The very idea that someone wants to die is frightening. As a result, suicide is not an easy topic to discuss for many people. But suicide is preventable and talking about suicide does save lives. If one person can be saved from suicide by talking about it with someone, it is worth it; especially if that someone is you.
How to Handle Suicidal Thinking
Talking About Suicide Save Lives
I am amazed at the many powerful and wise comments I have received from you about suicide. I asked you to tell me why you think people contemplate suicide and you had some amazing insights. It is clear that it is usually not just one thing that compels someone to feel suicidal. You said it is a combination of a lot of things, including:
- pain
- loneliness
- rejection
- abuse
- guilt
- depression
- helplessness
- hopelessness
More than anything, I believe people who live with depression and suicidal thoughts feel hopeless. They are hurting so badly and want nothing more than for the pain to end. Unfortunately, they cannot imagine the pain ever going away. They cannot see the light at the end of the very dark and lonely tunnel they have found themselves traveling down. Have you ever felt this way?
Why Is Suicide So Common Among College Students?
For most students, college is a time of “firsts.” For the first time, you’re faced with living outside your parents’ home, managing your own schedule, deciding on an academic trajectory, working or taking out loans to pay for school, making new friends, getting to know a new environment, etc. Trying a new thing is always going to be a bit stressful, even if you’re excited about it. Trying a million new things all at once? Very stressful.
Without support, self-care, and a certain level of familiarity with mental health, times of transition and stress are very likely to impact us emotionally. College is a time when loneliness, hopelessness, depression, and anxiety have a lot of opportunities to take hold of you. On top of that, the typical age range of a college student (18-24) is a time when many mental illnesses manifest in patients. Whether you’re in college or not, these years are when your brain may develop symptoms of anxiety, depression, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, etc.
Between the stage of brain development that most college students are in, and the stress level they’re experiencing in a time of high expectations and constant change, it’s no surprise that suicide rates are especially high within this particular population.
So what can you do about it? If you or someone you know is headed to college, get on the school’s official website and explore what kinds of resources they offer for mental health. Most campuses have health centers to support their students’ needs, and many of those now offer services like counseling or support groups that are free for students. Get familiar with that resource so that if you need it, you can use it! And even though college is a busy time, make sure that caring for yourself is a top priority. Adequate sleep, nutritious food, exercise, other types of rest, and social support are all crucial elements of a healthy college experience.
Don't Believe the Lies...You Matter
It is not uncommon for a person’s circumstances or their self-image to cause someone to think negatively about themselves.
Oftentimes, people consider suicide because they are unable to find any reason to make living worthwhile. They think their problems are unsolvable and they feel completely out of control. I believe first and foremost; hopelessness is a serious spiritual problem rooted in lies and faulty thinking. Anytime you believe lies that depression and suicidal thoughts tell you about yourself, you are listening to the wrong voices.
Jennifer said suicide has been a daily struggle for the past nine years due to being sexually abused. "I feel like suicide is the only option I have left, the only chance at peace I'll ever have. I just want the pain to stop. It's as if something will always be missing and life will never be quite right." There is no denying that the pain of sexual abuse can be tremendous. But the abuse is not Jennifer’s fault. She needs to find the hope that she can overcome this pain. Many people just like Jennifer have overcome abuse by talking about it with a professional counselor. She needs to learn how to stop punishing herself for her abuser’s actions.
Reach Out to Talk About the Pain...Never Give Up
Have you ever gone through something so painful you were convinced the pain was never going to go away? Many people who contemplate suicide say something like: I don't want to die. I just want the pain to stop. They think, "Because I’m in intense pain today, I will always be in pain." It is this kind of faulty thinking that can lead people down the path that leads to suicide.
Kas wrote: I think about suicide pretty much every second of the day. It seems like it's my only choice anymore. I know it's not the answer, but at times I just feel like I can't move on with this life anymore.
Substance Abuse Magnifies Suicidal Thoughts and Behaviors
If you are already living with suicidal ideation, it is important to remember that substance abuse only works to magnify these thoughts and behaviors. Alcohol makes depression worse, impairs thinking and judgment, and increases impulsivity. There is no safety without sobriety. Additionally, coping skills like alcohol, drugs, and self-harm, all fail – because they never address the actual root of the pain. They only serve to temporarily cover it up.
Jordyn wrote: Some people have suicidal thoughts because they want to escape the isolation, pain, and rejection from the environment surrounding them. Others simply feel they have reached a state of loneliness and depression in their lives to the point where their thoughts become so negative, that they can't find any other reason to live. They would rather not confront it because of the fear of hurt that comes along with it. I feel that when you go through times of depression and think about suicide, God is there by your side. He will not abandon you. It is only a matter of whether you reach out to Him through prayer that you will be free from these thoughts.
