Breaking up with your boyfriend or girlfriend is hard to do. But it's even more difficult when your ex won't leave you alone after the breakup. I figure there are at least two different reasons why an ex won't let go. Either they want to get back together with you, or they are just trying to get back at you.
When they don't get the message your relationship is over, you will have to clarify again exactly how you feel.
Clarify the Message that the Relationship is Over
When they don't get the message your relationship is over, you will have to clarify again exactly how you feel. Try not to approach this difficult issue when you're frustrated or angry. However, the more clear and direct you can be, the better. But remember, always be kind. Sooner or later, your ex will get the message.
Clarify the Boundaries
It is important to establish boundaries for yourself. While you're working on letting things cool down between you and your ex, try to avoid places and situations where you know he/she might be. If it gets to a point where you are continually made to feel uncomfortable, it might become necessary to talk directly to him/her again. Be prepared to say exactly what he/she is doing and how it makes you feel.
You might even want to take a friend with you when you talk to him/her. You need to be confident in this situation, as your ex might be looking for hope that you want to get back together. This is the time to be firm because you really want them to get the message. This is not the time or argue or fight. You are merely communicating your boundaries.
You may be tempted to go back into the relationship because you think you remember how good it felt to have somebody.
Get Back into a Relationship with an Ex?
You may be tempted to go back into the relationship because you think you remember how good it felt to have somebody. This is especially true if you have been sexual with each other, or you feel sorry for the other person. If you have one or two close friends, tell them why you are breaking up with your ex and ask them to remind you why you broke up when you start thinking about getting back together again.
Listen to my call with Vanessa who's pregnant and still has feelings for her baby's father who cheated on her and pulled a knife on her mom.
I also talked to Ty who says: My bf is an alcoholic, drug abuser and other things. But I don't know how to break up with him because every time I try to he gets VERY suicidal. I have to stay with him but I can't because it hurts me too much seeing him like this. I asked him to stop drinking and he said he would, but he hasn't, and I'm afraid that if he keeps doing this it's going to get to where he might hurt me.
Act Like an Adult and Firmly End It
Kalya says it's been three months since she left her boyfriend and he continues to provoke her. Her advice is priceless: When it's time to let go, do it, there can be no comparing or second-guessing, it just has to be done, especially if you are unhappy and worry all the time. You should not have to babysit your lover.
By communicating firmly and directly, you are acting like an adult. This kind of behavior will lead your ex to increase their respect for you, and finally get the message that you are no longer interested in having a relationship with them.
Are You in Danger From Your Stalking Ex?
If you feel like your situation is dangerous, please tell someone...a parent, trusted advisor, principal, friend or even the police. Sometimes serious measures must be taken to free yourself from a troubled ex. Don't wait until it's too late.
Listen to my call with Candice. The father of Candice's son hit her mom and won't leave her alone. She has a restraining order against him but he keeps trying to come to her house and he's called her over 200 times in the past month.
Be Strong
You don't need to face this struggle alone. God promises that He is with us and will help us whatever the struggle. He tells us to be strong and not afraid because HE IS WITH US.
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9
Don't back down from what you know is right for you. Ask God to give you the strength you need.
Hi all,
I feel harassed by my exes constant calls- i definetely wish to change numbers but scared that he may come storming home to fight-whcih has happened in the past in front of neighbours ehich ended up with the cops filing FIR. But wI wnt back to him as he swore to end his drinking and staying out until next morning habits. To this day it hasn't changed although I left him and year ago. He constanlty calls me despite the fact I have a restraining order and he says he is not afraid. He will screw my life. The biggest reason I left him was because he verbally abused my mom over the phone to me with gory words-de didnot even apologise and says thats besides the point as I had"neutralised" it by reacting legally. Pls helpe me I dislike his character his behaviour everything and though I feel for him at times that there were a few good times where he showered me with fruits and food as his way of investing time I wish for him to leave me alone FOREVER. Can you help me take my next step.
