The very idea that someone wants to die is frightening. As a result, suicide is not an easy topic to discuss for many people. But suicide is preventable and talking about suicide does save lives. If one person can be saved from suicide by talking about it with someone, it is worth it; especially if that someone is you.
How to Handle Suicidal Thinking
Talking About Suicide Save Lives
I am amazed at the many powerful and wise comments I have received from you about suicide. I asked you to tell me why you think people contemplate suicide and you had some amazing insights. It is clear that it is usually not just one thing that compels someone to feel suicidal. You said it is a combination of a lot of things, including:
- pain
- loneliness
- rejection
- abuse
- guilt
- depression
- helplessness
- hopelessness
More than anything, I believe people who live with depression and suicidal thoughts feel hopeless. They are hurting so badly and want nothing more than for the pain to end. Unfortunately, they cannot imagine the pain ever going away. They cannot see the light at the end of the very dark and lonely tunnel they have found themselves traveling down. Have you ever felt this way?
Why Is Suicide So Common Among College Students?
For most students, college is a time of “firsts.” For the first time, you’re faced with living outside your parents’ home, managing your own schedule, deciding on an academic trajectory, working or taking out loans to pay for school, making new friends, getting to know a new environment, etc. Trying a new thing is always going to be a bit stressful, even if you’re excited about it. Trying a million new things all at once? Very stressful.
Without support, self-care, and a certain level of familiarity with mental health, times of transition and stress are very likely to impact us emotionally. College is a time when loneliness, hopelessness, depression, and anxiety have a lot of opportunities to take hold of you. On top of that, the typical age range of a college student (18-24) is a time when many mental illnesses manifest in patients. Whether you’re in college or not, these years are when your brain may develop symptoms of anxiety, depression, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, etc.
Between the stage of brain development that most college students are in, and the stress level they’re experiencing in a time of high expectations and constant change, it’s no surprise that suicide rates are especially high within this particular population.
So what can you do about it? If you or someone you know is headed to college, get on the school’s official website and explore what kinds of resources they offer for mental health. Most campuses have health centers to support their students’ needs, and many of those now offer services like counseling or support groups that are free for students. Get familiar with that resource so that if you need it, you can use it! And even though college is a busy time, make sure that caring for yourself is a top priority. Adequate sleep, nutritious food, exercise, other types of rest, and social support are all crucial elements of a healthy college experience.
Don't Believe the Lies...You Matter
It is not uncommon for a person’s circumstances or their self-image to cause someone to think negatively about themselves.
Oftentimes, people consider suicide because they are unable to find any reason to make living worthwhile. They think their problems are unsolvable and they feel completely out of control. I believe first and foremost; hopelessness is a serious spiritual problem rooted in lies and faulty thinking. Anytime you believe lies that depression and suicidal thoughts tell you about yourself, you are listening to the wrong voices.
Jennifer said suicide has been a daily struggle for the past nine years due to being sexually abused. "I feel like suicide is the only option I have left, the only chance at peace I'll ever have. I just want the pain to stop. It's as if something will always be missing and life will never be quite right." There is no denying that the pain of sexual abuse can be tremendous. But the abuse is not Jennifer’s fault. She needs to find the hope that she can overcome this pain. Many people just like Jennifer have overcome abuse by talking about it with a professional counselor. She needs to learn how to stop punishing herself for her abuser’s actions.
Reach Out to Talk About the Pain...Never Give Up
Have you ever gone through something so painful you were convinced the pain was never going to go away? Many people who contemplate suicide say something like: I don't want to die. I just want the pain to stop. They think, "Because I’m in intense pain today, I will always be in pain." It is this kind of faulty thinking that can lead people down the path that leads to suicide.
Kas wrote: I think about suicide pretty much every second of the day. It seems like it's my only choice anymore. I know it's not the answer, but at times I just feel like I can't move on with this life anymore.
Substance Abuse Magnifies Suicidal Thoughts and Behaviors
If you are already living with suicidal ideation, it is important to remember that substance abuse only works to magnify these thoughts and behaviors. Alcohol makes depression worse, impairs thinking and judgment, and increases impulsivity. There is no safety without sobriety. Additionally, coping skills like alcohol, drugs, and self-harm, all fail – because they never address the actual root of the pain. They only serve to temporarily cover it up.
