What to Do if You Want To Kill Yourself & Feel Suicidal

What to Know About Suicidal Ideation

What Is Suicidal Ideation?

Suicidal ideation is when you think about killing yourself. This could mean that someone is actively planning and considering suicide, or it could mean that someone is so overwhelmed that they just don’t want to go on. It’s estimated that about 9% of the general population experience suicidal thoughts, and around 5% of people between the ages of 18 and 25.

Those with health issues or other major life challenges are even more likely to deal with suicidal thoughts. Situational stressors like military service or being discriminated against can increase your risk of suicidal ideation, as can diagnoses of chronic pain, traumatic brain injury, substance abuse disorder, depression, bipolar disorder, and more.

Passive suicidal ideation is when a person wishes to be dead or hopes that it will happen soon but doesn’t make any plans to make it happen. This could look like crawling into bed for the night and hoping that you don’t wake up in the morning. This could look like thinking about how you wouldn’t have to face your problems if you were gone. It could also look like feeling so tired that you wish you could just “sleep forever.” Essentially, you may not necessarily want to die, but you do not want to live your life either.

Active suicidal ideation is when a person not only wants to die but fully intends to and may even already have plans for how to do it. While both are cause for concern and treatment, if you are having suicidal thoughts that include details about how you would commit the act, it’s important that you talk to someone ASAP. Please reach out to a Hope Coach today, or call 988 for support and 911 if you’re in immediate danger.

Do You Feel Suicidal Right Now?

I know life can be hard and problems can pile so high that we cannot see a way out. I want to give you some practical ideas to try when you are at the depth of despair and feeling overwhelmed and hopeless. When you feel suicidal, please try these four steps.

When you have lost hope and believe suicide is the only way out, please try these four ideas:

1. Reach Out for Help

I understand that finding the strength to do this can be really hard, especially if you also feel alone, but suicide prevention services are available to help.

What Is a Contract for Life Partner?

Every person who is even remotely thinking of suicide, should have a Contract for Life partner. A Contract for Life partner is someone you trust and who understands you. This is someone you make a commitment to that says, I promise that if I have serious thoughts of killing myself, I will talk with you or with someone else I trust before I do anything destructive.

John is a survivor and here is his advice, "Don’t keep quiet if you are going to hurt yourself or others…please speak up. If you are feeling suicidal then talk to someone, don’t keep quiet about it. There is someone out there who will listen to you."

Keely said she has an older friend she calls when she feels suicidal thoughts coming on: I told her everything. And I told her that I need her help. Sometimes I just call to hear her voice to know I'm not alone. Other times, I ask if we can get together. She doesn't grill me, she's just there for me.

A Contract for Life partner is priceless because you can meet with them face to face or talk on the phone anytime. If you do not have one, please make it a priority to go looking for one today.

2. Refer to your Safety Plan

Take time right now to print out the Prevention Checklist and fill in the blanks of the Suicide Safety Plan. Then, whenever you have depression and suicidal thoughts, you can pull out your plan and follow what you have written down.

3. Remove whatever can harm you at that very moment

If there are guns, knives, and pills in your house, then RUN from your house. Get away from anything you can use to hurt yourself. This will buy you time to settle down and begin to think rationally. Some people are most suicidal when they are drunk.

Have someone you know, and trust clear all those things out of your house.

Wendelin said she was suicidal for over three years but was helped by knowing she wasn't alone:  I had a friend who was there for me no matter what. I tried to push this friend away so many times, she took away the knives and scissors I'd cut with, my dad's diving knife, my grandpa's gun, and the hose and rope so I couldn't hang myself. Even though I was so mad at her for it, I knew she cared and that she really did love me.

Glory wrote: I tried a couple of times but it never really worked. Then one night I realized something. If you can't change it, get over it. There are much better things to do in life than sit around hating life. God gave us life so we should use it. Killing yourself is only running away from your problems. It won't help one bit.

4. Turn to other Activities

The key here is to get your mind off of doing the unthinkable. If you are near suicide, you want to change the subject, or divert your mind from what you were planning to do. Walk, jog, bike, swim, take a nap, take a hot shower, watch a movie, listen to music, read a book, do household chores, clean, go shopping, go to the park, volunteer at an animal shelter for a few hours – An excuse to play with puppies? Yes, please! Anything that has the potential to help you lift your spirit.

