The very idea that someone wants to die is frightening. As a result, suicide is not an easy topic to discuss for many people. But suicide is preventable and talking about suicide does save lives. If one person can be saved from suicide by talking about it with someone, it is worth it; especially if that someone is you.
How to Handle Suicidal Thinking
Talking About Suicide Save Lives
I am amazed at the many powerful and wise comments I have received from you about suicide. I asked you to tell me why you think people contemplate suicide and you had some amazing insights. It is clear that it is usually not just one thing that compels someone to feel suicidal. You said it is a combination of a lot of things, including:
- pain
- loneliness
- rejection
- abuse
- guilt
- depression
- helplessness
- hopelessness
More than anything, I believe people who live with depression and suicidal thoughts feel hopeless. They are hurting so badly and want nothing more than for the pain to end. Unfortunately, they cannot imagine the pain ever going away. They cannot see the light at the end of the very dark and lonely tunnel they have found themselves traveling down. Have you ever felt this way?
Why Is Suicide So Common Among College Students?
For most students, college is a time of “firsts.” For the first time, you’re faced with living outside your parents’ home, managing your own schedule, deciding on an academic trajectory, working or taking out loans to pay for school, making new friends, getting to know a new environment, etc. Trying a new thing is always going to be a bit stressful, even if you’re excited about it. Trying a million new things all at once? Very stressful.
Without support, self-care, and a certain level of familiarity with mental health, times of transition and stress are very likely to impact us emotionally. College is a time when loneliness, hopelessness, depression, and anxiety have a lot of opportunities to take hold of you. On top of that, the typical age range of a college student (18-24) is a time when many mental illnesses manifest in patients. Whether you’re in college or not, these years are when your brain may develop symptoms of anxiety, depression, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, etc.
Between the stage of brain development that most college students are in, and the stress level they’re experiencing in a time of high expectations and constant change, it’s no surprise that suicide rates are especially high within this particular population.
So what can you do about it? If you or someone you know is headed to college, get on the school’s official website and explore what kinds of resources they offer for mental health. Most campuses have health centers to support their students’ needs, and many of those now offer services like counseling or support groups that are free for students. Get familiar with that resource so that if you need it, you can use it! And even though college is a busy time, make sure that caring for yourself is a top priority. Adequate sleep, nutritious food, exercise, other types of rest, and social support are all crucial elements of a healthy college experience.
Don't Believe the Lies...You Matter
It is not uncommon for a person’s circumstances or their self-image to cause someone to think negatively about themselves.
Oftentimes, people consider suicide because they are unable to find any reason to make living worthwhile. They think their problems are unsolvable and they feel completely out of control. I believe first and foremost; hopelessness is a serious spiritual problem rooted in lies and faulty thinking. Anytime you believe lies that depression and suicidal thoughts tell you about yourself, you are listening to the wrong voices.
Jennifer said suicide has been a daily struggle for the past nine years due to being sexually abused. "I feel like suicide is the only option I have left, the only chance at peace I'll ever have. I just want the pain to stop. It's as if something will always be missing and life will never be quite right." There is no denying that the pain of sexual abuse can be tremendous. But the abuse is not Jennifer’s fault. She needs to find the hope that she can overcome this pain. Many people just like Jennifer have overcome abuse by talking about it with a professional counselor. She needs to learn how to stop punishing herself for her abuser’s actions.
Reach Out to Talk About the Pain...Never Give Up
Have you ever gone through something so painful you were convinced the pain was never going to go away? Many people who contemplate suicide say something like: I don't want to die. I just want the pain to stop. They think, "Because I’m in intense pain today, I will always be in pain." It is this kind of faulty thinking that can lead people down the path that leads to suicide.
Kas wrote: I think about suicide pretty much every second of the day. It seems like it's my only choice anymore. I know it's not the answer, but at times I just feel like I can't move on with this life anymore.
Substance Abuse Magnifies Suicidal Thoughts and Behaviors
If you are already living with suicidal ideation, it is important to remember that substance abuse only works to magnify these thoughts and behaviors. Alcohol makes depression worse, impairs thinking and judgment, and increases impulsivity. There is no safety without sobriety. Additionally, coping skills like alcohol, drugs, and self-harm, all fail – because they never address the actual root of the pain. They only serve to temporarily cover it up.
