Breaking up with your boyfriend or girlfriend is hard to do. But it's even more difficult when your ex won't leave you alone after the breakup. I figure there are at least two different reasons why an ex won't let go. Either they want to get back together with you, or they are just trying to get back at you.
When they don't get the message your relationship is over, you will have to clarify again exactly how you feel.
Clarify the Message that the Relationship is Over
When they don't get the message your relationship is over, you will have to clarify again exactly how you feel. Try not to approach this difficult issue when you're frustrated or angry. However, the more clear and direct you can be, the better. But remember, always be kind. Sooner or later, your ex will get the message.
Clarify the Boundaries
It is important to establish boundaries for yourself. While you're working on letting things cool down between you and your ex, try to avoid places and situations where you know he/she might be. If it gets to a point where you are continually made to feel uncomfortable, it might become necessary to talk directly to him/her again. Be prepared to say exactly what he/she is doing and how it makes you feel.
You might even want to take a friend with you when you talk to him/her. You need to be confident in this situation, as your ex might be looking for hope that you want to get back together. This is the time to be firm because you really want them to get the message. This is not the time or argue or fight. You are merely communicating your boundaries.
You may be tempted to go back into the relationship because you think you remember how good it felt to have somebody.
Get Back into a Relationship with an Ex?
You may be tempted to go back into the relationship because you think you remember how good it felt to have somebody. This is especially true if you have been sexual with each other, or you feel sorry for the other person. If you have one or two close friends, tell them why you are breaking up with your ex and ask them to remind you why you broke up when you start thinking about getting back together again.
Listen to my call with Vanessa who's pregnant and still has feelings for her baby's father who cheated on her and pulled a knife on her mom.
I also talked to Ty who says: My bf is an alcoholic, drug abuser and other things. But I don't know how to break up with him because every time I try to he gets VERY suicidal. I have to stay with him but I can't because it hurts me too much seeing him like this. I asked him to stop drinking and he said he would, but he hasn't, and I'm afraid that if he keeps doing this it's going to get to where he might hurt me.
Act Like an Adult and Firmly End It
Kalya says it's been three months since she left her boyfriend and he continues to provoke her. Her advice is priceless: When it's time to let go, do it, there can be no comparing or second-guessing, it just has to be done, especially if you are unhappy and worry all the time. You should not have to babysit your lover.
By communicating firmly and directly, you are acting like an adult. This kind of behavior will lead your ex to increase their respect for you, and finally get the message that you are no longer interested in having a relationship with them.
Are You in Danger From Your Stalking Ex?
If you feel like your situation is dangerous, please tell someone...a parent, trusted advisor, principal, friend or even the police. Sometimes serious measures must be taken to free yourself from a troubled ex. Don't wait until it's too late.
Listen to my call with Candice. The father of Candice's son hit her mom and won't leave her alone. She has a restraining order against him but he keeps trying to come to her house and he's called her over 200 times in the past month.
Be Strong
You don't need to face this struggle alone. God promises that He is with us and will help us whatever the struggle. He tells us to be strong and not afraid because HE IS WITH US.
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9
Don't back down from what you know is right for you. Ask God to give you the strength you need.
My ex and I broke up 2 years ago. It is a long painful story. He ended up calling my dad, my brother and my folks were utterly shocked and disappointed at this. My brother would not talk to me for next 1 year. He was probably angry at me for choosing such a looser, and more angry because my dad was sick and my issues made it worse for the family. My ex, he never treated me well. He'd say he loves me when alone and then won't take my calls or switch the phone off when with friends, or in parties. He was irresponsible, won't work or study. Just going out with friends and fun. TBH, i was already done with him, and on the top of it, he crashed my whole family.
Now two years later, when things are starting to get better with me, he's back (to ruin it all). He calls and texts (mostly on Sunday, when he's got nothing to do) since last 3-4 months which is beyond annoying. I am again loosing sleep over a fool. I don't want my parents and brother to know. Since I don't think they deserve to feel that pain all over again, for this unworthy person. And I read on the internet that "Ignore him" & that's what I am doing. But I am really scared that if I don't stop him this will escalate to something worse. My friends say ignoring will work, but should I wait for him to ruin this one more time?
I left my short relationship of 8 months about a couple months ago but my.ex isn't getting the point. He somehow got into my Gmail account and started to track my every move so I changed the password when I finally found out how he was doing that. He even told me if i didn't stop talking to a guy he would do something. He tries to tell me what to do and who to see and I did try to be friends with him but he rather put me down and call me names so I finally stopped replying to him after telling him i don't want to talk to him ever again and I even changed my number so he wouldn't have it. I have him blocked on my FB as well but he uses his friends fb to contact me and also found me on a dating site to try totalkt but I still don't respond. I found out recently that he went to a bar that he never liked and only went to a couple of times but knew some how I would be there. He didn't approach me but later that night he messaged me saying he saw me there and that I left with someone too. He is stressing me out and I'm not one to call the cops about this situation either.
My ex wont leave me alone to the point where she started hurting herself. She says iif I leave she will go all the way with it and the only way to cure her is to LOVE her. But I havent been right since 2015, after my Mom died I needed space from people and places she didn't understand. She showed up to my spot and never left . She said she would call the Police on me if I get a restraining order. I have been talking to other women just because I'm not happy with my current. But I get in more trouble if she finds out, how because she goes through all my phone records. She shows up to my job anywhere I am, the only time we don't argue is if tell her positive affirmations. I dont know what to do I want out. Ive wanted out , but she really put herself in the hospital messing with me
I am in love with a girl who broke up with her boyfriend who she has been in relationship for nearly 10 years, her ex doesn't accept the break up and he keeps on nagging her, he even enters her home uninvited. How much she tries he still wants her back but she is done with him, she wants loves me too but she can't accept me yet cause he keeps threatening her that he will kill anyone who comes into her life, what should be done? Please give some advice fast, it's urgent.
Call the Police on him and/or get a restraining order. That is not right, and if he is threatening to kill people for getting close and forcing himself into her life and home, he really needs to be dealt with by an authority.
I ended my relationship with my ex 5 yrs ago... And the worst thing I ever did was remain friends "Big No" he still acted as I was his gf like we had some type of rules it was awful I hated seem like I wasted time... The only thing I was doing was blocking my happiness and seeking other potential men that could have been that guy... I finally release the dead weight off my shoulders