The very idea that someone wants to die is frightening. As a result, suicide is not an easy topic to discuss for many people. But suicide is preventable and talking about suicide does save lives. If one person can be saved from suicide by talking about it with someone, it is worth it; especially if that someone is you.
How to Handle Suicidal Thinking
Talking About Suicide Save Lives
I am amazed at the many powerful and wise comments I have received from you about suicide. I asked you to tell me why you think people contemplate suicide and you had some amazing insights. It is clear that it is usually not just one thing that compels someone to feel suicidal. You said it is a combination of a lot of things, including:
- pain
- loneliness
- rejection
- abuse
- guilt
- depression
- helplessness
- hopelessness
More than anything, I believe people who live with depression and suicidal thoughts feel hopeless. They are hurting so badly and want nothing more than for the pain to end. Unfortunately, they cannot imagine the pain ever going away. They cannot see the light at the end of the very dark and lonely tunnel they have found themselves traveling down. Have you ever felt this way?
Why Is Suicide So Common Among College Students?
For most students, college is a time of “firsts.” For the first time, you’re faced with living outside your parents’ home, managing your own schedule, deciding on an academic trajectory, working or taking out loans to pay for school, making new friends, getting to know a new environment, etc. Trying a new thing is always going to be a bit stressful, even if you’re excited about it. Trying a million new things all at once? Very stressful.
Without support, self-care, and a certain level of familiarity with mental health, times of transition and stress are very likely to impact us emotionally. College is a time when loneliness, hopelessness, depression, and anxiety have a lot of opportunities to take hold of you. On top of that, the typical age range of a college student (18-24) is a time when many mental illnesses manifest in patients. Whether you’re in college or not, these years are when your brain may develop symptoms of anxiety, depression, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, etc.
Between the stage of brain development that most college students are in, and the stress level they’re experiencing in a time of high expectations and constant change, it’s no surprise that suicide rates are especially high within this particular population.
So what can you do about it? If you or someone you know is headed to college, get on the school’s official website and explore what kinds of resources they offer for mental health. Most campuses have health centers to support their students’ needs, and many of those now offer services like counseling or support groups that are free for students. Get familiar with that resource so that if you need it, you can use it! And even though college is a busy time, make sure that caring for yourself is a top priority. Adequate sleep, nutritious food, exercise, other types of rest, and social support are all crucial elements of a healthy college experience.
Don't Believe the Lies...You Matter
It is not uncommon for a person’s circumstances or their self-image to cause someone to think negatively about themselves.
Oftentimes, people consider suicide because they are unable to find any reason to make living worthwhile. They think their problems are unsolvable and they feel completely out of control. I believe first and foremost; hopelessness is a serious spiritual problem rooted in lies and faulty thinking. Anytime you believe lies that depression and suicidal thoughts tell you about yourself, you are listening to the wrong voices.
Jennifer said suicide has been a daily struggle for the past nine years due to being sexually abused. "I feel like suicide is the only option I have left, the only chance at peace I'll ever have. I just want the pain to stop. It's as if something will always be missing and life will never be quite right." There is no denying that the pain of sexual abuse can be tremendous. But the abuse is not Jennifer’s fault. She needs to find the hope that she can overcome this pain. Many people just like Jennifer have overcome abuse by talking about it with a professional counselor. She needs to learn how to stop punishing herself for her abuser’s actions.
Reach Out to Talk About the Pain...Never Give Up
Have you ever gone through something so painful you were convinced the pain was never going to go away? Many people who contemplate suicide say something like: I don't want to die. I just want the pain to stop. They think, "Because I’m in intense pain today, I will always be in pain." It is this kind of faulty thinking that can lead people down the path that leads to suicide.
Kas wrote: I think about suicide pretty much every second of the day. It seems like it's my only choice anymore. I know it's not the answer, but at times I just feel like I can't move on with this life anymore.