Jordyn wrote: Some people have suicidal thoughts because they want to escape the isolation, pain, and rejection from the environment surrounding them. Others simply feel they have reached a state of loneliness and depression in their lives to the point where their thoughts become so negative, that they can't find any other reason to live. They would rather not confront it because of the fear of hurt that comes along with it. I feel that when you go through times of depression and think about suicide, God is there by your side. He will not abandon you. It is only a matter of whether you reach out to Him through prayer that you will be free from these thoughts.
Mandy also wrote: "Part of the very reason people do what they do is because they have failed. Suicide is the result of irrational thinking in the illness of DEPRESSION. And when people reach that level, just as my father did on the 18th of January 2020, it was a reminder that even the strong fall... "
Depression is a real illness and needs real meaningful help. If you're thinking, "I just want the pain to stop", let us help you. To learn more about depression, please read this guest blog from our partner, Centerstone.
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I so want to die. Tried cutting my wrist today, and i did succeed to some extent. My home environment is just like hell. I have an 8 years old son, he always seems scared because of the fights between me and my husband. My husband lost his job 2 months ago and since then there is too much fight in the house. My father also is an extremely cruel man. I am 32 and he still beats me with my husband. My mom doesnt stop them, keeps sitting there and keeps watching everything. I have no hope to live. I just want to die. Nobody cares about me. Nobody loves me. I have no place to go. I feel the only option i am left with is suicide. I have been thinking about it for last so many days n did succeed, i wrote this article today n stopped myself from hurting me more. But i dont think so i will be able to stop myself in a day or so.
I am so happy about you just be like this don't you ever think about that. you know why, imagine the life of your son about you if he knew that you are dead maybe he will think that he was the reason and he will be dead too, so always be wise and don't forget you family loves you because they won't leave you
It is a very hurtful situation.. I have had the thought of ending my life much too often as well... But seeing your pain, I have realized that there are people in much worse conditions who have only just started thinking of committing suicide. Like YOU.
uptil now, I was feeling low and hopeless and just as a joke on myself, I thought I'll turn to the internet for help(I mean, no one living could help me yet, maybe the internet might?) And that is when I came across this site, our of countlesscountless others and read on till I saw your story.
And it got to me like a wake up call. You gave me hope that if YOU are in such a horrible situation and still alive, pulling through so strongly, I have much MUCH less to complain about life...
Honestly, if you can give someone hope, I think you're far better and worthwhile to end your life like this... You're strong enough and I'm sure God is proud of you somewhere. He's got some plan for you because someone who can give another person HOPE is well... The most important person that we all need at some point.
God bless you.
please dont give up.People care.You just cant see it,your not alone
Very nice to thank her & wonderful how her story saved you & she did it unknowingly! That is awesome! Chin up : )
Just dont kill yourself im pretty sure people would miss you if i could see you in real life id say its alright
Hey beautiful think of your son! SAY TO YOURSELF I AM BEAUTIFUL I AM WORTH IT, say this prayer...Dear Jesus come into my life you have made me whole you have made me right with you, I am yours You are my Friend You gave me beauty for ashes, You gave me breathe of life I receive you now Lord Jesus, You have given me Peace and Health and Eternal Life You have Given me Hope!!!! In Jesus mighty name Thank you for loving me and dying for all my pain I have felt in the past...You Jesus have set me Free thankyou my friend In Jesus Name Amen xxxooo
I feel happy that you saved your life and also take the suggestions below.
and don't forget family is important more than any thing in the world.