Jordyn wrote: Some people have suicidal thoughts because they want to escape the isolation, pain, and rejection from the environment surrounding them. Others simply feel they have reached a state of loneliness and depression in their lives to the point where their thoughts become so negative, that they can't find any other reason to live. They would rather not confront it because of the fear of hurt that comes along with it. I feel that when you go through times of depression and think about suicide, God is there by your side. He will not abandon you. It is only a matter of whether you reach out to Him through prayer that you will be free from these thoughts.
Mandy also wrote: "Part of the very reason people do what they do is because they have failed. Suicide is the result of irrational thinking in the illness of DEPRESSION. And when people reach that level, just as my father did on the 18th of January 2020, it was a reminder that even the strong fall... "
Depression is a real illness and needs real meaningful help. If you're thinking, "I just want the pain to stop", let us help you. To learn more about depression, please read this guest blog from our partner, Centerstone.
I don't know why but most of my time I spend by thinking about way to commit suicide or self harming.I don't really want to die.I just want to have fun.I always thought I am crazy because I love to hurt myself.For me,pain is fun.I just want something to change.I hate my friends.They use me like a doll.I HATE THEM.That is why I wanna commit suicide.I have no one to talk with.They don't care about my feelings.IT'S REALLY HURT.
You are valuable and worthy and do not deserve to be treated like this. Thank you for reaching out. It's important that you continue to do this. We have a partner that will help you with the need to self-harm.
You can text them at at 1-803-570-2061 (Alternative No. 914-393-1904) Texting is available Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday 8:30 – 10:30 EST.
Their website is http://www.doorofhope4teens.org.
You can email them to doorofhope4teens@gmail.com (answered in 24/48 hrs)
Since you are feeling suicidal please talk to any of the resources below through phone, online chat or text messaging. You are important and your life is valuable.
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255
Or Chat with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/
Or Crisis Text Line 27/7 by texting “Start” to 741-741
Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.
Take a chance and reach out to Door of Hope for help. You will be glad you did. They have helped many teens and young adults we have sent them overcome self-harm.
I consider suicide everyday, I feel hopeless and unworthy, I left my longterm relationship because I felt like I wasn’t good enough, but now being on my own, I can’t afford all the bills on my own, rent is high for a small apt. I work hard everyday, and just can’t stay afloat, one extra thing like getting my car repaired leaves me struggling, and unable to catch up. I simply can’t afford to live much longer.
Lori, You are valuable and worthy! Life and bills can be very hard. Things will get better. Please do not give up. It's good you are reaching out to talk about this. How about getting an email mentor to talk to long term? It would be a woman that you can email back and for with for as long as you like about anything. Talking about our frustrations helps to deal with them. To sign up go to: https://www.thehopeline.com/emailmentors/ We also have some resources we can give you to help you with your suicidal thoughts. Please check your email. We are emailing you a private number from our partner at Centerstone that you can call for help with your suicidal thoughts. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too. Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.
I've suffered with mental illness for years now (bipolar, borderline personality disorder & emotional detachment disorder). however since the beginning of this year, I've suffered with severe depression, anxiety disorder and insomnia and I suspect I'm slowly turning into a psychopath. I've been moved from one medication to the next, been to jail, for psychology etc... but nothing seems to be working. The more help I get, the worse my depression, insomnia, anxiety and mental disorder becomes. I've confessed my sins to God, prayed and begged to Him, cried to Him and changed my bad ways but nothing seems to work. My whole life has been miserable ever since I was young. Was so lonely and broken.
I feel as though suicide is the only way out. On my birthday I'm going to commit suicide. I hope God forgives me
Lesego,
You are valuable and worthy and people care about you. It's good you are reaching out to talk about this. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.
I feel the same and it's been 9months now can't stop thinking.intact am worried everyday as if something is about bad is about to happen.I have been rejected and since 9 months now I cry each day.iv lose concentration and can't focus on everything.I tried suicide several times but I survived.I just can't stay on earth with these whole problem. am really suffering. am in a bad state now feeling lonely with heartaches n severe panics
Addison, You are valuable and worthy! It's good you are reaching out to talk about this. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.
Addison, you matter. Please do not do this to yourself. You would never realize the people around you who care for you so much. It would affect everybody. Reach out to someone. You can even contact me, just talk. Please let this thought go. I know it isn't easy, the pain is getting worse with time. But, YOU CAN DO THIS! There's something great in store for you, I'm positive.
