The very idea that someone wants to die is frightening. As a result, suicide is not an easy topic to discuss for many people. But suicide is preventable and talking about suicide does save lives. If one person can be saved from suicide by talking about it with someone, it is worth it; especially if that someone is you.
How to Handle Suicidal Thinking
Talking About Suicide Save Lives
I am amazed at the many powerful and wise comments I have received from you about suicide. I asked you to tell me why you think people contemplate suicide and you had some amazing insights. It is clear that it is usually not just one thing that compels someone to feel suicidal. You said it is a combination of a lot of things, including:
- pain
- loneliness
- rejection
- abuse
- guilt
- depression
- helplessness
- hopelessness
More than anything, I believe people who live with depression and suicidal thoughts feel hopeless. They are hurting so badly and want nothing more than for the pain to end. Unfortunately, they cannot imagine the pain ever going away. They cannot see the light at the end of the very dark and lonely tunnel they have found themselves traveling down. Have you ever felt this way?
Why Is Suicide So Common Among College Students?
For most students, college is a time of “firsts.” For the first time, you’re faced with living outside your parents’ home, managing your own schedule, deciding on an academic trajectory, working or taking out loans to pay for school, making new friends, getting to know a new environment, etc. Trying a new thing is always going to be a bit stressful, even if you’re excited about it. Trying a million new things all at once? Very stressful.
Without support, self-care, and a certain level of familiarity with mental health, times of transition and stress are very likely to impact us emotionally. College is a time when loneliness, hopelessness, depression, and anxiety have a lot of opportunities to take hold of you. On top of that, the typical age range of a college student (18-24) is a time when many mental illnesses manifest in patients. Whether you’re in college or not, these years are when your brain may develop symptoms of anxiety, depression, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, etc.
Between the stage of brain development that most college students are in, and the stress level they’re experiencing in a time of high expectations and constant change, it’s no surprise that suicide rates are especially high within this particular population.
So what can you do about it? If you or someone you know is headed to college, get on the school’s official website and explore what kinds of resources they offer for mental health. Most campuses have health centers to support their students’ needs, and many of those now offer services like counseling or support groups that are free for students. Get familiar with that resource so that if you need it, you can use it! And even though college is a busy time, make sure that caring for yourself is a top priority. Adequate sleep, nutritious food, exercise, other types of rest, and social support are all crucial elements of a healthy college experience.
Don't Believe the Lies...You Matter
It is not uncommon for a person’s circumstances or their self-image to cause someone to think negatively about themselves.
Oftentimes, people consider suicide because they are unable to find any reason to make living worthwhile. They think their problems are unsolvable and they feel completely out of control. I believe first and foremost; hopelessness is a serious spiritual problem rooted in lies and faulty thinking. Anytime you believe lies that depression and suicidal thoughts tell you about yourself, you are listening to the wrong voices.
Jennifer said suicide has been a daily struggle for the past nine years due to being sexually abused. "I feel like suicide is the only option I have left, the only chance at peace I'll ever have. I just want the pain to stop. It's as if something will always be missing and life will never be quite right." There is no denying that the pain of sexual abuse can be tremendous. But the abuse is not Jennifer’s fault. She needs to find the hope that she can overcome this pain. Many people just like Jennifer have overcome abuse by talking about it with a professional counselor. She needs to learn how to stop punishing herself for her abuser’s actions.
Reach Out to Talk About the Pain...Never Give Up
Have you ever gone through something so painful you were convinced the pain was never going to go away? Many people who contemplate suicide say something like: I don't want to die. I just want the pain to stop. They think, "Because I’m in intense pain today, I will always be in pain." It is this kind of faulty thinking that can lead people down the path that leads to suicide.
Kas wrote: I think about suicide pretty much every second of the day. It seems like it's my only choice anymore. I know it's not the answer, but at times I just feel like I can't move on with this life anymore.
Substance Abuse Magnifies Suicidal Thoughts and Behaviors
If you are already living with suicidal ideation, it is important to remember that substance abuse only works to magnify these thoughts and behaviors. Alcohol makes depression worse, impairs thinking and judgment, and increases impulsivity. There is no safety without sobriety. Additionally, coping skills like alcohol, drugs, and self-harm, all fail – because they never address the actual root of the pain. They only serve to temporarily cover it up.
