’t keep quiet about it. There is someone out there who will listen to you."

Keely said she has an older friend she calls when she feels suicidal thoughts coming on: I told her everything. And I told her that I need her help. Sometimes I just call to hear her voice to know I'm not alone. Other times, I ask if we can get together. She doesn't grill me, she's just there for me.

A Contract for Life partner is priceless because you can meet with them face to face or talk on the phone anytime. If you do not have one, please make it a priority to go looking for one today.

2. Refer to your Safety Plan

Take time right now to print out the Prevention Checklist and fill in the blanks of the Suicide Safety Plan. Then, whenever you have depression and suicidal thoughts, you can pull out your plan and follow what you have written down.

3. Remove whatever can harm you at that very moment

If there are guns, knives, and pills in your house, then RUN from your house. Get away from anything you can use to hurt yourself. This will buy you time to settle down and begin to think rationally. Some people are most suicidal when they are drunk.

Have someone you know, and trust clear all those things out of your house.

Wendelin said she was suicidal for over three years but was helped by knowing she wasn't alone:  I had a friend who was there for me no matter what. I tried to push this friend away so many times, she took away the knives and scissors I'd cut with, my dad's diving knife, my grandpa's gun, and the hose and rope so I couldn't hang myself. Even though I was so mad at her for it, I knew she cared and that she really did love me.

Glory wrote: I tried a couple of times but it never really worked. Then one night I realized something. If you can't change it, get over it. There are much better things to do in life than sit around hating life. God gave us life so we should use it. Killing yourself is only running away from your problems. It won't help one bit.

4. Turn to other Activities

The key here is to get your mind off of doing the unthinkable. If you are near suicide, you want to change the subject, or divert your mind from what you were planning to do. Walk, jog, bike, swim, take a nap, take a hot shower, watch a movie, listen to music, read a book, do household chores, clean, go shopping, go to the park, volunteer at an animal shelter for a few hours – An excuse to play with puppies? Yes, please! Anything that has the potential to help you lift your spirit.

Kelsey discovered this worked for her: I actually went and got a knife to kill myself and I just stopped and I was thinking this really isn't solving my problems is it? So I just decided to try to get into something like hip-hop classes, get my mind off my life, and just try to live life to the fullest.

You were made for more.

I know it feels like life will never get better, but I believe that you can get to the other side of this pain. I believe you were created for more than what you are feeling right now. God designed you in His image. He breathed life into you. He KNOWS you and LOVES you and has a purpose for your life.  It may not FEEL that way, but we can't always trust our feelings.

There is a man in the Bible who God says was a man after his heart. His name was David.  Yet David struggled with his feelings a lot. Read the book of Psalms and you will see what I am talking about.  For example, here is what King David said in Psalm 6:6-9, "All night I flood my bed with weeping, drenching it with my tears. My vision is blurred by grief; my eyes are worn out because of all my enemies. Go away, all you who do evil, for the Lord has heard my weeping. The Lord has heard my plea; the Lord will answer my prayer."  Here are other Bible verses to encourage you - Verses of Hope when Struggling with Suicidal Thoughts
There are many more articles on TheHopeLine regarding suicide and we want you to know you are not alone. You matter, you are good enough and you are loved.

If you or a friend need support right now, chat on-line with a Hope Coach, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988, for free confidential, 24/7 help. Head here for a list of crisis centers around the world. For additional help, please visit the suicide prevention resource page.

Dawson McAllister
Dawson McAllister, also known as America's youth pastor, was an author, radio host, speaker, and founder of TheHopeLine. McAllister attended Bethel College in Minnesota for undergraduate work where he graduated in 1968, began graduate studies at Talbot School of Theology in California, and received an honorary doctorate from Biola University.
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672 comments on “What to Do if You Want To Kill Yourself & Feel Suicidal”

  1. I don't feel strong anymore I feel so broken that I welcome death but I am not able to kill myself I can't do it but I feel like I want to die I feel worthless and there is no use in me being here and that no one loves me and I hate myself as well and I have real bad anxiety I just keep questioning my existence

