Breaking up with your boyfriend or girlfriend is hard to do. But it's even more difficult when your ex won't leave you alone after the breakup. I figure there are at least two different reasons why an ex won't let go. Either they want to get back together with you, or they are just trying to get back at you.
When they don't get the message your relationship is over, you will have to clarify again exactly how you feel.
Clarify the Message that the Relationship is Over
When they don't get the message your relationship is over, you will have to clarify again exactly how you feel. Try not to approach this difficult issue when you're frustrated or angry. However, the more clear and direct you can be, the better. But remember, always be kind. Sooner or later, your ex will get the message.
Clarify the Boundaries
It is important to establish boundaries for yourself. While you're working on letting things cool down between you and your ex, try to avoid places and situations where you know he/she might be. If it gets to a point where you are continually made to feel uncomfortable, it might become necessary to talk directly to him/her again. Be prepared to say exactly what he/she is doing and how it makes you feel.
You might even want to take a friend with you when you talk to him/her. You need to be confident in this situation, as your ex might be looking for hope that you want to get back together. This is the time to be firm because you really want them to get the message. This is not the time or argue or fight. You are merely communicating your boundaries.
You may be tempted to go back into the relationship because you think you remember how good it felt to have somebody.
Get Back into a Relationship with an Ex?
You may be tempted to go back into the relationship because you think you remember how good it felt to have somebody. This is especially true if you have been sexual with each other, or you feel sorry for the other person. If you have one or two close friends, tell them why you are breaking up with your ex and ask them to remind you why you broke up when you start thinking about getting back together again.
Listen to my call with Vanessa who's pregnant and still has feelings for her baby's father who cheated on her and pulled a knife on her mom.
I also talked to Ty who says: My bf is an alcoholic, drug abuser and other things. But I don't know how to break up with him because every time I try to he gets VERY suicidal. I have to stay with him but I can't because it hurts me too much seeing him like this. I asked him to stop drinking and he said he would, but he hasn't, and I'm afraid that if he keeps doing this it's going to get to where he might hurt me.
Act Like an Adult and Firmly End It
Kalya says it's been three months since she left her boyfriend and he continues to provoke her. Her advice is priceless: When it's time to let go, do it, there can be no comparing or second-guessing, it just has to be done, especially if you are unhappy and worry all the time. You should not have to babysit your lover.
By communicating firmly and directly, you are acting like an adult. This kind of behavior will lead your ex to increase their respect for you, and finally get the message that you are no longer interested in having a relationship with them.
Are You in Danger From Your Stalking Ex?
If you feel like your situation is dangerous, please tell someone...a parent, trusted advisor, principal, friend or even the police. Sometimes serious measures must be taken to free yourself from a troubled ex. Don't wait until it's too late.
Listen to my call with Candice. The father of Candice's son hit her mom and won't leave her alone. She has a restraining order against him but he keeps trying to come to her house and he's called her over 200 times in the past month.
Be Strong
You don't need to face this struggle alone. God promises that He is with us and will help us whatever the struggle. He tells us to be strong and not afraid because HE IS WITH US.
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9
Don't back down from what you know is right for you. Ask God to give you the strength you need.
My ex boyfriend and I have only dated for about 6-8 months ,we hadrank no problems everything was fine ,then he suddenly broke up with me, to get other the break up I pushed my self to be better then I was and I grew up ,and I got over the relationship that I grew to learn wasn't going anywhere , but after 2 months of being happy again he shows up on my door step of my house that I can't leave from, and tells me he's sorry and wants another chance, I didn't know better and told him I'll be his friend, that didn't work because he was, upset and angry as I talked about other men, he'd want to plan dates, he treated me like a girlfriend again and the final straw was that he wanted to be friends with benefits so I cut all ties, my current problemishes is that he has come back to my door step not even 2months later with the same Jamble and I have a new Boyfriend now who I have talk about these issues from my ex and I don't know what to do I don't think my ex will hurt me but he won't leave me alone or take a hint and keeps coming back saying he loves me and messed up. I need help.
Can someone help me? My ex has lied about me to my girlfriend and is interfering with my relationship..how can I politely ask her to stop communicating with us because I'm fully committed to my girlfriend and don't want past (bad) history haunting my current relationship.
So, I was friends with this guy for a long time, and last year, around May, we got together. Last month, I broke up with him because he was very controlling, and he would accuse me of having relationships with other guys. We would fight because he would lie to me, or he would bring up things from my past, like my exes, or he would just pick a fight with me. It had gotten so bad to the point where he would threaten to confront other dudes if he found out they were talking to me. Every time I would try to break up with him, because he was so emotionally draining, he would cry, like break down in tears. He would promise to get it together, and I would take him back, but he would go back to doing what he was doing. I gave him chance after chance, but it got to the point where I couldn't take it, and I broke up with him. He didn't take it well. He would blow up my phone and blow up my brother's phone. He would follow me around class, and even take me out of class just to talk to me. I was affirmative with him, I even told him that we could be friends, but nothing more. But, it's getting hard to be friends with him. I don't know what to do because I really care about him, but I can't keep doing this to myself. Any advice?
Hi, me and my ex broke up a few months ago. We were engaged and have a baby together. I broke up with him multiple times as we always argued a lot and he was taking drugs but always we managed to find common grounds or he convinced me to get back with him. Sometimes I just wanted him to stop bothering me or felt sorry for him as he did talk about talking his own life. Eventually I couldn't take all the fights anymore packed mine and my babies bags and moved out. We live in a different country now but he continues to email me. Its awful - we start talking about or son, then out of blue he starts apologising for what he did wrong in the past and how he'd want us to be back, of course provided that I would finally “open my eyes and change myself” and then when I tell him that I don't feel the same and am trying to move on he gets all super upset, angry and talks about suicide. Now I just feel sorry for him and just annoyed really. I really dont know how to go about this. I'd like to be able to communicate with him and discuss only stuff related to our son and have him come for visits so our son has an idea of what his biological dad is like but when he comes up with all these issues and eventually starts talking about suicide and stuff I just want to cut fully contact with him altogether. It just doesn't feel right because of our son. I really don't know what to do. On one side I don't want my son to not know him at all but on the other side I really really do not wish to keep getting emails like that from him time and time again. Plus when he does mention things like taking his own life I don't know if I shouldn't inform the police over there?! I messaged his mother to check on him but still I don't want to be in this position...
I broke up with my boyfriend about 6mos ago. I blocked him on Facebook and stopped getting on it for about 5 Mos. When I did log back on I seem a massage in my inbox but it was a reply from my side which I didn't send only saying( I know right lol) sent to him which I had blocked him prior to me giving fb a break. I went to my activity log and seen I was logged in on a different phone and I changed my password. A few days later I got a texts notification saying my Google account was login on a from unfamiliar mobile device . Which I changed that password. He kept calling and texting me so I changed my phone number. Now his fb messages my family asking about me and trying to find out where I'm at has even showed up at places that that I go like hair salon and diners and he will sit outside my apartment in his car or park up the street a watch for me to leave. What should I do he hasn't made any threats toward me yet other than before the break up he stated if I can have you no can.