Ylou have a son, I cant have a child as a 31year old this makes me feel ive lost out, get the number of a hostel, social services, womens aid, u owe itto ur child, to not let the child. Live in fear of his dad, u also owe it to him to. Carry on, sort ur life out
Hi which country do you live in, most countries arrest man who beat or abuse women, I'm thinking about practical help for your situation, I've been in an abusive relationship and thought there's no way out because this person's biggest threat is that they are capable of killing me, themselves or my family, an abusive person is crazy but even crazy people need to be stopped, that's why they get injection and pills, I think you want to kill yourself because you are afraid he'll kill you one day anyway, truth is there is some1 who cares the minute I told my mom, friends, older cousin they they all wanted to help my brother ended up knowing but wanted to kill him and became my body guard, authorities 1st, if you think no one in your family cares there's some1 who cares out there, I do care a lot, post your story in social media and tell people in your community that you live with them under those circumstances this will help other women too
stop,you need to get out of there,this is not your fault and you dont deserve this but you need to think about your son and you,you dont need to go through this and keep going for your son,one day he might be feeling how you do now and need his mum
i hope your alright you wont feel like this forever
Hi
Hey. I've had someone commit suicide before and it hurts. I'm not gonna make this too long. But I do want you think of your son. If you leave he may be stuck with the same thing our going through. Do you want that for him? I'm not trying to ruin your life but honestly the best thing you could do is get in your car and leave. If you are scared of your husband and dad then do not talk to them about it get your son and a little bit of clothes and leave and get help. You should not have to be abused. It is not right and I hate that you have to I bet you are beautiful and strong and don't let them get the satisfaction they want
Leave your husband and Father and get to a safe house. There are organizations that can help you find them.
Hi. I don't know if you have updated but I hope you have battled your demons and looking back at this time wondering why! I'm 25. I just lost my father to suicide. He hung himself two days before my youngest sister turned 9 and a week before my second youngest turned 10. Words cannot express the heartbreak it caused them. I know that life sometimes seems really bad but with the will to change it.. You can. Look at your sons face. Find the love in his precious smile and eyes. Even when it's rough. Remember that when you're gone.. You never come back and unfortunately the only person who feels more alone is your boy. Idk why my dad did it but my sisters will never be the same. To lose someone to natural causes is easier. To lose someone to suicide... The pain is more. I know it's crappy to say "look at the bright side" because some people don't have a bright side.. But look at your boy. Let the love conquer the hurt and depression. No one needs you more then him. My sisters need my dad and I know if he knew the pain he caused them, it would've changed his decision. I hope you're doing ok. I really do 🙂
Suicide is such a complex and individual matter. It defies logic but the painful thoughts are clearly overwhelming. Impossible to reliably predict, no good evidence for any effective treatment despite lots of kind and well meaning people. Numbers are increasing. The suggestions for prevention sound good but don't seem to work. Numbers continued to increase in Australia when a major investment in prevention was undertaken.
I have had 2 years with every waking hour filled with thoughts of suicide, a lovely family, good income, but was tricked by a financial adviser and can't get over my foolishness. I am obsessed with trying to find an answer and a way out but just seem to get more involved with this thinking. Maybe talking about it and these websites make it more likely. I've tried all the treatments, but am stuck with myself, my past choices and regrets. These thoughts are like a cancer that I can't get rid of.
James M, i believe you'r correct in it being an individual matter. Probably why prevention attempts fail. For most, you too, it does defy logic. People want to help but can't, they don't feel your pain. like everyone you have handled mistakes and failures before, but this one hurts you, you were swindled and feel foolish, it seems there's no way to repair the damage, you tried. This man beat you, in front of your family, making you seem foolish. But he didn't take your family away, that you die for. Realize, you were outsmarted and you can't fix it. Accept defeat or you will give this man the power of taking your family by you losing their faith, interest and love. It will feel as if they left you for the man that beat you down. You will surely die soon after this mans actions causes you to lose any real reason to live. Your wife, your Family. Losing hurts. It's done. focus on something else, if not you'll never find another opportunity or your worth, EVER. It defies logic because it's not for you. People have died just minutes from civilization because they loss focus and felt defeated. All they had to do was venture a half mile. This last year and a half i have never come so close to act. my depression is crippling, emotionally, But i'm going for the ride, whichever, i'm going to live, make love to a woman, laugh no matter what those people took from me. (more than money) no one believes, but i know it. Once you decide, you can have the same. i still got a little to go, but i see it. I won't if i act on it or die for it.
But with your situation you have the skills and tools to get over what you did and make better decisions in the future. Be thankful you have that. Not all of us do.
hello there my name is Mohamed I have about my father few month ago I was committed suicide but that was didn't work out for me everytime I try is work out ever I cut my wore didn't work I took pill is not working II have never done anything bad my ret of life but I m still working on
to take way my life my own father make me second citizenship I have no face to see or to live
Please don't give up on life. Chat with a HopeCoach anytime 24/7 - it's free and they really care about you! http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/
Unfortunately that knowledge just leaves me frightened as to where this is all heading. I seem stuck within my own nightmare
Good Morning, I sincerely hope you can get up and be apart of the world. I am a very depressed mom and grandmom. I can understand people thinking that suicide is their only way of escape. But just for a min. think about one person you know that will be haunted for the rest of their life because they can not understand and miss you so very much. Try, please try to stop the would ofs could ofx and the should ofs. They will destroy you.
