Breaking up with your boyfriend or girlfriend is hard to do. But it's even more difficult when your ex won't leave you alone after the breakup. I figure there are at least two different reasons why an ex won't let go. Either they want to get back together with you, or they are just trying to get back at you.
When they don't get the message your relationship is over, you will have to clarify again exactly how you feel.
Clarify the Message that the Relationship is Over
When they don't get the message your relationship is over, you will have to clarify again exactly how you feel. Try not to approach this difficult issue when you're frustrated or angry. However, the more clear and direct you can be, the better. But remember, always be kind. Sooner or later, your ex will get the message.
Clarify the Boundaries
It is important to establish boundaries for yourself. While you're working on letting things cool down between you and your ex, try to avoid places and situations where you know he/she might be. If it gets to a point where you are continually made to feel uncomfortable, it might become necessary to talk directly to him/her again. Be prepared to say exactly what he/she is doing and how it makes you feel.
You might even want to take a friend with you when you talk to him/her. You need to be confident in this situation, as your ex might be looking for hope that you want to get back together. This is the time to be firm because you really want them to get the message. This is not the time or argue or fight. You are merely communicating your boundaries.
You may be tempted to go back into the relationship because you think you remember how good it felt to have somebody.
Get Back into a Relationship with an Ex?
You may be tempted to go back into the relationship because you think you remember how good it felt to have somebody. This is especially true if you have been sexual with each other, or you feel sorry for the other person. If you have one or two close friends, tell them why you are breaking up with your ex and ask them to remind you why you broke up when you start thinking about getting back together again.
Listen to my call with Vanessa who's pregnant and still has feelings for her baby's father who cheated on her and pulled a knife on her mom.
I also talked to Ty who says: My bf is an alcoholic, drug abuser and other things. But I don't know how to break up with him because every time I try to he gets VERY suicidal. I have to stay with him but I can't because it hurts me too much seeing him like this. I asked him to stop drinking and he said he would, but he hasn't, and I'm afraid that if he keeps doing this it's going to get to where he might hurt me.
Act Like an Adult and Firmly End It
Kalya says it's been three months since she left her boyfriend and he continues to provoke her. Her advice is priceless: When it's time to let go, do it, there can be no comparing or second-guessing, it just has to be done, especially if you are unhappy and worry all the time. You should not have to babysit your lover.
By communicating firmly and directly, you are acting like an adult. This kind of behavior will lead your ex to increase their respect for you, and finally get the message that you are no longer interested in having a relationship with them.
Are You in Danger From Your Stalking Ex?
If you feel like your situation is dangerous, please tell someone...a parent, trusted advisor, principal, friend or even the police. Sometimes serious measures must be taken to free yourself from a troubled ex. Don't wait until it's too late.
Listen to my call with Candice. The father of Candice's son hit her mom and won't leave her alone. She has a restraining order against him but he keeps trying to come to her house and he's called her over 200 times in the past month.
Be Strong
You don't need to face this struggle alone. God promises that He is with us and will help us whatever the struggle. He tells us to be strong and not afraid because HE IS WITH US.
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9
Don't back down from what you know is right for you. Ask God to give you the strength you need.
Mine threatens to hurt meor anyonre im ever to meet. Hes cheated. Thats why were not together. Leaves me horrible voicemails. Telling me hiw stupid iam, and threatening. I have him blocked it still goes to voicemail. How can i stop that
Jennifer, I'm unsure how to stop getting his voicemails. I blocked my ex on my phone and any social media app I have, but IF he calls, it goes straight to voicemail. Since I recognize the phone number, I just delete it rather than listen to the message because I know what this one will say based on his past ones. Fortunately, he's stopped contacting me.
I didn't know if you're still having this problem, but I had to shut off my voicemail completely. Been being harassed for a year now over a nine month relationship. What's worse is that I'm 21 and the guy is 35. He's acting relatively immature and clingy, let alone the fact that he raped me twice and was abusive... Turn off your voicemail for a while, it helps.
Ohh and another thing about the stuff is its just very annoying. Its like if you want to leave and dont want me bothering you then just give me my stuff and go. But she ignores it so i stopped asking for a while
What does it mean when my ex girl friend broke up with me but holds my stuff and wont give it back. We moved all the way across the country together also.
I recently broke up wit my boyfriend.. He's been my best friend in the past but we've officially been together for a yr... I've decided to end it bcuz every day was a fight I had no space I was jus trap.. He hasn't given up trying to get back and he won't stop bothering he lives rite next door how do I deal wit him
I'm in the exact same position! It's not like you can avoid them and I do care about him so don't want to be horrible (also cuz he lives next door probably not the best idea!) I have found that it's best to become like a stuck record.. Just keep telling him you want to be alone and don't feel the same anymore. I mean if he gets threatening or abusive then you could notify the authorities but as you e still gotta live next door I'm avoiding that as could make things really bad.. I'm looking at trying to move.. But yeah it's a tough one isn't it!? Good luck and let me know what happens
My ex and I broke up almost 6 months ago. We had been together for 9 years, and I have been through a whole lot with him. We had a lot of ups and downs and I gave him more chances than he deserved. I was tired, so very tired. Well, I found someone else that I'm really interested in. I told my ex out of respect and that I thought it would be best if we stopped talking, but he lost it. I've never cheated or been unfaithful, but my ex has, which is why we aren't together anymore. He's being very possessive now, and has gotten to the point of begging and pleading with me to give him another chance, but I don't want to do that. I told him, and stood firm in my decision, but he won't leave me alone now. Sometimes he'll even show up to my home unannounced. He's even threatened me by saying "you really want me to end my life, don't you?" I don't know what to do... Advice?
Why weren't you married ?
I was 6 years with my ex and as you did I gave him more chances than he deserved,but one of us had to end the relationship and I saw that from his part he wasn't going to do it with how bad he treated me. I decided to stand my ground and say enough is enough. Once you realize you're ok without having someone you get used to being back to square one peaceful and happy without someone. If he is threatening to end his life, I advice for you to notify one of his family members or close friends what he is doing. You're not responsible if he kills himself over you,your chapter with him is over. He is using that method to try to manipulate you,stay firm and don't let your heart bend over his manipulation.Whatever happens remember it's not your fault. He needs to move on.
Fortunately, I haven't heard from him in a couple months now, so I'm sure he got the message to leave me alone. That saves me a ton of stress, but thank you for the advice! I'm also transferring apartments so he doesn't know where I live anymore (it also saves me a bit of money on rent, so hooray!).
I'm glad he's not bugging you anymore.