Substance Abuse Magnifies Suicidal Thoughts and Behaviors
If you are already living with suicidal ideation, it is important to remember that substance abuse only works to magnify these thoughts and behaviors. Alcohol makes depression worse, impairs thinking and judgment, and increases impulsivity. There is no safety without sobriety. Additionally, coping skills like alcohol, drugs, and self-harm, all fail – because they never address the actual root of the pain. They only serve to temporarily cover it up.
Jordyn wrote: Some people have suicidal thoughts because they want to escape the isolation, pain, and rejection from the environment surrounding them. Others simply feel they have reached a state of loneliness and depression in their lives to the point where their thoughts become so negative, that they can't find any other reason to live. They would rather not confront it because of the fear of hurt that comes along with it. I feel that when you go through times of depression and think about suicide, God is there by your side. He will not abandon you. It is only a matter of whether you reach out to Him through prayer that you will be free from these thoughts.
Mandy also wrote: "Part of the very reason people do what they do is because they have failed. Suicide is the result of irrational thinking in the illness of DEPRESSION. And when people reach that level, just as my father did on the 18th of January 2020, it was a reminder that even the strong fall... "
Depression is a real illness and needs real meaningful help. If you're thinking, "I just want the pain to stop", let us help you. To learn more about depression, please read this guest blog from our partner, Centerstone.
Trevor, Thank you for reaching out and telling your story. You are important and you are worthy. You deserve to be loved and respected by your family. Have you talked to anyone about what is going on? It's important that you talk to someone so that they can find you the help you need with your situation. Please don't give up on your life. Give your self a chance to move beyond this hurt and pain your are experiencing right now. Will you talk with a HopeCoach today? To chat online go to http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp or call us at 800.394.4673 We care about you and want you to know that you are not alone.
I'm a 14 year old child with no love my parents don't like me and my mom rejected to hold me when i was born my hole life is a mess no family i feel pain abuse loneliness depression i have try committing sucide before and i did not succeed
my dad says I'm not worth it and that I'm stupid just like everyone else insolts me and bullies me my teachers li about me i get beat up in school i have to pretend i have friends because known likes me and yes i have tryid making friends at my new school but they stell treat me like crap any were i go i wish i was never born or that i was dead
I'm just bored. I've battled with depression and other disorders my entire life. Yes I went through abuse and a lot of other "pain" but nothing hurts me more than apathy. I have no interest in anything. My life is completely boring and I feel like I'll never have the resources to go where I want to go. I feel like I'll never make a real connection with anyone and I am terrified that absolutely nothing entertains me anymore. I've tried suicide a few times actually and I have plenty of self-inflicted scars. But I've never wanted to die more than I do now. I see no light at the end of the tunnel and quite frankly I don't care. Your website doesn't say much on this... I just see no meaning to my life. I have no friends, no job, and no money. No boyfriend and no interesting hobbies. I go to school, I'm a college student with no major (go figure). The only emotion I feel is hatred for my boring life. And you can't tell me how to fix that...
I am just tired of tring to show people how muh I ccare ... lets just end this ... noone will caree about me, so why do I still try so hard to please them? No use, reason, advantage .....
The police know how to help me with suicidal thoughts? Yes, they will help by locking me up in a stinky cell with criminals.
The hospital/Psychiatrists know how to help me??? I have met at least 20 and they have all tried their concoctions & failed. Even the top Psychiatrists at Asia's largest institute of mental science, NIMHANS came to the conclusion that I should leave my studies(though I had always been a good student) because I can't take the pressure. Well, if I can't take the pressure of medical studies (though I competed in one of the toughest competitive exams to get in medical school), how can I take the pressures of life, which is a tougher school than any in the world? I hope you will agree that life is tougher than any medical school. So what the famed Psychiatrists at NIMHANS were telling me(& rightly so) is that I can not take the pressures of life and so I should leave it(I.e., commit suicide). I tried several times, but miraculously escaped each time. Only I know what I am going through. Don't dare to say that you understand. Wouldn't it be fair to realize my agony & give me euthanasia?