The very idea that someone wants to die is frightening. As a result, suicide is not an easy topic to discuss for many people. But suicide is preventable and talking about suicide does save lives. If one person can be saved from suicide by talking about it with someone, it is worth it; especially if that someone is you.
How to Handle Suicidal Thinking
Talking About Suicide Save Lives
I am amazed at the many powerful and wise comments I have received from you about suicide. I asked you to tell me why you think people contemplate suicide and you had some amazing insights. It is clear that it is usually not just one thing that compels someone to feel suicidal. You said it is a combination of a lot of things, including:
- pain
- loneliness
- rejection
- abuse
- guilt
- depression
- helplessness
- hopelessness
More than anything, I believe people who live with depression and suicidal thoughts feel hopeless. They are hurting so badly and want nothing more than for the pain to end. Unfortunately, they cannot imagine the pain ever going away. They cannot see the light at the end of the very dark and lonely tunnel they have found themselves traveling down. Have you ever felt this way?
Why Is Suicide So Common Among College Students?
For most students, college is a time of “firsts.” For the first time, you’re faced with living outside your parents’ home, managing your own schedule, deciding on an academic trajectory, working or taking out loans to pay for school, making new friends, getting to know a new environment, etc. Trying a new thing is always going to be a bit stressful, even if you’re excited about it. Trying a million new things all at once? Very stressful.
Without support, self-care, and a certain level of familiarity with mental health, times of transition and stress are very likely to impact us emotionally. College is a time when loneliness, hopelessness, depression, and anxiety have a lot of opportunities to take hold of you. On top of that, the typical age range of a college student (18-24) is a time when many mental illnesses manifest in patients. Whether you’re in college or not, these years are when your brain may develop symptoms of anxiety, depression, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, etc.
Between the stage of brain development that most college students are in, and the stress level they’re experiencing in a time of high expectations and constant change, it’s no surprise that suicide rates are especially high within this particular population.
So what can you do about it? If you or someone you know is headed to college, get on the school’s official website and explore what kinds of resources they offer for mental health. Most campuses have health centers to support their students’ needs, and many of those now offer services like counseling or support groups that are free for students. Get familiar with that resource so that if you need it, you can use it! And even though college is a busy time, make sure that caring for yourself is a top priority. Adequate sleep, nutritious food, exercise, other types of rest, and social support are all crucial elements of a healthy college experience.
Don't Believe the Lies...You Matter
It is not uncommon for a person’s circumstances or their self-image to cause someone to think negatively about themselves.
Oftentimes, people consider suicide because they are unable to find any reason to make living worthwhile. They think their problems are unsolvable and they feel completely out of control. I believe first and foremost; hopelessness is a serious spiritual problem rooted in lies and faulty thinking. Anytime you believe lies that depression and suicidal thoughts tell you about yourself, you are listening to the wrong voices.
Jennifer said suicide has been a daily struggle for the past nine years due to being sexually abused. "I feel like suicide is the only option I have left, the only chance at peace I'll ever have. I just want the pain to stop. It's as if something will always be missing and life will never be quite right." There is no denying that the pain of sexual abuse can be tremendous. But the abuse is not Jennifer’s fault. She needs to find the hope that she can overcome this pain. Many people just like Jennifer have overcome abuse by talking about it with a professional counselor. She needs to learn how to stop punishing herself for her abuser’s actions.
Reach Out to Talk About the Pain...Never Give Up
Have you ever gone through something so painful you were convinced the pain was never going to go away? Many people who contemplate suicide say something like: I don't want to die. I just want the pain to stop. They think, "Because I’m in intense pain today, I will always be in pain." It is this kind of faulty thinking that can lead people down the path that leads to suicide.
Kas wrote: I think about suicide pretty much every second of the day. It seems like it's my only choice anymore. I know it's not the answer, but at times I just feel like I can't move on with this life anymore.
Substance Abuse Magnifies Suicidal Thoughts and Behaviors
If you are already living with suicidal ideation, it is important to remember that substance abuse only works to magnify these thoughts and behaviors. Alcohol makes depression worse, impairs thinking and judgment, and increases impulsivity. There is no safety without sobriety. Additionally, coping skills like alcohol, drugs, and self-harm, all fail – because they never address the actual root of the pain. They only serve to temporarily cover it up.
