Why Do People End Their Life by Suicide?

The very idea that someone wants to die is frightening. As a result, suicide is not an easy topic to discuss for many people. But suicide is preventable and talking about suicide does save lives. If one person can be saved from suicide by talking about it with someone, it is worth it; especially if that someone is you.

How to Handle Suicidal Thinking

Talking About Suicide Save Lives

I am amazed at the many powerful and wise comments I have received from you about suicide. I asked you to tell me why you think people contemplate suicide and you had some amazing insights. It is clear that it is usually not just one thing that compels someone to feel suicidal. You said it is a combination of a lot of things, including:

  • pain
  • loneliness
  • rejection
  • abuse
  • guilt
  • depression
  • helplessness
  • hopelessness

More than anything, I believe people who live with depression and suicidal thoughts feel hopeless. They are hurting so badly and want nothing more than for the pain to end. Unfortunately, they cannot imagine the pain ever going away. They cannot see the light at the end of the very dark and lonely tunnel they have found themselves traveling down. Have you ever felt this way?

Why Is Suicide So Common Among College Students?

For most students, college is a time of “firsts.” For the first time, you’re faced with living outside your parents’ home, managing your own schedule, deciding on an academic trajectory, working or taking out loans to pay for school, making new friends, getting to know a new environment, etc. Trying a new thing is always going to be a bit stressful, even if you’re excited about it. Trying a million new things all at once? Very stressful.

Without support, self-care, and a certain level of familiarity with mental health, times of transition and stress are very likely to impact us emotionally. College is a time when loneliness, hopelessness, depression, and anxiety have a lot of opportunities to take hold of you. On top of that, the typical age range of a college student (18-24) is a time when many mental illnesses manifest in patients. Whether you’re in college or not, these years are when your brain may develop symptoms of anxiety, depression, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, etc.

Between the stage of brain development that most college students are in, and the stress level they’re experiencing in a time of high expectations and constant change, it’s no surprise that suicide rates are especially high within this particular population.

So what can you do about it? If you or someone you know is headed to college, get on the school’s official website and explore what kinds of resources they offer for mental health. Most campuses have health centers to support their students’ needs, and many of those now offer services like counseling or support groups that are free for students. Get familiar with that resource so that if you need it, you can use it! And even though college is a busy time, make sure that caring for yourself is a top priority. Adequate sleep, nutritious food, exercise, other types of rest, and social support are all crucial elements of a healthy college experience.

Don't Believe the Lies...You Matter

It is not uncommon for a person’s circumstances or their self-image to cause someone to think negatively about themselves.

Oftentimes, people consider suicide because they are unable to find any reason to make living worthwhile. They think their problems are unsolvable and they feel completely out of control. I believe first and foremost; hopelessness is a serious spiritual problem rooted in lies and faulty thinking. Anytime you believe lies that depression and suicidal thoughts tell you about yourself, you are listening to the wrong voices.

Jennifer said suicide has been a daily struggle for the past nine years due to being sexually abused. "I feel like suicide is the only option I have left, the only chance at peace I'll ever have. I just want the pain to stop. It's as if something will always be missing and life will never be quite right." There is no denying that the pain of sexual abuse can be tremendous. But the abuse is not Jennifer’s fault. She needs to find the hope that she can overcome this pain. Many people just like Jennifer have overcome abuse by talking about it with a professional counselor. She needs to learn how to stop punishing herself for her abuser’s actions.

Reach Out to Talk About the Pain...Never Give Up

Have you ever gone through something so painful you were convinced the pain was never going to go away? Many people who contemplate suicide say something like: I don't want to die. I just want the pain to stop. They think, "Because I’m in intense pain today, I will always be in pain." It is this kind of faulty thinking that can lead people down the path that leads to suicide.

Kas wrote: I think about suicide pretty much every second of the day. It seems like it's my only choice anymore. I know it's not the answer, but at times I just feel like I can't move on with this life anymore.

