The very idea that someone wants to die is frightening. As a result, suicide is not an easy topic to discuss for many people. But suicide is preventable and talking about suicide does save lives. If one person can be saved from suicide by talking about it with someone, it is worth it; especially if that someone is you.
How to Handle Suicidal Thinking
Talking About Suicide Save Lives
I am amazed at the many powerful and wise comments I have received from you about suicide. I asked you to tell me why you think people contemplate suicide and you had some amazing insights. It is clear that it is usually not just one thing that compels someone to feel suicidal. You said it is a combination of a lot of things, including:
- pain
- loneliness
- rejection
- abuse
- guilt
- depression
- helplessness
- hopelessness
More than anything, I believe people who live with depression and suicidal thoughts feel hopeless. They are hurting so badly and want nothing more than for the pain to end. Unfortunately, they cannot imagine the pain ever going away. They cannot see the light at the end of the very dark and lonely tunnel they have found themselves traveling down. Have you ever felt this way?
Why Is Suicide So Common Among College Students?
For most students, college is a time of “firsts.” For the first time, you’re faced with living outside your parents’ home, managing your own schedule, deciding on an academic trajectory, working or taking out loans to pay for school, making new friends, getting to know a new environment, etc. Trying a new thing is always going to be a bit stressful, even if you’re excited about it. Trying a million new things all at once? Very stressful.
Without support, self-care, and a certain level of familiarity with mental health, times of transition and stress are very likely to impact us emotionally. College is a time when loneliness, hopelessness, depression, and anxiety have a lot of opportunities to take hold of you. On top of that, the typical age range of a college student (18-24) is a time when many mental illnesses manifest in patients. Whether you’re in college or not, these years are when your brain may develop symptoms of anxiety, depression, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, etc.
Between the stage of brain development that most college students are in, and the stress level they’re experiencing in a time of high expectations and constant change, it’s no surprise that suicide rates are especially high within this particular population.
So what can you do about it? If you or someone you know is headed to college, get on the school’s official website and explore what kinds of resources they offer for mental health. Most campuses have health centers to support their students’ needs, and many of those now offer services like counseling or support groups that are free for students. Get familiar with that resource so that if you need it, you can use it! And even though college is a busy time, make sure that caring for yourself is a top priority. Adequate sleep, nutritious food, exercise, other types of rest, and social support are all crucial elements of a healthy college experience.
Don't Believe the Lies...You Matter
It is not uncommon for a person’s circumstances or their self-image to cause someone to think negatively about themselves.
Oftentimes, people consider suicide because they are unable to find any reason to make living worthwhile. They think their problems are unsolvable and they feel completely out of control. I believe first and foremost; hopelessness is a serious spiritual problem rooted in lies and faulty thinking. Anytime you believe lies that depression and suicidal thoughts tell you about yourself, you are listening to the wrong voices.
Jennifer said suicide has been a daily struggle for the past nine years due to being sexually abused. "I feel like suicide is the only option I have left, the only chance at peace I'll ever have. I just want the pain to stop. It's as if something will always be missing and life will never be quite right." There is no denying that the pain of sexual abuse can be tremendous. But the abuse is not Jennifer’s fault. She needs to find the hope that she can overcome this pain. Many people just like Jennifer have overcome abuse by talking about it with a professional counselor. She needs to learn how to stop punishing herself for her abuser’s actions.
Reach Out to Talk About the Pain...Never Give Up
Have you ever gone through something so painful you were convinced the pain was never going to go away? Many people who contemplate suicide say something like: I don't want to die. I just want the pain to stop. They think, "Because I’m in intense pain today, I will always be in pain." It is this kind of faulty thinking that can lead people down the path that leads to suicide.
Kas wrote: I think about suicide pretty much every second of the day. It seems like it's my only choice anymore. I know it's not the answer, but at times I just feel like I can't move on with this life anymore.
Substance Abuse Magnifies Suicidal Thoughts and Behaviors
If you are already living with suicidal ideation, it is important to remember that substance abuse only works to magnify these thoughts and behaviors. Alcohol makes depression worse, impairs thinking and judgment, and increases impulsivity. There is no safety without sobriety. Additionally, coping skills like alcohol, drugs, and self-harm, all fail – because they never address the actual root of the pain. They only serve to temporarily cover it up.
Jordyn wrote: Some people have suicidal thoughts because they want to escape the isolation, pain, and rejection from the environment surrounding them. Others simply feel they have reached a state of loneliness and depression in their lives to the point where their thoughts become so negative, that they can't find any other reason to live. They would rather not confront it because of the fear of hurt that comes along with it. I feel that when you go through times of depression and think about suicide, God is there by your side. He will not abandon you. It is only a matter of whether you reach out to Him through prayer that you will be free from these thoughts.
Mandy also wrote: "Part of the very reason people do what they do is because they have failed. Suicide is the result of irrational thinking in the illness of DEPRESSION. And when people reach that level, just as my father did on the 18th of January 2020, it was a reminder that even the strong fall... "
Depression is a real illness and needs real meaningful help. If you're thinking, "I just want the pain to stop", let us help you. To learn more about depression, please read this guest blog from our partner, Centerstone.