Mandy also wrote: "Part of the very reason people do what they do is because they have failed. Suicide is the result of irrational thinking in the illness of DEPRESSION. And when people reach that level, just as my father did on the 18th of January 2020, it was a reminder that even the strong fall... "
Depression is a real illness and needs real meaningful help. If you're thinking, "I just want the pain to stop", let us help you. To learn more about depression, please read this guest blog from our partner, Centerstone.
hi i m 32yrs old having two son one is 8yrs old &younger one is 4yrs old.9yrs back i married to a man i love. i left my family for him.n after marriage they accepted us.frm 3yrs he started beating me in front of my son.he is an alcoholic n after drinking he starts abusive language nbeat me without any reason.but now he also started cheating on me.this pain is unbearable .i can't go my home,i can't stay with him also.i can't commit suicide b'coz of my two son. but i dont know how long i can bear this pain.why people do this to them who love them most?
I'm scared tired an lonely I have a beautiful 9 yr old girl that makes me hang on to this life if it wasn't for her I wouldn't be here but sometimes I lose track of that an just want to go I'm scared I might lose myself I don't want to be selfish an take this life I was given but its hard to live this life I try so hard and get nowhere my child would be better off without me holding her back because of my sadness I carry
I guess I am different then, the reason I want to commit suicide is because I want to know what happens after death. There are so many things unexplained by science that I can't simply stop myself from being curious, I WANT TO KNOW WHAT COMES AFTER DEATH!
Hi guys, OK I can clearly understand about the pain that a few unfortunate people must be undergoing..n I don't feel bad to let u know that I am one such..but suicide is not the best option at any circumstance in our life..it really makes us prove that we are weak and leave behind our beloved ones with all the pain..its not fair..when coming to the pain...the pain threshold varies from one person to the other..I.e., the actual amount of pain experienced by oneself for some x amount of problem....so endurance levels vary from individual to individual...look mental pain is similar to physical kind of pain..its a perspective view..a pregnant woman will have a fear or anxiety about the pain experienced during labor or c-section...but once experienced, she will overcome that and comes out with a kind of enhancement in her pain threshold..fr her next pregnancy, she will not be scared the same way before her first time delivery exposure...that means she got used to it...similarly, mental pain ha its dynamics.. When you experience a mental pain fr the first time, some loss of a loved one or any failure, your mind will not be ready to handle it , so it scares you to death..but if u really try to withstand this tough period.. Sure you will come out successful with increasing your mental pain threshold....see I am a victim myself...I was in love with a guy n we got married against our parents wishes..I faced a lot of struggle after marriage with in-laws ...the deepest of all pains is I lost my pregnancy due to miscarriage for mental stress caused by in-laws...I was able to hear my babies heartbeat , with lots of hope and soon I shattered to get to know it lost its beat and underwent miscarriage...it was the deepest pain and this has lead me into deep guilt and depression...soon there was struggle at home between my husband n me...lots of arguments etc... And due to my in-laws influence , we had disputes in our marital relationship and now my marriage is at stake....I am undergoing a lot of pain...n so many times I felt why this happened to me...but what I felt was the is the toughest of the times I have to withstand at least...sometimes future seems scary and your past haunts you...n u will be left alone to face all this pain yourself n no one to share...but try to understand that life takes its course whether u worry or not...people will forget n lead their own lives..even your beloved ones worry fr ur suicidal death but they will carry-on with their own lives..its not selfish, but time heals everything....so if time heals their pain of your death, why can't ur pain be relieved if u give a chance..there is no point in killing itself fr anybody's sake, or anything sake...if u feel suicidal and you pain kills u...just cry it out..how many times you feel...its only a matter of letting the pain out...that is the only reason y u chose to commit suicide..just to let itself out of life..in order to let out ur pain...so try to let it out....how many times it recurs and scares you just let it out..by crying or by sharing it with some friends or by helpline..what ever..now u will feel a temporary relief once you let it out...do this repeatedly..when ever the pain comes back to u...as time passes...ur circumstances may naturally get better or u may find someone or some reason to share ur life with and live or at least able to cope up with the pain...be stubborn..just be stubborn....try to endure the pain..try to live..put all ur strengths just to live...that's it....keeping yourself alive at tough times is just enough coz u does not quit it like a few cowards...this is just enough and see the miracle...trust god..there is some reason y u r alive...today..so many people meet with accidents, or die fr disease etc...he kept u alive..becoz u r supposed to live...please don't make matters worse by commuting suicide..now u r physically OK..may not be mentally..but if u try killing yourself and fail by any chance...injured or in any worse physical condition..u will not even be able to help yourself..so when u r facing hard times..just play the role of a witness...if it is out of your mistakes..try to rectify them n learn..this will make u a better person..if it was not your mistake..then just keep calm, since u r a just a victim...and try to endure it...not always u r supposed to play a lead role in life's drama..there are a few instances..ur role is just to play a witness and see what is going to happen....what ever happens at the end this is what god gave you ...just challenge it and just appreciate yourself fr staying strong all the way n kept yourself alive....god bless u..
You are not a quitter! You have come to the right place to find answers. Our HopeCoaches are available 24/7. We would love to encourage you and connect you with some great resources.TheHopeLine: 1-800-394-4673 (HOPE)