Jordyn wrote: Some people have suicidal thoughts because they want to escape the isolation, pain, and rejection from the environment surrounding them. Others simply feel they have reached a state of loneliness and depression in their lives to the point where their thoughts become so negative, that they can't find any other reason to live. They would rather not confront it because of the fear of hurt that comes along with it. I feel that when you go through times of depression and think about suicide, God is there by your side. He will not abandon you. It is only a matter of whether you reach out to Him through prayer that you will be free from these thoughts.
Mandy also wrote: "Part of the very reason people do what they do is because they have failed. Suicide is the result of irrational thinking in the illness of DEPRESSION. And when people reach that level, just as my father did on the 18th of January 2020, it was a reminder that even the strong fall... "
Depression is a real illness and needs real meaningful help. If you're thinking, "I just want the pain to stop", let us help you. To learn more about depression, please read this guest blog from our partner, Centerstone.
Please don't give up! We are here for you and want to give you strength, Please call or chat with a HopeCoach today. We have lots of resources we can connect you with for you to have a loving support system in order to heal. There is hope! http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/
Jami, thank you so much for sharing your story of hope and grace. You are an inspiration. Your children are blessed to have such a loving and wise mom. God bless you!
I probably won't commit suicide. That doesn't mean I don't want to though. Honestly, I really don't want to be here because there is nothing worth striving for. It is all worthless. I can't get what I want out of life. I want to feel happy, excited, content, passionate- even remorseful, stressed, guilty, or anxious. I know that I should feel some emotion, but I don't. I know what I should feel. I know that I should care... But I don't. The only genuine feeling that I can conjure up is sadness. When I think about how hopeless my situation is. So tell me, how do you teach yourself to feel emotions? How do you learn to care again? Life is not special on its own, just because it is life. Life is only special to those who view it so. I would rather not live. The world isn't making me happy anymore. I don't know how to make myself feel happy. I used to get enjoyment out of such little things but now I dont. I don't know how to feel happy. I just go through the motions, completely detached. How do you feel more emotionally attached to things again? I probably won't ever take my life because my family and peers would find out. I just want to disappear. I want to be forgotten. I wish I never would have existed. I can't get what I want out of life. I have lost it. I wish there was a way to go without damaging others
I know how you feel. I have been like this for the past 5 years.
My children's father committed suicide last month. Our son is five and daughter is one. He was in a lot of physical pain and had so much stress put on him due to not being able to work. He had a back injury while working in 2008. Workman's comp of ND put all of us through hell. There's a lot more to the story, but I don't want to talk about it.
I think I understand why he committed suicide... because I knew him so well. I'm not mad at him either. I tell my son that his dad will be the first to meet us in Heaven when we go. I don't even know why I'm writing this little blog, maybe it's because I read a few of the stories. I am a single mother of two precious children, and we are doing okay. I feel the strength and love of God with me. I know we will be okay.
To those who want to commit suicide because you believe that there is no way out, I don't know what to say... except. .. there is a way. I am a person who now is raising two children on my own, and we are all okay. I can live this life. Just like you can live yours; however, you need to find it. Go with your gut and do what you love. Find that purpose. And to those of you who have lost somebody to suicide, I pray for strength and love for you. Keep moving forward and stop asking yourself "why?" or "what could you have done? " You will never ever know the answer. Leave it at that and keep moving onward.
The light will come back to you. THE HOPE WILL TOO.. you need to find it no matter how hard it is to find... it's there...
Idk what to do anymore. I'm 19. I have a son. and I've tried to kill myself a couple times. I was addicted to methamphetamine, and when I finally sobered up a little I realized how much I fucked a lot of things up. my family don't even like to be home when I'm home. they say I made it not feel like a home anymore. my birth mother sells me methamphetamine, Idk what could be worse than that.. it feels like she is literally trying to kill me because of how bad I have gotten. my dad was never really one to talk so he just lives on like nothing is happening. my little brother feels like my older brother. he tells me certain things that help me calm down.. it just happened so much that one day he looked at me and said "you know what, I really don't care anymore." my sisters help too, except they always end by saying, "but you're gonna do what you're gonna do. no matter what we say." my son and I have been through a lot, when I'd be all high, or coming down they would always just drop him off with me. so it was always just me and him. I'd sit there and cry and my son would give me a hug. it's all my fault he has grown up so quick, and he is only 1. one day I asked him when he awoke, "son, do you love me?" and in a clear voice he said "no." it broke my heart.. the world would be a lot better if I wasn't in it... " just feeling those drugs go and invade my brain, top of the world, imagining life if I was hella paid, wondering why I'm at the bottom, stuck and still afraid, my sun don't shine, this negative mind keeps me in the shade..."