I don't know why I saw this. Perhaps because I'm thinking about my Loved ones suicide in May of this year? I miss him so much. We have a son together. He's 16. He was our rock. We feel lonely and empty without him now. He didn't think we even cared, yet we lived our days around him. He never knew. If only he did know. It may have had an impact on his decision to end his life. That's the thing with suicide. You don't realize that you are truly loved. Now our days are filled with sadness. Complete with memories of things and places we went and did together. Even our dog is sad.
"I feel that when you go through times of depression and think about committing suicide, God is there by your side. He will not abandon you. "
I find this so offensive I barely have words. This is so demeaning!! You really have no clue what it's like to truly suffer with depression.
This is not something the sufferer will ever "get over". I have never seen god "cure" a clinically depressed person. If a god existed and actually experienced depression he would have "miracled" it out of existence. This is not just "oh I feel sad." but real physical and mental agony! There are days I would willingly cut off my right arm just to make it stop! Days that I can't even find the will to get out of bed!
The only thing to do is to survive one more hour, one more day, etc. till the urge to end it all goes away... but it always returns.... over and over.
Jim, We understand your concern for this comment that is included in our blog. Those are not our words, but the words of someone that reached out to our radio show and made this statement. Jordyn, that made this comment, struggled with suicidal thoughts and depression and her way of coping was to reach out to God, in prayer, to help her know she was not alone and to help her overcome her thoughts of depression and loneliness. You are right, depression is not something you can just "get over" and it is not "just feeling sad". Please know that we do care about you and appreciate your feedback and comment. If there is anything we can do to help, please let us know. You are important and your are worthy and you do not have to struggle alone with your depression and thoughts of suicide.
There is no help for me. it's just a matter of what's the easiest way to kill myself. I don't want to leave a mess for anyone to clean up and gross them out. All I really need is love. a person to hold and kissed share my self with... I'm 44 and have been with my wife around 30 years and we just had our 21st wedding anniversary. But my wife told me about 15 years ago she didn't love me anymore and I believe her still to this day. We have 2 kids together and she has 2 kids by another man while we were repeated for a few years. one problem is her coldest daugher which is my stepdaughter who is 24 i have been having an affear with for a couple years and I'm so in love with her i can't even think about any one else. We know it's not right but it just happened and I can't stop it. I love her and her son more than lofe. I'm so lost.i don't have time now to finish this story. maybe later if I'm still around
Robby, You are valuable and worthy! It's good you are reaching out to talk about this. No matter what you have done...God will forgive you. Just think about the people in your life that do care about you. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.
Mohmmad
you want the truth i have gun i check it 100 times a day , and i keep waiting that something might change , life is so hard i do not feel it worth living , right now i just want this depression that eating my brain out to end ,i want every thing to end , they keep saying am not alone , but am all alone no one understand what am going through , not to mention no matter what i say they keep getting judgmental saying how stupid i am how silly i am how much am not suppose to feel this way , but what i can do i wish it stops i wish every thing to stop i wish every one around me just vanish , am only a live because of my internal strength only , every one around me making it worse , they just putting me down and i just want every thing to stop , i want every thing to stop
and in my horrible country there is no help for people like me , our lives just has no value to any one ,
i feel so much want this to end
Mohmmad, You are valuable and worthy! It's good you are reaching out to talk about this. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. This page has a list of crisis information and also a list of crisis centers around the world. https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources. How about signing up for an email mentor? It would be a man that you can talk to through email for as long as you like. Just go here to sign up and to find some other resources for help: https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/. Never give up on yourself. Please chat with one of our HopeCoaches. We care. We are sending you all of these resources to your email address in case you do not see them here.
Do you know why you always survive?
Because God has a purpose on you. Try reading bible so that you can find life its the most effective way to heal depression or suicide.
I feel the same way. After28 yrs, my husband just suddenly began treating me as though I were NOTHING!!! And I am at the point where I don’t believe anything is going to be able to stop me from getting relief from this unbearable suffering and heartache. It’s all I think about. I want it so bad! Because if this is how life is going to be....I don’t want any part of it anymore. I didn’t do anything wrong but I am abused every single day...& get no affection or positive attention EVER! I bought a rope today. And I’m not even afraid. And I am alone...& I can’t think of any reason to put it off anymore