The very idea that someone wants to die is frightening. As a result, suicide is not an easy topic to discuss for many people. But suicide is preventable and talking about suicide does save lives. If one person can be saved from suicide by talking about it with someone, it is worth it; especially if that someone is you.
How to Handle Suicidal Thinking
Talking About Suicide Save Lives
I am amazed at the many powerful and wise comments I have received from you about suicide. I asked you to tell me why you think people contemplate suicide and you had some amazing insights. It is clear that it is usually not just one thing that compels someone to feel suicidal. You said it is a combination of a lot of things, including:
- pain
- loneliness
- rejection
- abuse
- guilt
- depression
- helplessness
- hopelessness
More than anything, I believe people who live with depression and suicidal thoughts feel hopeless. They are hurting so badly and want nothing more than for the pain to end. Unfortunately, they cannot imagine the pain ever going away. They cannot see the light at the end of the very dark and lonely tunnel they have found themselves traveling down. Have you ever felt this way?
Why Is Suicide So Common Among College Students?
For most students, college is a time of “firsts.” For the first time, you’re faced with living outside your parents’ home, managing your own schedule, deciding on an academic trajectory, working or taking out loans to pay for school, making new friends, getting to know a new environment, etc. Trying a new thing is always going to be a bit stressful, even if you’re excited about it. Trying a million new things all at once? Very stressful.
Without support, self-care, and a certain level of familiarity with mental health, times of transition and stress are very likely to impact us emotionally. College is a time when loneliness, hopelessness, depression, and anxiety have a lot of opportunities to take hold of you. On top of that, the typical age range of a college student (18-24) is a time when many mental illnesses manifest in patients. Whether you’re in college or not, these years are when your brain may develop symptoms of anxiety, depression, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, etc.
Between the stage of brain development that most college students are in, and the stress level they’re experiencing in a time of high expectations and constant change, it’s no surprise that suicide rates are especially high within this particular population.
So what can you do about it? If you or someone you know is headed to college, get on the school’s official website and explore what kinds of resources they offer for mental health. Most campuses have health centers to support their students’ needs, and many of those now offer services like counseling or support groups that are free for students. Get familiar with that resource so that if you need it, you can use it! And even though college is a busy time, make sure that caring for yourself is a top priority. Adequate sleep, nutritious food, exercise, other types of rest, and social support are all crucial elements of a healthy college experience.
Don't Believe the Lies...You Matter
It is not uncommon for a person’s circumstances or their self-image to cause someone to think negatively about themselves.
Oftentimes, people consider suicide because they are unable to find any reason to make living worthwhile. They think their problems are unsolvable and they feel completely out of control. I believe first and foremost; hopelessness is a serious spiritual problem rooted in lies and faulty thinking. Anytime you believe lies that depression and suicidal thoughts tell you about yourself, you are listening to the wrong voices.
Jennifer said suicide has been a daily struggle for the past nine years due to being sexually abused. "I feel like suicide is the only option I have left, the only chance at peace I'll ever have. I just want the pain to stop. It's as if something will always be missing and life will never be quite right." There is no denying that the pain of sexual abuse can be tremendous. But the abuse is not Jennifer’s fault. She needs to find the hope that she can overcome this pain. Many people just like Jennifer have overcome abuse by talking about it with a professional counselor. She needs to learn how to stop punishing herself for her abuser’s actions.
Reach Out to Talk About the Pain...Never Give Up
Have you ever gone through something so painful you were convinced the pain was never going to go away? Many people who contemplate suicide say something like: I don't want to die. I just want the pain to stop. They think, "Because I’m in intense pain today, I will always be in pain." It is this kind of faulty thinking that can lead people down the path that leads to suicide.
Kas wrote: I think about suicide pretty much every second of the day. It seems like it's my only choice anymore. I know it's not the answer, but at times I just feel like I can't move on with this life anymore.
