The very idea that someone wants to die is frightening. As a result, suicide is not an easy topic to discuss for many people. But suicide is preventable and talking about suicide does save lives. If one person can be saved from suicide by talking about it with someone, it is worth it; especially if that someone is you.
How to Handle Suicidal Thinking
Talking About Suicide Save Lives
I am amazed at the many powerful and wise comments I have received from you about suicide. I asked you to tell me why you think people contemplate suicide and you had some amazing insights. It is clear that it is usually not just one thing that compels someone to feel suicidal. You said it is a combination of a lot of things, including:
- pain
- loneliness
- rejection
- abuse
- guilt
- depression
- helplessness
- hopelessness
More than anything, I believe people who live with depression and suicidal thoughts feel hopeless. They are hurting so badly and want nothing more than for the pain to end. Unfortunately, they cannot imagine the pain ever going away. They cannot see the light at the end of the very dark and lonely tunnel they have found themselves traveling down. Have you ever felt this way?
Why Is Suicide So Common Among College Students?
For most students, college is a time of “firsts.” For the first time, you’re faced with living outside your parents’ home, managing your own schedule, deciding on an academic trajectory, working or taking out loans to pay for school, making new friends, getting to know a new environment, etc. Trying a new thing is always going to be a bit stressful, even if you’re excited about it. Trying a million new things all at once? Very stressful.
Without support, self-care, and a certain level of familiarity with mental health, times of transition and stress are very likely to impact us emotionally. College is a time when loneliness, hopelessness, depression, and anxiety have a lot of opportunities to take hold of you. On top of that, the typical age range of a college student (18-24) is a time when many mental illnesses manifest in patients. Whether you’re in college or not, these years are when your brain may develop symptoms of anxiety, depression, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, etc.
Between the stage of brain development that most college students are in, and the stress level they’re experiencing in a time of high expectations and constant change, it’s no surprise that suicide rates are especially high within this particular population.
So what can you do about it? If you or someone you know is headed to college, get on the school’s official website and explore what kinds of resources they offer for mental health. Most campuses have health centers to support their students’ needs, and many of those now offer services like counseling or support groups that are free for students. Get familiar with that resource so that if you need it, you can use it! And even though college is a busy time, make sure that caring for yourself is a top priority. Adequate sleep, nutritious food, exercise, other types of rest, and social support are all crucial elements of a healthy college experience.
Don't Believe the Lies...You Matter
It is not uncommon for a person’s circumstances or their self-image to cause someone to think negatively about themselves.
Oftentimes, people consider suicide because they are unable to find any reason to make living worthwhile. They think their problems are unsolvable and they feel completely out of control. I believe first and foremost; hopelessness is a serious spiritual problem rooted in lies and faulty thinking. Anytime you believe lies that depression and suicidal thoughts tell you about yourself, you are listening to the wrong voices.
Jennifer said suicide has been a daily struggle for the past nine years due to being sexually abused. "I feel like suicide is the only option I have left, the only chance at peace I'll ever have. I just want the pain to stop. It's as if something will always be missing and life will never be quite right." There is no denying that the pain of sexual abuse can be tremendous. But the abuse is not Jennifer’s fault. She needs to find the hope that she can overcome this pain. Many people just like Jennifer have overcome abuse by talking about it with a professional counselor. She needs to learn how to stop punishing herself for her abuser’s actions.
Reach Out to Talk About the Pain...Never Give Up
Have you ever gone through something so painful you were convinced the pain was never going to go away? Many people who contemplate suicide say something like: I don't want to die. I just want the pain to stop. They think, "Because I’m in intense pain today, I will always be in pain." It is this kind of faulty thinking that can lead people down the path that leads to suicide.
Kas wrote: I think about suicide pretty much every second of the day. It seems like it's my only choice anymore. I know it's not the answer, but at times I just feel like I can't move on with this life anymore.