I can understand the feeling of not only abuse but also the feeling like dying part. I also have dreams and even imagine killing myself but at the time I always wish to live for something but how can someone when you either feel like your not wanted or the fact that you are being to force to live a life that you never ask to have. People always say that you have to live for yourself or the so called people that cared but who really can say someone truly care without placing some type of other views that face the same thing instead of truly understanding what someone else is going through because everyone's life is not the same and comparing someone else's doesn't make it understandable. It isn't as easy as saying you care because truly those words always feel false because someone random so called care when really they know nothing about you and even if they did get to know you they could never truly understand how that person felt unless they could magically get inside their mind and pain that weighs on them which may seem different from others aspect of what they consider pain. We all have a breaking point and judging your own onto someone will not make you understand because its not something your worried about such as work or even school while some face bullying and can ignore it there are some that affect them in ways that is shown as their worst fear even isolation from having inner doubts of yourself. I always hear my family tell me to get over it butto me I'm not strong like them and I'm sensitive to things since I grew up fragile from all the expectations and abuse as well as the lack of attention and love from my family which made me feel like I was more of a burden being born and always wishing to never exist because I always felt that life would have been better because I could never be what my family wanted me to be. Growing up I just felt like I was just there but never really there because of how I grew up having to be so I would constantly punch walls, pull my hair, and even stab my leg with pencils as I got to middle school which gotten worse from the verbal and physical bullying and started to burn myself as I got to high school. I sometimes just felt nothing and sometimes my body just felt numb not even feeling like eating and constantly sleeping and crying silently. Nobody seemed to even noticed and I just have no clue why I try to look at something positive when it always fails to turn out to be something good. Life sucks and those that fit always seem better at coping but it only makes me even more depressed because no matter how much I smile and laugh deep down I just feel like dying and cursing my very existence and not being someone my family wished to be. Where is hope when you have nothing but walls and walls of darkness that always find its way to hold you down and when you feel like you have something to fight for then that small light of hope is just crushed under the massive weight of expectations and living which in itself can be a very hard thing to get out of.
I hate myself.. I'm the reason of my pain and everything that happens to be and the people surrounded by me. I'm 16 years old and have the brain of 6 yr, I had social anxiety disorder in past it stopped me from living I really was life less and lame, I tried to overcome it and did but when I did I found out that in this time I was trying to overcome my anxiety people did amillion things, I feel like empty anyways I overcame this too -kinda- then I was like I want to have friends and enjoy the rest of myself I joined a gym to keep on healthy and see new people well I did talk to a good amount of people but they didn't consider me as a friend.. I went through this and tried to have friends in school, the same thing happened.. I told myself maybe I just can't find anyone that understand me but then found out that I was the reason why people didn't want to talk to me anymore.. The reason why they hated me, Idk I have this magic that make people hate me and when I tried to change and be charismatic and stuff but I had that magic too that makes my unlearnable that made my hate myself even more, another reason that made me really hate myself that my childhood wasn't a good one I was doing stuff that a kid in 12 yr can't and shouldn't do but I just didn't know my parents knew it but didn't say anything from the shameness.....life to me now is like turning the pages of an empty book,
It's always assumed that a suicidal person is mentally unstable. No one ever considers that it might be that the culture is so unhealthy and dysfunctional that a healthy minded rational person refuses to live under such tyranny. No average citizen fully programmed into a culture hardly ever considers the possibility that they may be mentally unhealthy. This is what the rational suicide sees and knows.
I just recently lost my wife to suicide. She was my wife, my business partner is our two-man advertising agency which we just started and are trying to make ends meet. After my mom passed on, I only have her as family as I'm an on my child. My relatives are all abroad and have their own lives. When she died, I lost it all. My wife, my business partner, my family. Working the business seems difficult because we had separate roles in the company. I can't do hers. Our finances were mostly receive and pay as we built up the business. So no savings, a rented house. In grief I can't even try to pick myself out of bed let alone think about work. No support system. Friends all disappeared after the first week because that is how long it takes to grieve to them. I leaned on another friend for support, but she too has her own life and going through my emotions can be frustration. Now I feel alone, isolated, misunderstood, guilty for being a burden, and weak for not being able to be okay faster to get on with things. I try a little everyday. Then fall again. Everyday I am caught between wanting to end my life too or continuing to keep her in my memory. The counsellor I see is a bit pushy, inexperienced, and everyone wants a timeline. It's been a month and I'm supposed to be better. The home we have is empty without her. And this was someone who spent 24/7 with me due to working together as well as staying together. We didn't have many friends because we were busy and rather introverted. I don't know what to do, I feel lost, alone, and hopeless. Friends have said, go out with friends more and be with company. Same friends who are not there to do it as they feel uncomfortable. Nor sure why I'm writing this here. Not coping well. And I'm struggling to see past this and keep thinking of the same way out.
My condolences. I cant say for sure but I would like to believe that your wife would want you to go on and keep trying. Do you have a local support group you can join? In reading an awful lot about this topic, I have come to find that although there are exceptions, generally speaking, people who havent been through this or shared similar feelings, can't quite understand where youre coming from, and a part of me gets that. I wouldnt wish these feelings on anyone. But people who have been through and share similar feelings, tend to be better listeners and supporters for each other. Best wishes.
My name is Raven...ive been sexually molested by my biologic laents who are still trying to get me bavk. Long story. Ive had severe depression to the point where i dont want to wake up...i just want to go to sleep so all my ain can go away. My grandmother treats me like a dog and puts me down 24/7 i have no reason to stay hre. I have a high tolorence to pain so cuttinmyself foesnt hurt but still relieves a bit of stress and all....she pushes me to the side andangles money over my head. I reach out for help but no one beleives me since her son tag teams sith her and they are both pathological liars...they know i hate my life and want to doe...always rubbing it in my face. She says im not getting took out of the house bc thats what i want...ve never been happy...i am so sorry to be a burden to yall but i needed to vent before i finally end my pain...tell my sister i love her those who know me....god bless yall...