I also unnderstand about your feeling about being stuck. You feel so sick inside and just want a slice of happiness but it does not come. PLEASE care about yourself and do not do it. PLEASE
There are people that love you and care about you, but in your condition you can not see it.
Hi I'm 20 nw.. I'm totally depressed about my lif..my father doesn't cares of me..my mother is such a stupid lady in my life..I donoo whether she is my own mother... She will be torturing me and taunting me in everything n every second of my lif even I tried to attempted sucide ..but my fate is so bad so that I haven't died yet.. For me no parents has lov for their children... But later NW I realised that I need to live for myself I want to live happily n show them so look at Ur children n liv happily don't bother
It's not good to end your life like that. There is always counseling to talk to someone about that problems your having.
Do you know how expensive counselling is not everybody can afford it and not everybody has access to free counselling
Please chat with one of our HopeCoaches. It is totally free and we have other free resources similar to counseling like having an email mentor. Just click our "chat now" button and we will help.
At 20, you can get out of their house. You made it for 20 years you can make it 20,40, 60 years more day by day. Learn to be the person you were meant to be by God. Get a means of supporting yourself, get counseling, and make a good life for yourself. You have already gotten through the first 20 which, I am sure, were the hardest that you have had to face. Put these people behind you, there are others out there who will care more for you. Find them in a safe environment such as a church, youth group,or somewhere else safe.
MY FRIENDS
STOP THINKING ABOUT SUICIDE !!!!!!!!!
YOU ARE GREAT PEOPLE
YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN
ALL GOLD IN THIS PLANET
YOU ARE THE ONE AND ONLY
AND YOU HAVE TO LIVE
TO SHOW LIFE WHO RULES THIS WORLD !!!!!!!!!
I LOVE YOU ALL <3
LET'S WIN THIS BATTLE
AND LET'S MAKE OUR LIFES GREAT !!!!!!!!!!
This is heartbreaking, as was above. Never is a long time.
This is heartbreaking as was above,
Please no matter what u do get help next time I feel like that my dad took his life my girlfriends dad also took his life changed us as people for ever so think of your family and get help hope things get better
Hi Beautiful, your comment shown as 8 months ago, I am really really hoping that things are much more better with you now . And that you have grown more strong and more beautiful. Look, I am not an expert and I am not going to pretend to but I know one thing, you came her because you really want to stop your self from committing sucide , even if you really feeling you can't.. but you CAN, and you will.
what ever going on in your life fight to fix it and this is what I am telling myself, you never know when things will get all right, just don't go for the easy way and quit, and don't be so hard on yourself.
live for yourself and your son.
And always pray for a stronger you.
Report your father to the police, the beatings must be stop.
Hay you can do it stay stong and wait everything will get better soon and everyone hating you isnt true your son probably does and so many other people just wait it will get better
suicide is not always an option,if want to set yourself free from this environment.....you must call the police and tell them about this domestic violence. tell your husband that if he has lost his job 2 months ago, then why didn't he look for another job instead of beating you in front of your mother and your son. look your father right in the eyes and remind him that you are his daughter. Ask your mother that did she carry you for nine months in her womb just to see you get beaten up by your husband and your father? if none of this work then leave them, cos its up to you what you do with your life, not up to them.
you need to leave the situation your in... maybe not in the way your thinking.. save some money.. grab your baby and just leave... don't leave him in that horrible situation.. he is your solace..
