Breaking up with your boyfriend or girlfriend is hard to do. But it's even more difficult when your ex won't leave you alone after the breakup. I figure there are at least two different reasons why an ex won't let go. Either they want to get back together with you, or they are just trying to get back at you.
When they don't get the message your relationship is over, you will have to clarify again exactly how you feel.
Clarify the Message that the Relationship is Over
When they don't get the message your relationship is over, you will have to clarify again exactly how you feel. Try not to approach this difficult issue when you're frustrated or angry. However, the more clear and direct you can be, the better. But remember, always be kind. Sooner or later, your ex will get the message.
Clarify the Boundaries
It is important to establish boundaries for yourself. While you're working on letting things cool down between you and your ex, try to avoid places and situations where you know he/she might be. If it gets to a point where you are continually made to feel uncomfortable, it might become necessary to talk directly to him/her again. Be prepared to say exactly what he/she is doing and how it makes you feel.
You might even want to take a friend with you when you talk to him/her. You need to be confident in this situation, as your ex might be looking for hope that you want to get back together. This is the time to be firm because you really want them to get the message. This is not the time or argue or fight. You are merely communicating your boundaries.
You may be tempted to go back into the relationship because you think you remember how good it felt to have somebody.
Get Back into a Relationship with an Ex?
You may be tempted to go back into the relationship because you think you remember how good it felt to have somebody. This is especially true if you have been sexual with each other, or you feel sorry for the other person. If you have one or two close friends, tell them why you are breaking up with your ex and ask them to remind you why you broke up when you start thinking about getting back together again.
Listen to my call with Vanessa who's pregnant and still has feelings for her baby's father who cheated on her and pulled a knife on her mom.
I also talked to Ty who says: My bf is an alcoholic, drug abuser and other things. But I don't know how to break up with him because every time I try to he gets VERY suicidal. I have to stay with him but I can't because it hurts me too much seeing him like this. I asked him to stop drinking and he said he would, but he hasn't, and I'm afraid that if he keeps doing this it's going to get to where he might hurt me.
Act Like an Adult and Firmly End It
Kalya says it's been three months since she left her boyfriend and he continues to provoke her. Her advice is priceless: When it's time to let go, do it, there can be no comparing or second-guessing, it just has to be done, especially if you are unhappy and worry all the time. You should not have to babysit your lover.
By communicating firmly and directly, you are acting like an adult. This kind of behavior will lead your ex to increase their respect for you, and finally get the message that you are no longer interested in having a relationship with them.
Are You in Danger From Your Stalking Ex?
If you feel like your situation is dangerous, please tell someone...a parent, trusted advisor, principal, friend or even the police. Sometimes serious measures must be taken to free yourself from a troubled ex. Don't wait until it's too late.
Listen to my call with Candice. The father of Candice's son hit her mom and won't leave her alone. She has a restraining order against him but he keeps trying to come to her house and he's called her over 200 times in the past month.
Be Strong
You don't need to face this struggle alone. God promises that He is with us and will help us whatever the struggle. He tells us to be strong and not afraid because HE IS WITH US.
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9
Don't back down from what you know is right for you. Ask God to give you the strength you need.
My sister has been with the same man for 6 years. They have been through hell and back. Stuck together through all of it, okay maybe not as smoothly has I would have liked. I hear it all and they try to catch me up in it when they fight and argue. Anyway, her man, left for about 3 weeks. No phone call, nothing. I was with her through this whole three weeks and it was a nightmare. When she is just about there and can finally let go, here he comes back home. (House is leased in both of their names, neither can afford to leave) My sister can now, I will be roommate. He has found a girlfriend, oh yeah, my sister is 52 and he is 50, his girlfriend is 21 maybe. She can't buy beer, so 20. He brings her to the house and my sister goes nuts, sneaks her in when my sis is at work, brings her to where I work. I can't stand the girl, she is a heroine addict and has a mouth like a common streetwalker, sorry didn't mean to bring down streetwalkers, her mouth is the worse I have ever heard. My sister almost got arrested for going after the girl, when she came with him and she said some stuff you can't say to a woman in her own home. The police say he can have anyone over that he wants to, told my sister, just look at it like this, he has a newer style car and traded in the old car. My sister had to walk away from the officer as well his partner shook his head and walked away too. They will not stop him from letting that tramp come to my sisters home, cause he is on the lease. My sister just wants peace, but I know she still loves him, he just uses her for money and a nice place to lay his head, never paid a damn thing on that house. How can I help her get over this jerk? I told him about himself one time and he hit me in the head with a wine glass I went to the hospital and nothing happened to him. He said he was defending himself from what? words?