Substance Abuse Magnifies Suicidal Thoughts and Behaviors
If you are already living with suicidal ideation, it is important to remember that substance abuse only works to magnify these thoughts and behaviors. Alcohol makes depression worse, impairs thinking and judgment, and increases impulsivity. There is no safety without sobriety. Additionally, coping skills like alcohol, drugs, and self-harm, all fail – because they never address the actual root of the pain. They only serve to temporarily cover it up.
Jordyn wrote: Some people have suicidal thoughts because they want to escape the isolation, pain, and rejection from the environment surrounding them. Others simply feel they have reached a state of loneliness and depression in their lives to the point where their thoughts become so negative, that they can't find any other reason to live. They would rather not confront it because of the fear of hurt that comes along with it. I feel that when you go through times of depression and think about suicide, God is there by your side. He will not abandon you. It is only a matter of whether you reach out to Him through prayer that you will be free from these thoughts.
Mandy also wrote: "Part of the very reason people do what they do is because they have failed. Suicide is the result of irrational thinking in the illness of DEPRESSION. And when people reach that level, just as my father did on the 18th of January 2020, it was a reminder that even the strong fall... "
Depression is a real illness and needs real meaningful help. If you're thinking, "I just want the pain to stop", let us help you. To learn more about depression, please read this guest blog from our partner, Centerstone.
There is no god. Only an earth being destroyed by ignorance. Why wait to die when you can no longer see, hear, walk or are living with the pain of losing your loved ones. Why not go now? Ill be gone tomorrow. And it wont matter to anyone. But the hurt, loss, anguish and loneliness i permanently feel will no longer hurt me.
Is There anyway to help my Learning disability? I've been in Special Education my whole 1st - 12th grade. I had to drop out of College because of outside distractions and I couldn't really keep up with the professor. I quick my Job (at the time was fast-food) because they gave me very very very few hours. Now I'm 27 Jobless, living with parents, and have no hope for the future. You only have one shot at life and I want to be happy. Most minimum wage jobs like especially fast-food is the most depressing feeling ever. I feel there's something in me that needs to be unlock to make me happy to overcome my circumstance and succeed in life. I'm in really great shape physically too. I don't have a good job resume at all. been had only one job and no college degree, so no better job won't hire me... I wanna end my life so bad. If I had a gun, I wouldn't be asking for help right now. My circumstance isn't going to get any better I don't think... I'm Hopeless
"God has made you very strong person and you will get through this.
Whatever you are going through right now is only temporary. It will pass. It may be difficult and possibly the most challenging thing you’ve ever been through, but God has made you very strong person and you will get through this. I promise." I just read this statement and felt compelled to respond. My Mother committed suicide in 2009. It was beyond heartbreaking and traumatic. Your quote above about God is false. Why would a loving God allow someone to do this? She suffered from an illness and was in deep emotional pain for many different reasons. She was a devout Catholic and attended church every Sunday. Sometimes, the pain becomes overbearing, and you just see no other way out. God is not here to help anyone. It's a personal decision. If there really were a God, he wouldn't let this happen. Allow those that are suffering to die in peace. Obviously God let my Mother die in peace. Please don't be ignorant.
Hi my name is Trinket last week was my 3rd attempt to kill myself...now I'm looking for knowledge and answer s maybe...I agree it's not that I wanted to die I just felt I couldn't live. And yes I was drinking this only made me feel more hopeless...it's scary to realize you can't take it back...each time it's like I can't control it then I reach out for help..this time I took BP pills and it almost killed me..it's embarrassing to face the people I love and admit the pain I cause others...so on a good note I want to live and show myself I'm not a quitter...
I don't have an abusive life or a bad life. I feel like dying because I feel I'm living for nothing and there's nothing interesting me anymore.
Tabby- You may be struggling with depression. One of the signs of depression is when nothing in life interests you, when it's hard to find enjoyment in life. Please call our HopeCoaches 1-800-394-4673 (HOPE). We care about you!