Substance Abuse Magnifies Suicidal Thoughts and Behaviors

If you are already living with suicidal ideation, it is important to remember that substance abuse only works to magnify these thoughts and behaviors. Alcohol makes depression worse, impairs thinking and judgment, and increases impulsivity. There is no safety without sobriety. Additionally, coping skills like alcohol, drugs, and self-harm, all fail – because they never address the actual root of the pain. They only serve to temporarily cover it up.

Jordyn wrote: Some people have suicidal thoughts because they want to escape the isolation, pain, and rejection from the environment surrounding them. Others simply feel they have reached a state of loneliness and depression in their lives to the point where their thoughts become so negative, that they can't find any other reason to live. They would rather not confront it because of the fear of hurt that comes along with it. I feel that when you go through times of depression and think about suicide, God is there by your side. He will not abandon you. It is only a matter of whether you reach out to Him through prayer that you will be free from these thoughts.

Mandy also wrote: "Part of the very reason people do what they do is because they have failed. Suicide is the result of irrational thinking in the illness of DEPRESSION. And when people reach that level, just as my father did on the 18th of January 2020, it was a reminder that even the strong fall... "

Depression is a real illness and needs real meaningful help. If you're thinking, "I just want the pain to stop", let us help you. To learn more about depression, please read this guest blog from our partner, Centerstone.

TheHopeLine Team
For over 30 years, TheHopeLine has been helping students and young adults in crisis. Our team is made up of writers and mental health professionals who care deeply about helping others.
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443 comments on “Why Do People End Their Life by Suicide?”

  1. I feel like I should commit suicide because why no the only ppl that love me is my boyfriend and god nobody else I cry every night when I say I wanna die I say that I'm kidding but I'm not! When ppl ask me am I okay I say yeah why wouldn't I be but when I say hat I'm not really okay

    1. You are valuable and worthy. It's good you are reaching out to talk about this. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that will call you and help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/ You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.

  2. I want to die. My husband died 5 years ago this month. He left a journal with how he felt - apologizing for the abusive parts of our connection and recalling the loving ones. We were together 24 years. My identity is caught up in his life. We have our daughter who’s 19. She has no connection with life like myself. She has experienced 5 years of meds and therapy. In and out patient. I’ve been there every step of the way. My mother who’s 84 lives with us and her health condition is progressively become worse. I feel I made many moves to accommodate everyone. My efforts seem fruitless. I have dated only to become used and not good enough in the eyes of these men. Actually makes me miss my spouse more. I’m thinking of pills and carbon monoxide. I plan to leave a note for my family. And changing my will- to solely support my child. I’m sick everyday and have no interest in life. I love horses and have used them in the past to help me. But after this weekend and revisiting with the old man friend- I feel he looks down on me as just a tool. I really miss my family. I want to join my husband. It’s not the same anymore. My daughter is watching me fall apart and that’s not good.

  3. Here is my 2 cent...
    I been wanting to die since i was 12...and i first tried to commit suicide when i was 13.
    Im now 42. And for me i have tried to see a doctor i have tried a whole bunch of anti depressent pills and i have tried counseling and so far no luck.
    My last attempt to kill my self landed me 2 months in a mentalhealth hospital i lost my job and my family.
    So after i got out from hospital i had to live at the only place i could afford a rented room in a gouse with 8 drug addicts, so that wasnt really helpful.
    Now i have spend 3 months at a friends sofa. But in a few weeks i will start a new job .... and i will get my own place to live so thats good. Can wait to sit on a air madrass and lusten to my head just scream and scream and my hands start to shake again.
    Makes you wonder how much worse can it be on the otherside.

  4. Nothing has gone right for me in the last few years I lost my job. I'm out of money. All I'm good for is being used by others I'm worth more dead than alive. I don't want to exist anymore when I look at the present and future all that I have experienced is bad things happening to me. When I look at the future there is only pain and despair as far as I can see. I am tired of my life being Groundhog Day

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