The very idea that someone wants to die is frightening. As a result, suicide is not an easy topic to discuss for many people. But suicide is preventable and talking about suicide does save lives. If one person can be saved from suicide by talking about it with someone, it is worth it; especially if that someone is you.
How to Handle Suicidal Thinking
Talking About Suicide Save Lives
I am amazed at the many powerful and wise comments I have received from you about suicide. I asked you to tell me why you think people contemplate suicide and you had some amazing insights. It is clear that it is usually not just one thing that compels someone to feel suicidal. You said it is a combination of a lot of things, including:
- pain
- loneliness
- rejection
- abuse
- guilt
- depression
- helplessness
- hopelessness
More than anything, I believe people who live with depression and suicidal thoughts feel hopeless. They are hurting so badly and want nothing more than for the pain to end. Unfortunately, they cannot imagine the pain ever going away. They cannot see the light at the end of the very dark and lonely tunnel they have found themselves traveling down. Have you ever felt this way?
Why Is Suicide So Common Among College Students?
For most students, college is a time of “firsts.” For the first time, you’re faced with living outside your parents’ home, managing your own schedule, deciding on an academic trajectory, working or taking out loans to pay for school, making new friends, getting to know a new environment, etc. Trying a new thing is always going to be a bit stressful, even if you’re excited about it. Trying a million new things all at once? Very stressful.
Without support, self-care, and a certain level of familiarity with mental health, times of transition and stress are very likely to impact us emotionally. College is a time when loneliness, hopelessness, depression, and anxiety have a lot of opportunities to take hold of you. On top of that, the typical age range of a college student (18-24) is a time when many mental illnesses manifest in patients. Whether you’re in college or not, these years are when your brain may develop symptoms of anxiety, depression, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, etc.
Between the stage of brain development that most college students are in, and the stress level they’re experiencing in a time of high expectations and constant change, it’s no surprise that suicide rates are especially high within this particular population.
So what can you do about it? If you or someone you know is headed to college, get on the school’s official website and explore what kinds of resources they offer for mental health. Most campuses have health centers to support their students’ needs, and many of those now offer services like counseling or support groups that are free for students. Get familiar with that resource so that if you need it, you can use it! And even though college is a busy time, make sure that caring for yourself is a top priority. Adequate sleep, nutritious food, exercise, other types of rest, and social support are all crucial elements of a healthy college experience.
Don't Believe the Lies...You Matter
It is not uncommon for a person’s circumstances or their self-image to cause someone to think negatively about themselves.
Oftentimes, people consider suicide because they are unable to find any reason to make living worthwhile. They think their problems are unsolvable and they feel completely out of control. I believe first and foremost; hopelessness is a serious spiritual problem rooted in lies and faulty thinking. Anytime you believe lies that depression and suicidal thoughts tell you about yourself, you are listening to the wrong voices.
Jennifer said suicide has been a daily struggle for the past nine years due to being sexually abused. "I feel like suicide is the only option I have left, the only chance at peace I'll ever have. I just want the pain to stop. It's as if something will always be missing and life will never be quite right." There is no denying that the pain of sexual abuse can be tremendous. But the abuse is not Jennifer’s fault. She needs to find the hope that she can overcome this pain. Many people just like Jennifer have overcome abuse by talking about it with a professional counselor. She needs to learn how to stop punishing herself for her abuser’s actions.
Reach Out to Talk About the Pain...Never Give Up
Have you ever gone through something so painful you were convinced the pain was never going to go away? Many people who contemplate suicide say something like: I don't want to die. I just want the pain to stop. They think, "Because I’m in intense pain today, I will always be in pain." It is this kind of faulty thinking that can lead people down the path that leads to suicide.
Kas wrote: I think about suicide pretty much every second of the day. It seems like it's my only choice anymore. I know it's not the answer, but at times I just feel like I can't move on with this life anymore.
Substance Abuse Magnifies Suicidal Thoughts and Behaviors
If you are already living with suicidal ideation, it is important to remember that substance abuse only works to magnify these thoughts and behaviors. Alcohol makes depression worse, impairs thinking and judgment, and increases impulsivity. There is no safety without sobriety. Additionally, coping skills like alcohol, drugs, and self-harm, all fail – because they never address the actual root of the pain. They only serve to temporarily cover it up.