I hope your life gets better and that in everything you do you see happiness and hope. Some things you just cannot keep silent you need to report your father or something. Stay strong not only for yourself but for your son. *cutting yourself is not the answer* crying is way more healthy if you need to find refuge in a friend that you truly trust <3 I hope i was able to help (: <3
I hope you are still with us .. sad sad thoughts brought me here . I am in the midst of separating from my 12 year relationship . I have a 5 year old son ...this morning has been very very hard for me . I don't have anyone to turn to.. I hope god blesses me with the power to overcome. I hope he blessed you as well .. I love you.. 3 years late .. but I love you
Please, please, get some help, but first get away from these toxic people. There are laws to protect you from physical abuse, take pictures of your injuries if you can. I hope that you are still with us. Sounds like you, your husband and son are living with you mother and father. A terrible cycle of abuse. Please find a way to protect yourself and your son. Suicide will not protect you son whom, I am sure is the world to you. God bless and please let us know that you are still with us and are in a better situation. We care.
I hope you got help and took your son with you , there are womens shelters that you take your child with you and they help you both.And they are hidden from the abusers, they need not know where you are.
Have to agree you're getting a raunchy deal! Three people belong in prison. It's amazing how much relief you can get getting away from abusers. We also need women like you to help us change the laws, if you ever feel good enough.
Love love love to you.
Thanks for saving me from committing suicide. I was about to do it!
I lost a young nephew too very recently and found this website. I'm so sorry for your loss and I share your wondering why and the frustrating feeling that we'll never know. Hang in there. We are.
My nephew hung himself in April... I just keep asking myself why why why? He didn't even leave a note. Sometimes I feel angry- why did he leave us?! How could he think that no one cared? If he would've called and said he was hurting and needed someone to be there he would have! His death (only age 19) has had such an effect on the whole family... so many tears and heartache. I just keep wondering why and will never know...
I am sorry for your lost I know that you are wondering but only god knows no one knows how it feels really so stop wondering and look forward one day god will give you the answer
its not your fault. stay strong and make him proud
It's not his fault he didn't feel he could reach out. Maybe you and the rest of the family gave the impression that you wouldn't care, and now suddenly act all concerned now that he's gone. Family and friends always pretend to be shocked and concerned after a suicide, never before.
Personally, I don't think people reach out because they feel ashamed. There is also the threat of being hauled off to the looney bin, losing your job and forever being branded as suicidal. Nobody wants to tell someone, "Hey, by the way, I think I'm going to kill myself". Again, I don't think anyone who commits suicide intentionally wants to hurt anyone else. They just want the pain to end...
Toughy, I agree with you 100%. My brother committed suicide 3 weeks ago today. He was a very private person and couldn't easily open up. I know he wouldn't have been able to face "the looney bin" again. He went there 5 years ago after a breakdown, due to his wife having an affair, and subsequent divorce. She had a smart lawyer, and he had a soft heart. After all she put him through she walked off with half his finances too. For months now he has been under financial stress. I think the continued stress spilt over into depression. I know he couldn't face going through again what he went through 5 years ago. My heart breaks because I knew he was stressed. I reached out to him on many occasions, but he wouldn't admit the depth of his despair. I live in another country so I couldn't talk to him directly but rather on the phone, what'sapp etc. He had an exceptionally good Easter and 50th birthday weekend with friends and family. Then on the night of easter Monday he hanged himself. I so wish it was different, but he must have been in too much pain for too long. What an immense loss to us his family, his girlfriend, his young children and his friends
suicidal as I understand is a self punishing: is the denial of self pardon, is the frustration of acts that are impossible for us to change, the denial of aware self , they are thousands of negative reasons. it s time to start counting the positive facts in ur life and informed doctor our feelings and pains and lock of interest in life, do not be ashen, depression is a sickness like any other. my doctor toll me 23 years ago there has been struggles no more bigger than the power of my love for my 2 daughters that at that time the little one was 5 years old . My husband take me to the doctor and I was declare major depression and offer me a bed to stay as long as I need. saying that there was women that has 2 or more years there, my respond to the doctor was: I can't, I have a 5 years old child to take care of , return home and start taking my medicine for life. I still live in the same home with my same family. thank GOD , I will ask the lord to full fill your heart with love for others because given is how you received .
It's often not about thinking people don't care; it's more likely he just was at a point or moment where he himself didn't. In other words its not about you but him, and this really isn't selfish as some would like to think cause we're already talking about an already self-sacrificing mindset. Further, when someone crosses the line of having the will to take their own life, there is often little in the world they're out looking for to truly stop them or think is worthy enough to continue on living.
I agree its not a selfish act, I thinks it a pain that most want gone and usually its been going on for along time and something finally sets them to their breaking point