Substance Abuse Magnifies Suicidal Thoughts and Behaviors
If you are already living with suicidal ideation, it is important to remember that substance abuse only works to magnify these thoughts and behaviors. Alcohol makes depression worse, impairs thinking and judgment, and increases impulsivity. There is no safety without sobriety. Additionally, coping skills like alcohol, drugs, and self-harm, all fail – because they never address the actual root of the pain. They only serve to temporarily cover it up.
Jordyn wrote: Some people have suicidal thoughts because they want to escape the isolation, pain, and rejection from the environment surrounding them. Others simply feel they have reached a state of loneliness and depression in their lives to the point where their thoughts become so negative, that they can't find any other reason to live. They would rather not confront it because of the fear of hurt that comes along with it. I feel that when you go through times of depression and think about suicide, God is there by your side. He will not abandon you. It is only a matter of whether you reach out to Him through prayer that you will be free from these thoughts.
Mandy also wrote: "Part of the very reason people do what they do is because they have failed. Suicide is the result of irrational thinking in the illness of DEPRESSION. And when people reach that level, just as my father did on the 18th of January 2020, it was a reminder that even the strong fall... "
Depression is a real illness and needs real meaningful help. If you're thinking, "I just want the pain to stop", let us help you. To learn more about depression, please read this guest blog from our partner, Centerstone.
My father committed suicide 4 years ago in his bedroom with a shotgun loaded with a Turkey load. I don't understand why. We are a small family and he was my best friend. He did not leave a note. We all went to church he was saved he was the best father my sister and I could ever be blessed with. He was a Christian man, lived a good life. Never had financial issues, never late on a bill in his life. He left my mother and me & my sister. My mom has never worked a day in her life. We went to our church for counseling and was told the devil took our strongest link....What???? That's it. It feels like someone ripped our hearts out. Not a day goes by I ask Jesus to please give me a sign as to where he is. We were taught committing suicide is a sin. Did he pray before he pulled the trigger if so did it matter??? It feels like he has been gone a life time. I also feel he set a bad example for his family on how to handle stress....this is not the way. It gets easier with time but the question WHY will never be never be solved. If anyone is thinking of committing suicide please think twice. Things will always get better, it really is a long term solution to a short time problem. I feel for families that have suffered thru such a tragedy. We never once gave one thought this would ever happen to our family. The ones left behind truly suffer the most. God bless.
My Brother-in-law a few days ago hung himself. He was 26 years old and left behind my Sister and his 4 year old son. Im doing his eulogy today at 5. He was also a believer who knew Christ at one time but he begin to slip away from the Lord.
Afriend, so sorry for you loss. Thank you so much for reaching out to other here and sharing hope and help. You are your family are in our thoughts and prayers. It is a blessing that you were able to do his euolgy. May the Lord continue to give the entire family peace and comfort in the days to come.
The only unforgivable sin I know of is to blaspheme the Holy Spirit.In other words is to deny the work of the Holy Spirit and call it Satan's work.In my faith,grave psychological disturbances can diminish the responsibility.Only God can judge.So we pray for them.
Sorry for your loss,keep god in your heart
I am a 54 year old mother of 2 girls. The day of their births was the best days of my life. I felt ecstatic and so filled with joy! My daughters would never be a burden to me. I love them unconditionally which means in any situation or circumstance. Your mom feels so much love for you. Reach out to her. The year ahead may be the best days of your life. Surround yourself with positive people. Find a church. Jesus gives us hope. Take baby steps of positive change. Each step will lead to a brighter tomorrow. Never give up. You deserve the very best life has to offer. God bless you!
I have suffered from depression for many years , on and of.I had a fiance who comttited suicide by hanging! i am still suffering through all of this , 30 years later. Now, i go through much sorrow with other things in life such as , taking care of mom with dementia and have her give all her money away while i was her only child and am caring for her 24/7 now. Divorce of betrayel and scam and more . Yes , i do have thought of this however, i am trying to be strong and hope things will change or i will die naturally ! It is a sin you know to do suicide ! I should mention , i have tried in the past , it only left me with much regret and knowlege and to be thankful to God ! i should have been dead , i was in a coma for a week.
I'm thinking of doing it because I love them, I don't want to be a burden on them anymore.