    1. Sade, You are valuable and worthy. When we are in so much pain and we hate ourselves it’s hard to understand how valuable and worthy we truly are. You are amazing and you may not realize it, but God does love you and He does accept you. He is close to the broken-hearted. “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed. Psalm 34:18” He knows your pain, He knows the anxiety you deal with and he loves you, just the way you are. The Lord can break your chains of self-hate and you can be free to love yourself just the way you are. how about chatting online with one of our HopeCoaches tonight at https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/
      If you need help right now, call or chat with the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or Suicide Prevention Lifeline Chat or you can reach the Crisis Text Line 27/7 by texting “Start” to 741-741
      You can also find counseling through our partner at https://www.thehopeline.com/partners/focus-on-the-family/
      We also think you would benefit from having an email mentor. It would be a someone that you can email back and for with for as long as like about anything. To sign up for an email mentor go to: https://www.thehopeline.com/emailmentors/
      If you believe in prayer and would like to be part of a community that is praying LIVE for you on Facebook you can find out more here: https://www.thehopeline.com/theprayershow/

  2. (Sorry for the long read) I've had a pretty bad childhood, i was abused and harrased up until i was 13 yrs old moved after 6 grade came to an end while being bulied in school all my life. Which made me feel pretty suicidal and depresded until i met my boyfriend at the age of 18 which is the only reason why im still alive. Now im 20 years old but sadly still live with my mother. The way things are going now I feel like i dont belong and i am a mistake to a few of my family members.
    Wich ocasionally makes me depressed and suicidal but not as much because i made a promise to my boyfriend i'd stay alive.
    But im afraid i might slip up and kill my self someday due to how things are going. Im also afraid of telling my mother how i feel because im afraid to speak , i am afraid that she wont listen or i'll get in trouble or get yelled at for speaking my own mind.

  3. I have not had a bad childhood but I have not had the best one, My Parents have sworn at me called me depressed, slapped me, taunted me and told me I am worthless and that I never do what they ask when I live by their rules. I CAN'T SEEM TO CONTROL MY FEELINGS. It is 30/01/2019 and I have finally have had enough,and want to commit suicide. This is my end. GOODBYE

    1. Erin, You are not alone. We are here to help and listen. You matter and your life is valuable. PLEASE STAY. We care and dealing with your strong emotions is important. You have made the first step by reaching out for help and to talk. It takes a lot of courage to admit that things are not right and that you need help. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with a private number to our partner that will help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.

  4. I feel lonely most of the time even though I have so many friends around me... Sometimes I feel drowning... I am shouting out for help but nobody is hearing me.... Boy wanna date me but they are not see me for who I am... They just wanna take advantage... I am struggling a lot... i feel like I wanna give up and give in... Today i just typed in google "Help I am going to suicide..." I wish someone can hear me. I wish all the people who are around me really care for me. I wish the guys who said they have a crush on me will reach out to me... I wish my parents will... I wish my sister will.. before it's too late...

    1. Light, We are here to listen and we hear you. We are proud of you for reaching out to talk. You are worthy and you matter. It's important that you talk to your parents and let them know how you're feeling. Let them know that you are lonely and you feel like no one cares. Encourage them to take you to the doctor to talk about some possible issues with depression. Talking to a therapist about how you're feeling will help too. They will give you some coping mechanisms to help you through this. Please check out our topic pages on Depression and Loneliness. There are articles, podcasts and stories from others that may help you.
      Depression: https://www.thehopeline.com/topics/depression/
      Loneliness: https://www.thehopeline.com/topics/loneliness/
      We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.

  5. I thought about to kill myself many times, but there is dear God and his light, there is something that stoped me every time, I swear. I don't know anymore, I wish this didn't happened to me and anyone Else. I'll Pray more and more for myself and all of you people here and in the world that are struggling with Depression and anxiety or any Mental disorder/problem.I hope that all people will find someone who will love them endlessly,be happy and never struggle Again. I hope that love and peace that you DESERVE will find you and never leave you. Peace and I love yall. ❤Stay strong. We got this.

    1. I feel alone in the world . I have pdst mental health issues! Am I feel like not being here am trying ever.day to stay strong for my boys but I dont.feel.part of notting... Am loss

      1. I feel alone too. I am part of a large family but always feel alone. Depression, anxiety. But killing oneself is not the answer. I don't have the answer but focus on being there for your boys. Take things one step at a time and hopefully you will begin to feel better. Take joy from them.

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