My ex and his new gf wont leave me alone iv tried to get his mum to speak to him and leave me alone but they r now saying I'm hassling them and r going police when its them who doing the hassling They show up where every I am even come to my street when know they don't live anywhere nere me and now his gf keeps message me on facebook I know the police will laugh at them cause all I been saying is leave me alone as I'm getting on with my life but getting to point where it not only stress me out but my family as well non of us of who r please about him hassling me
I broke it off with my ex 8 months ago he yt?has popped up riding around my house n for past few months leaving letters n flowers on car or front porch I'm getting worried because it's becoming more n more n i told him I'm over him he wants another chance he even went as far as sitting next to me in the church I attend n joining a men's group I have informed the pastor's wife about this I told him over n over I don't trust him or wanna be in a relationship anymore he doesn't get it .
I have been dumped 9 month ago via email and I am still hoping my ex would take me back because after I started messaging a couple months ago she never told me "you are losing your time and making me feel nervous. I don't want to get back with you, it's over. Deal with it"
Instead she simply remains silent. Sometimes she texts back after a few days, telling me news and ending with xxxxx and hugs. But most of the time she does not reply, leaving me sad and anxious.
So people, when you dump someone do it properly, not via text or e-mail, be straightforward and honest. You have the right not to want with that person, but they deserve to be treated fairly. Just be honest, express your feelings or lack of feelings in the clearest possible way so as to leave no hope, no gray area, no stone unturned.
I suggest the following example. If I was to receive this, everything would be crystal clear and I would stop texting my ex.
"I want you to understand that I will never get back with you. I ended our relationship because it was not working for me. I do not want to give you a second chance. I am not interested. We are not made for each other. We had good times but it is the past. Don't ruin those memories. I am asking you to stop contacting me. If you cannot understand this, you suffer from codependency. You should seek help. But your problems are none of my business. Forget your childish dreams, be an adult. I will not be with you ever again."
Someone not reciprocating your love should be good enough not to want that relationship.
Have self respect.
Good response i think you should live by that motto
I broke up with my ex over a year ago. I was with him for around 3 years. I tried for the longest time to break up with him. I finally was able to only with the help of my best friend. She broke up with him for me over the phone. Till this day he still contacts me. I can not get away from him. I blocked his numbers, so then he blocked his number so he can call me. He leaves voicemails. He tried to contact me through social media. I blocked his profiles on fb, twitter etc, so in return he creates fake profiles. He contacts my friends, he has even contacted someone I was dating and now my current boyfriend. I've ignored everything but I'm tried of running, it's not fair. It's getting to the point were I probably need to change my number and look into contacting the police. I shouldn't have to do any of this. I don't want to deal with this the rest of my life. But I have a gut feeling I will. I fear one day he'll show up in person. He'll try and stop me from getting married or something. It's tiring. I need advice. Support. I need a miracle.
"She broke up for me over the phone" . Wow. So much disrespect for your ex that you weren't even able to talk to him! Why do you do that to someone you loved? How can he get any closure? Call him and speak to him, explain that you don't want to be with him, that you don't love him anymore. Tell him whatever you want. But talk to him!
I know exactly what you are going through and unfortunately have no good advice but to stay strong! I broke up with my boyfriend 5 months ago and he has continued to find ways to contact me! He has even resorted to messaging me through fitbit! I know how tiring it is and how stressful it can be. It's not about you, it is all about them because if they ever really did care they would take our feelings into account and respect our decision and move on! Good Luck!
I going thru the exact same thing. I keep wondering if this is going to go on for the rest of my life. If I found someone and wanted to get married and he found out would he try to do something stupid. He almost got me fired from my job once. He said he was pissed at me because I was ignoring his texts and calls so he wanted to get back at me. He does that kind of stuff yet is wanting me to get back with him. I'm mean really?
Been divorced 3 years my ex keeps calling me I have a girlfriend my ex is remarried why does she keep calling me?