I dont know if youve come back to this sight to read if anyone has replied to you. You are not unnoticed.
I just want to tell everyone that there is hope for everyone. I lost a son on July 5,2014
I have 3 sons living and my wife. Its a struggle everyday going through the motions and now my oldest is having problems ever since this tragedy . Just pray to god to help you . Talk to a friend, a pastor, a co worker anyone life does get better.. peace be with you ... David..(nola)
I'm 32 yrs old. I have never been married, and I have no kids. It feels like all of my friends are getting married, buying houses, having kids and making good enough money that they only have to work one job. I'm tired of working my ass off only to have nothing to show for it. I often think that I am a burden to everyone. My boyfriend always tells me that I'm stupid, pathetic, crazy, he even told me today that I'm a cancer that is just sucking the life out of him and he is just tired of dealing with me. I feel totally trapped. Like nothing I do will ever be good enough for him. I've never cheated on him, never stolen, never asked him to buy me anything more than dinner or cigarettes here and there. I don't go out with my friends anymore because he thinks I'll go out and cheat on him. I never go anywhere without him except to work. I am afraid to tell my family about the way he treats me bc I want them to like him. It's so hard to keep all this to myself all the time. I am embarrassed that I let him treat me like this, I wish I was confident enough to leave him and move on with my life. I don't have the money to move out on my own anyway. Even if I did leave him, I don't think I could stand to be alone again. I feel like at least if I died, I wouldn't have to feel so sad and alone anymore. I can't take the abuse, the depression, the sadness or the loneliness anymore. Sure some people might be sad, but I'm sure they'd all get over it eventually. I love them all so much, my mom my granddad, my brother, my aunts and uncles, and maybe even my boyfriend. I just hope that if i do this, they'll take solace in knowing that I'm no longer in pain, and I'm safe, and nobody could ever hurt me again. I can't hang on much longer.
Lindsey..i hope yr still here to read this...no one 'eventually gets over it' if u did it....u are being abused and every second u stay in that world u are permitting the abuse....get out of there immediately.....seek the Lord for strength...there are agencies to offer shelter. .U seem to spk highly if ye family..dont u think they wd help u?...pray pray pray and pray some more...i know from where i speak...God did not put u here to endure this abuse...ask God for strength and courage...simeone out
Hit post too soon...
Tried to say..someone out there needs you.
Dont give in or give up.
Life gets better..have faith on yrself and mostly in God.
God bless xo
You shouldn't have to let him abuse you.You deserve better.
I am so sorry for all of you. YOU need to get away from this abusive relationship. No husband, no kids, you can be as free as a bird. Get away from this abusive relationship. It is better to be alone for a while and learn to love yourself. Then, someone will come into your life and love you for who you are. At least you will have peace of mind away from this abuser. You are better than that. Everyone is! Go home to your parents, go to a shelter, a church, the police, anything.
I am tired. I'm tired of working two jobs yet still can't afford to move out on my own, let alone pay all my bills. I am tired of missing my Dad who passed pretty suddenly 3yrs ago. I'm tired of my boyfriend of 5 yrs verbally assaulting me every time I say or do the wrong thing (everyday). I recently broke my right ankle and I've had to really rely on him for everything lately, he says he doesn't mind helping me but then he screams at me if I ask him for help too often. I'm tired of living in my boyfriends parents basement, with no real means of being able to move out in the foreseeable future. His parents are hoarders so bc of that I am embarrassed to have friends over. I am tired of trying to clean our home just to have it filled up with trash just as quickly as I get one room clean. I am tired of having to hide the verbal abuse from my family and friends, all because he doesn't want other people to think ill of him. I really feel like maybe I was only put on this earth to be shit on by most of the people I love. It often feels like I have no other choice.
Lindsey, We sent you an email and hope you have talked to someone about how your feeling of wanting to end your life. We want you to know that you matter and you are valuable no matter how you feel. There is only one person in this world like you and you are unique and loved. Please continue to seek out help by calling us at 800.394.4673 or chatting with a HopeCoach at http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp. You can also find help at the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255