Jordyn wrote: Some people have suicidal thoughts because they want to escape the isolation, pain, and rejection from the environment surrounding them. Others simply feel they have reached a state of loneliness and depression in their lives to the point where their thoughts become so negative, that they can't find any other reason to live. They would rather not confront it because of the fear of hurt that comes along with it. I feel that when you go through times of depression and think about suicide, God is there by your side. He will not abandon you. It is only a matter of whether you reach out to Him through prayer that you will be free from these thoughts.
Mandy also wrote: "Part of the very reason people do what they do is because they have failed. Suicide is the result of irrational thinking in the illness of DEPRESSION. And when people reach that level, just as my father did on the 18th of January 2020, it was a reminder that even the strong fall... "
Depression is a real illness and needs real meaningful help. If you're thinking, "I just want the pain to stop", let us help you. To learn more about depression, please read this guest blog from our partner, Centerstone.
Jakey, We're so sorry you are going through this hurt and pain in your life from your wife cheating on you. We want you to know that you are not alone in this. You are worthy and your children need you to stay in this world for them. Please never give up on your life. Stay here to watch them grow and have children of their own. You and your love is important to them and they need you in their lives. Would you chat with a HopeCoach about what is going on? You can chat online at http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp It's important to talk to someone about what is going on. We care and we are here to listen.
I married my wife knowing she cheated on me, when i accidentally found a letter to boy saying she wanted to leave me and she was only looking for the right time to tell me,. I found the letter that was crumpled i dont if this was the draft or the original letter. I did not tell her because I love her so much, instead i took care and love her even more, i followed her one time and she went from the boys house, when she arrived at home i ask where she went, she told me shes just busy at school, again i kept it all to myself because i love her so much,. Years past and im having the feeling that shes doing it again, and shes lying about it. When i talked to her, it becomes an heated argument, she told me to break it of., and just be separrate, i told her i know your gonna say that. I feel so betrayed and it hurt so much., i would like to end my life to stop this pain. But i am concern about my children, my family dont know what is happening to me and to my children i kept it that way, so that they wont judge my wife badly., since i was the only one feeling this way., i plan to leave and drown my self at sea without identification, i was planning to write a suicide letter to my family, so that they wont bother looking for me, i already said so many times to my children how much i love them, keep hugging them, but they cant see my pain and it hurt so much, i gave my self a deadline until end of april, if i wont find hope to live. Atleast i did have someone to know my story,.
I agree with a lot in this post. My mum suffers from an alcohol addiction and her and my dad fought all the time. I think I was a happy child, I didnt really know the difference, not until i was about 12. When I was 12 my mother tried comiting suicide, it was just me, my mum and my sister at home at the time. It was truly horrific, I definitely lost a huge part of myself that night, I just became a sad and miserable person. Felt like I couldn't talk to anybody so I put on a happy face, my friends actually thought I was incapable of feeling emotion, I'm just good at hiding it. 10 years later and it's still the same, I feel like I have nothing, I can't talk to anyone about it because I don't think anyone would take me serious. I don't want to die but I really dont want to be here either. I don't know what to do, everyone keeps saying it's going to get better but when? 10 years from now? 50 years from now? I don't think I can wait that long.
my life is a sick lonely heavy depression. i can't wait until i build up the courage to throw myself of a bridge.
I was born with rheumatoid arthritis. For me, pain is NOT temporary. My childhood memories are of crying myself to sleep because I hurt and being told it is just growing pains. It wasn't until early teens that my parents found out that my "growing pains" was a real problem and not something everyone went through. For me, I see death as the only cure for this disease that causes more and more pain every year. I'm in my early 40s and can no longer work but social security disability keeps denying me. So I am a burden to my wife who stays with me out of a sense of duty but no longer loves me. This she has told me outright. This is not a life, this is just a continuous hell on earth. Everyday I think about dying. It's become a game to come up with creative ways to die. I"m giving SSI one last chance to put through my disability. If the deny me again, I will no longer be a burden to anyone and I'll finally be free from pain. I already spend 85% of my life laying down so i'm already mostly dead to the world. The only one that will miss me is my dog, but he loves my wiFe so he will be fine. I've already picked my spot that is secluded and has an abundance of coyotes, mountain lions, and carrion eaters to finally give me some worth and to pay this piece of crap body back for a lifetime of pain. Even if I get SSI, I will end up killing myself, just maybe a little later.
BTW, don't bother looking up the ip address, I have bounced this connection through a couple proxy sites