I've told her I was no longer interested but she keeps texting me acting like we're still dating
U found her post..?
That's called magical thinking, she's mentally ill. Block her!
This article may be old but I'm airing out my own story too. Hopefully it can help others. For me, dated a chinese girl for 3 years and it was I that wanted OUT. What I find very annoying right now is that she won't leave me alone! Hate that. She says one thing then does another thing. For instance today she's had it and also thinks we should break up but tomorrow she texts me cute stuff via WeChat (Chinese version of WhatsApp). She's really not doing herself a favor here. She doesn't realise that the more she keeps coming back the more I actually start to think she's crazy and feel less attracted to her. If you're this type of person, please learn to let go. Don't be an idiot.
I have an ex like that who says one thing then another too. He was from Alexandria. One day he says I wasted his time , be littled me and he will never speak to me again, and then the next day he bothers me on WhatsApp says he wants to talk and how he wants me. Everything was good at first then I saw his true colors emerge and I tried to stick by him no matter what, it was stressing me out how he act crazy and I broke up with him. I actually had to delete my whatsapp and tell my friends and family to contact me on another message app. If he had one hope that I ever go back, no way, I don't do crazy , because he is crazy.I have thought about changing my number because the mood swings are annoying and my ex calls at all hours.If I were you, I would not answer your ex anymore and block her.
Omg I'll admit bcuz am jus like dat but every time I stop he keeps coming back and it jus really annoys me dat he won't leave me alone but the only reason I go back is bcuz I jus want him to stop bothering me
Some people can't let go, they're that messed up. In some cases, those people may think you're the messed up one and not them.
People with personality disorder tend to display what you're talking about.
HI. I just recently broke up with my boyfriend. The reason was he cheated on me six months ago and I thought I forgave him but everything got really messy. I began to feel jealousy I never felt before, lack of confidence and went under massive depression. He obviously got affected by all of it and we decided to break up and we have been going to counseling. However, we haven´t stopped seeing each other and even as much as we try, something comes up and we need to see each other again. I really want to heal and move on and if he is the one, everything will change and he will come back renewed, but if not, he will never do. How can I deal with this?
If anyone could offer me some advice or help I'd be so grateful. Over 6 months ago I broke up with my ex and since then I have had an absolute onslought of abuse threats and threats to ruin my life. He's gone way beyond what is normal. He's derranged and its left me wanting to kill myself just to get away from him. From dawn to dusk I've had phone calls texts messages anserphone messages. He breaks me down completely then builds me back up with the I love yous no one gets u but me etc your my one I'll never let you go etc. About a month ago I made a terrible mistake of going back there.....before you judge believe me I know how stupid that was but this person has abused me in every single way you can think of.... Without the physical or sexual violence. I've never been so bullied in all my life. He's got a hold over me because he's threatening to post extremely personal messages to the world....publicly on Fb....which I have had to delete. To all my friends to anyone he thinks I may be with. I'm single but he's been on a one man mission to try to find out everything about my life. I have even involved the police and that hasn't helped. He will never leave me alone and I can't move away from the town I live in. I can't live like this anymore and I am close to taking my own life. I literally can't live with this hanging over me. He will never stop. Please help 😢
Same story. I'm going tho' with girl. And her x bf
I really hope you managed to get threw your hard time with your ex?
Iv only just registered to this site so if u still want to talk I been in same bout x
Sue him take him to court so the judge can put a order for him to not contact or get close to you.
That sounds like classic Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Those can be dangerous (not ever single one), however, I don't want you to take that chance.
Contact the local police, get the records and logs, give it to them, after it's filed, get a restraining order put on his head, then open a FBI case against him, just in case he follows you across state lines or sends something to follow or do worse.