Breaking up with your boyfriend or girlfriend is hard to do. But it's even more difficult when your ex won't leave you alone after the breakup. I figure there are at least two different reasons why an ex won't let go. Either they want to get back together with you, or they are just trying to get back at you.
When they don't get the message your relationship is over, you will have to clarify again exactly how you feel.
Clarify the Message that the Relationship is Over
When they don't get the message your relationship is over, you will have to clarify again exactly how you feel. Try not to approach this difficult issue when you're frustrated or angry. However, the more clear and direct you can be, the better. But remember, always be kind. Sooner or later, your ex will get the message.
Clarify the Boundaries
It is important to establish boundaries for yourself. While you're working on letting things cool down between you and your ex, try to avoid places and situations where you know he/she might be. If it gets to a point where you are continually made to feel uncomfortable, it might become necessary to talk directly to him/her again. Be prepared to say exactly what he/she is doing and how it makes you feel.
You might even want to take a friend with you when you talk to him/her. You need to be confident in this situation, as your ex might be looking for hope that you want to get back together. This is the time to be firm because you really want them to get the message. This is not the time or argue or fight. You are merely communicating your boundaries.
You may be tempted to go back into the relationship because you think you remember how good it felt to have somebody.
Get Back into a Relationship with an Ex?
You may be tempted to go back into the relationship because you think you remember how good it felt to have somebody. This is especially true if you have been sexual with each other, or you feel sorry for the other person. If you have one or two close friends, tell them why you are breaking up with your ex and ask them to remind you why you broke up when you start thinking about getting back together again.
Listen to my call with Vanessa who's pregnant and still has feelings for her baby's father who cheated on her and pulled a knife on her mom.
I also talked to Ty who says: My bf is an alcoholic, drug abuser and other things. But I don't know how to break up with him because every time I try to he gets VERY suicidal. I have to stay with him but I can't because it hurts me too much seeing him like this. I asked him to stop drinking and he said he would, but he hasn't, and I'm afraid that if he keeps doing this it's going to get to where he might hurt me.
Act Like an Adult and Firmly End It
Kalya says it's been three months since she left her boyfriend and he continues to provoke her. Her advice is priceless: When it's time to let go, do it, there can be no comparing or second-guessing, it just has to be done, especially if you are unhappy and worry all the time. You should not have to babysit your lover.
By communicating firmly and directly, you are acting like an adult. This kind of behavior will lead your ex to increase their respect for you, and finally get the message that you are no longer interested in having a relationship with them.
Are You in Danger From Your Stalking Ex?
If you feel like your situation is dangerous, please tell someone...a parent, trusted advisor, principal, friend or even the police. Sometimes serious measures must be taken to free yourself from a troubled ex. Don't wait until it's too late.
Listen to my call with Candice. The father of Candice's son hit her mom and won't leave her alone. She has a restraining order against him but he keeps trying to come to her house and he's called her over 200 times in the past month.
Be Strong
You don't need to face this struggle alone. God promises that He is with us and will help us whatever the struggle. He tells us to be strong and not afraid because HE IS WITH US.
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9
Don't back down from what you know is right for you. Ask God to give you the strength you need.
I ended my monstrous relationship back in May of this year. My ex doesn't seem to understand how breakups work. He want honest about anything because he was still married but, kept saying his wife cared nothing about him. He also kept asking for money to pay his bills. He didn't want to get a job because he was afraid of losing disability. He was a huge pest most of the time because he would bother me at work knowing I was busy. Now I'm back in track trying to get myself in order but, he just won't stop. I've tried all this. I'm at the moment that I will issue a restraining order against him.
I have just broke up about 20 days before and that guy does not understand this he had putted lots of restrictions on me and i was fed of him because there was no trust between us and no understanding between us .......so i broke up and have moved on but he keeps calling and i cant even block his number because calls on the landline what should i do
My ex was also my neighbor but we were kinda close after the relationship ended i finnaly realised she is not a good person and i just want her to leave me alone we both are going to the same college and occasionally she will text me. I am currently in a new relationship and and so is my ex but she has beem none to cheat and she has given me really bad anxiety issues .Please pardon any spelling issues or lack of detail i am in need of help thank you
I have been seeing someone off/on for 16 yrs. When we are together it's great. No arguing, fighting, we can talk about anything/everything. I am part of his adult children & grandchildrens lives. Then He meets someone on a whim, dates and/or marries them but tries to keep in touch with me on the down low because we are in the same employment fields. When it's over he always comes back to me saying he missed me so much or that we are really good together and he doesn't know why he keeps giving us up. It's good for a few months then he meets someone on the whim again, the cycle starts all over. This time he's been married for 6yrs, left his wife 5mo's ago. Again he called me talking about the future, how we are going to do this and we are going to do that. A few days ago he told me he was getting back with his wife because he deeply misses his 6 yr old daughter. All he kept saying was he had to do it for his daughter and that he was going to miss me so much. I am very tired of this, it hurts too much. I want to cut all ties with him, personal & perfessional, but don't know how. Should I do it in person, over the phone or write him? Your opinions are greatly appreciated.
I would write to him. That way you get it all out without a chance for him to try and talk you round. Think of it as a clean break and being kind to yourself. I was in a similar relationship roundabout and ended things in January, to begin with it hurt, but guess what...I feel fine now, happy even and free of the painful yo-yoing relationship saga. Do this now and you wont regret it, but after you have sent the letter, change your number, and block him, give yourself time to heal and move on, I wish you luck xx
Ive been with this guy for almost 4 yrs. None of this relationship has been pleasant. He is always fighting and argueing with someone if its not his boss its with me. I cant get him to leave and stay gone. He always comes back. I even tried to move myself just leave but i cant just leave state i have children. I did leave town but he found me. I cant afford to just keep moving. I have developed and heart issue, my blood pressure is always too high. And honestly i am at a loss on what to do next. He is spitting in my face pulling my around by my hair trying to provoke me into hitting him. When i finally just have enough and cant cobtrol my reaction he trys to make everyone around think im crazy and i am loosing my mind. Nobody wants to step in and help. He has run everyone off. Nobody comes around or trys to help. They all think that i let him back.. when honestly i dont ever have never wanted him to come back. I have never let him come back. I come home from work one mornin and ge is sitting on the couch watching tv i ask himhow he got in becuase i was sure i locked the door when i left, i find out he climbed in a window. Please what should i di