Kelsey discovered this worked for her: I actually went and got a knife to kill myself and I just stopped and I was thinking this really isn't solving my problems is it? So I just decided to try to get into something like hip-hop classes, get my mind off my life, and just try to live life to the fullest.

You were made for more.

I know it feels like life will never get better, but I believe that you can get to the other side of this pain. I believe you were created for more than what you are feeling right now. God designed you in His image. He breathed life into you. He KNOWS you and LOVES you and has a purpose for your life.  It may not FEEL that way, but we can't always trust our feelings.

There is a man in the Bible who God says was a man after his heart. His name was David.  Yet David struggled with his feelings a lot. Read the book of Psalms and you will see what I am talking about.  For example, here is what King David said in Psalm 6:6-9, "All night I flood my bed with weeping, drenching it with my tears. My vision is blurred by grief; my eyes are worn out because of all my enemies. Go away, all you who do evil, for the Lord has heard my weeping. The Lord has heard my plea; the Lord will answer my prayer."  Here are other Bible verses to encourage you - Verses of Hope when Struggling with Suicidal Thoughts
There are many more articles on TheHopeLine regarding suicide and we want you to know you are not alone. You matter, you are good enough and you are loved.

If you or a friend need support right now, chat on-line with a Hope Coach, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988, for free confidential, 24/7 help. Head here for a list of crisis centers around the world. For additional help, please visit the suicide prevention resource page.

Dawson McAllister
Dawson McAllister, also known as America's youth pastor, was an author, radio host, speaker, and founder of TheHopeLine. McAllister attended Bethel College in Minnesota for undergraduate work where he graduated in 1968, began graduate studies at Talbot School of Theology in California, and received an honorary doctorate from Biola University.
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672 comments on “What to Do if You Want To Kill Yourself & Feel Suicidal”

  1. My future is untenable, and I am so tired of trying meds, therapy, etc. I am not interested in recovering. I won't go into the details of why I feel this way, as they are irrelevant. Going into details means someone else can pass judgement on whether my intense, relentless, suicidal outlook is justified or not. Compared to who? I am me, I'm not somebody else. I've been living in this mental hell for a couple of years now, and I understand the root cause of my problem. I'm not interested in pep talks, advice on mindfulness, yoga, a miracle treatment that's just around the corner... I'm a mature, competent individual, and I would appreciate some compassion (e.g. peaceful end of life - on my terms and schedule) and support, to alleviate my suffering. I've tried dozens of times to take action, but I can't find an acceptable means, as the means that are easily accessible to me are painful, brutal, and would traumatize others. And the possibility of feeling better at some future date, so what? Living like this is not worth any amount of future enjoyment. Trust me on this. This is nonsense, if I take an early exit, I have no ability to regret taking an early exit. I'm OK with that. Sorry I can't be more hopeful. Does anyone else feel this way? For those who do, make sure you've tried to feel better before you resign yourself to this fate. For others, try to understand or at least empathize with, those of us who feel this way.

  2. im 13 years old have a lot going on in my life I have a lot to get out of me but I think of killing myself because of what is going on in my life I would love for some help thank you.

    1. Angel, First of all, you can get through this! You are not alone. We are here to help you It sounds like you are carrying a huge burden. Talking about what is going on in your life that is making you feel this way is important. A HopeCoach would love to listen and help you through this. You can chat with a HopeCoach at https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/ Also, we have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We are emailing you some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.

  3. I’m a fifteen-year-old and I was my grandfather's primary caregiver for at least 7 years. We had to take him to the hospital one day and after this, he was never the same he recently died. I feel like I have nothing to live for, I feel like I was already slightly depressed but recently I feel as if my depression and anxiety has quickly plummeted. My medication barely works. I tried to jump in front of a car and was 10 inches from death I have also severely cut my self on multiple occasions, and I also recently had to go to a mental hospital to keep me from killing myself. I have nothing in this world anymore and I’ve tried to find articles or survivor stories that could maybe help me but they all say the same crap about how I am wanted, I am loved, or some other dumb sh*t like this. I understand that all of those people are trying their best yet it won’t work I’m most likely going to end it all sometime next month, but I still try my hardest to find a reason to live. I most likely will never accomplish anything but that’s okay I’ll probably die in some gruesome way anyway so why not just end it all right now. Well I hope someone looks at this and sees how a child’s life could be ruined by abuse, grief, and neglect maybe it’ll change someone’s life but I highly doubt that. Well I guess this is goodbye for me, hmmm I thought it would be hard to think I could actually go through with it but I’ve been hurt so much I don’t think I feel pain.