Jordyn wrote: Some people have suicidal thoughts because they want to escape the isolation, pain, and rejection from the environment surrounding them. Others simply feel they have reached a state of loneliness and depression in their lives to the point where their thoughts become so negative, that they can't find any other reason to live. They would rather not confront it because of the fear of hurt that comes along with it. I feel that when you go through times of depression and think about suicide, God is there by your side. He will not abandon you. It is only a matter of whether you reach out to Him through prayer that you will be free from these thoughts.
Mandy also wrote: "Part of the very reason people do what they do is because they have failed. Suicide is the result of irrational thinking in the illness of DEPRESSION. And when people reach that level, just as my father did on the 18th of January 2020, it was a reminder that even the strong fall... "
Depression is a real illness and needs real meaningful help. If you're thinking, "I just want the pain to stop", let us help you. To learn more about depression, please read this guest blog from our partner, Centerstone.
This isnt for debate or controversy. Every person struggling with this crippling illness has a story of their own & i can write a book on mine which started back in my tender years of elementary to this very day. Why God has me here only he knows but i do think or would like to is God wouldnt bring me back from what could have been everlasting damnation only to kick me back there. In either case depression is too real, those who struggle with it did not ask for this curse, it seemed to cherry pick the lucky ones it feel it has control over, to further destroy ones existence by attacking the mind into believing we are no good. More is the way society treats you as well, you never can afford to let them know your thinking. They use it for a playground unaware depression can hit, strike or afflict at any age, race or creed. During my years in the military i couldnt afford to let anyone know my struggles with depression, it was unheard of & would open a door to dismiss you. While in the military it got worse which forced me to go on medication to this day or i wouldnt be writing this. There may be many who try to understand but it isnt a good place to place yourself in. They dont get it as much as theyd like to help. Others try to analyze what they hope never befall them. Others state it is a weakness.....a easy cowardly thing to say until it afflicts them. Much is to learn from this silent killer in itself. It affects your health, mental state of consciousness. Meds can only keep the curse at bay as long as you stay on a faithful regimen, there is no cure, so the studies go on.
Suicidal for 40 years. Repeatedly tried and failed.... so tired. Why don't they legalize assisted suicide?
Just curious how old do you have to be on this site
I dont know how to do this but i w i ll try i am 52 years old and never married i lost my job 6 months ago never had anything or accomplished anything in my life dont know how to have a relationship i have a daughter who is about to go to college and dont have anyone to talk to my family is mall and really disfunctional my mother i had to come stay with her but my whole life she never believed i could or would amount to anything. And she os right she says thing$ to me i just walk away its every day and noone to talk to sucks if i ask my sister any thing she gets mad and cant burden my daughter she is about to start a new life i tell her to go to college get away from this messed up family. So i want to get away too so i am about to commit suicide i will be c completely alone now the pain of living is terrible
You have an amazing daughter about to attend college and your daughter really needs you. She is a reason to live. Please don't give up. Look for a support group or a church to join. There is a really great group called "Celebrate Recovery" that is for anyone with hurts. There is probably a group in your area and it is free - https://www.celebraterecovery.com/index.php/cr-groups You can make a change and turn your life in a new direction. It is never too late for a new beginning. Your daughter will be so proud of you for stepping out into something new.
I get tired of my life and have contemplated suicide before I'm a 35 yr old male married 14yrs two pre teen kids boy and girl Im in a financial rut no matter how much I make is not enough I can't convince my wife to move off her parents property they are a financial burden and dont take responsibility and make good choices with their money I married her not the whole family privacy is rare I seem to be always looked down on by her brothers and sisters my relationship with my mom is terrible my dad passed when I was 19 we were best friends my life has been a downward spiral since I almost OD when I was 20yrs old on meth I woke up ice cold with blue lips and blue finger nails I feel like Im not needed my job sucks my wife spends so much money shopping for name brand items its sickening at times ive made 4k in two weeks and it's never enough maybe I'm not enough...
You really have a lot of different stressors going on in your life. Have you and your wife ever tried going to counseling? It sounds like you work hard for your family, but that the spending is out of control. Suicide is not an answer. Communicate with your wife and get a mediator/counselor to help you both work through the financial stress, to work on a budget together, and to deal with the stress of being near extended family. You sound like a good father and provider. You are enough and the money you are making is enough. It is time to talk through all of these issues openly with the help of a trusted professional.