    1. Matthew, You are going through extreme grief, right now and we understand that it feels like you will always feel this way. Especially going through the abuse and neglect you mentioned too. You mentioned your meds barely work...it's important that you tell your doctor or an adult about this. While you are going through this extreme time of grief perhaps your doctor can adjust them. We know you don't want to hear all the things that people say, however, we do care and we want you to get through this tragic time in your life. Would you chat online with one of our HopeCoaches today? https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/ Also, here is an article that is on one of our partner sites, it may help you: https://issuesiface.com/magazine/suicide-giving-life-another-chance We have another partner that you can help you through your thoughts of suicide. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.

    2. Im hurting badly inside but Who promised death would end suffering? I dreamt a man was suffering internally and jumped off a bridge. I looked over and saw his soul screaming in agony what did I do while his body bleed out. He found no resolve only worse pain. Being alive hurts sometimes but it comes with a chance to change. You may have to fight for it but the universe will respect your choice and ur life will get better. Keep trying to quit and youll keep finding reasons why you should. GOD bless

  4. When I feel the way I feel right now, NOTHING helps, and all this crap about mattering, being important, being cared about and there being hope is complete BULLS**T. It's ridiculous and unhelpful and makes me hate myself even more. I am a stupid, dumb, c**t wh**re b***h, unlovable, unlikable, worthless, useless, hopeless, aging and getting fat and ugly. My checking account is $350 overdrawn, and I have zero savings, zero retirement, zero life insurance, $50,000 in student loan debt I will NEVER be able to repay, no job, can't pay rent, and will be homeless within a week. I am about to lose every possession I have except my dog (my cat went missing a week ago). A friend agreed to take my dog so that he isn't homeless, but isn't willing to let me stay with her even though she has a big, beautiful house with an extra bedroom and two large, separate living areas with multiple full-size couches, any one of which I'd be willing to sleep on. I'd set up a tent in the backyard if she'd let me. I am too depressed to shower, brush my teeth, walk my dog, or clean my house and too anxious to apply for jobs. I have had multiple concussions and have lost a lot of cognitive functioning, so I will never be able to have a professional career position again. My depression and anxiety are debilitating even though I am on medications. Counseling doesn't help. I have done three intensive outpatient programs, and they were all COMPLETE WASTE of time and money. I self-harm brutally (cut through two layers of muscle in my arm in a rage of self-hatred and pain; heated up a metal skewer in the oven and repeated burned myself in the same spot on my thigh, then rubbed dog sh*t into the third degree burn because that's what I DESERVE). I hit myself repeatedly in the head with hardcover books and shoes so hard I see stars. I hit myself on the arms and legs with a hammer or other hard objects. I cut severely and deeply. And you idiots want to tell me I am cared about, that I matter, and that there is hope? WHAT hope? My best option is to kill myself in a remote area of my beloved Rocky Mountains and let the animals take care of my corpse because who is going to pay to bury me when I have no life insurance or other assets? If I stay alive, I will die homeless and probably in a really ugly way. Even if I somehow manage to rally and get a job and not be homeless, when I can't live alone anymore, I will go into a nasty, horrible low-income nursing home and die alone. I have no children and will never have children, which also means no grandchildren. I wanted marriage and children.
    You smiling happy delusional people are going to send me the same response you send to everyone else, and it is going to make me sick and angry and hateful because you are in denial and are trying to fight logical. I FEEL bad emotionally and mentally. I am in pain. I also see things very rationally and view my options logically. I feel like I can't go on, and I see what any intelligent and reasonable person can see, which is that there is no reason for me to stay alive.

    1. Dear Jill, We are sorry for our delay in replying to you. Everyone deserves help and everyone deserves to be told that they matter and that they are worthy no matter how they feel about their selves. You matter and you are valuable! You are dealing with a lot. The debt and mental health challenges you mentioned are leading you to feel hopeless. You are not out of options. There is hope. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too. Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources. You can chat online with one of our HopeCoaches too at https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

  5. I hate my looks and myself in general and my brother, closest dogs, and my two grandpas died a little while ago and my parents don’t have time for me and I’m treated unfairly compared to my sister and I compare myself to other people and I just overall hate myself and I think that if I died no one would really care and I’m sick of being called horrible names by jerks all the time it’s better if I was dead...

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