The very idea that someone wants to die is frightening. As a result, suicide is not an easy topic to discuss for many people. But suicide is preventable and talking about suicide does save lives. If one person can be saved from suicide by talking about it with someone, it is worth it; especially if that someone is you.
How to Handle Suicidal Thinking
Talking About Suicide Save Lives
I am amazed at the many powerful and wise comments I have received from you about suicide. I asked you to tell me why you think people contemplate suicide and you had some amazing insights. It is clear that it is usually not just one thing that compels someone to feel suicidal. You said it is a combination of a lot of things, including:
- pain
- loneliness
- rejection
- abuse
- guilt
- depression
- helplessness
- hopelessness
More than anything, I believe people who live with depression and suicidal thoughts feel hopeless. They are hurting so badly and want nothing more than for the pain to end. Unfortunately, they cannot imagine the pain ever going away. They cannot see the light at the end of the very dark and lonely tunnel they have found themselves traveling down. Have you ever felt this way?
Why Is Suicide So Common Among College Students?
For most students, college is a time of “firsts.” For the first time, you’re faced with living outside your parents’ home, managing your own schedule, deciding on an academic trajectory, working or taking out loans to pay for school, making new friends, getting to know a new environment, etc. Trying a new thing is always going to be a bit stressful, even if you’re excited about it. Trying a million new things all at once? Very stressful.
Without support, self-care, and a certain level of familiarity with mental health, times of transition and stress are very likely to impact us emotionally. College is a time when loneliness, hopelessness, depression, and anxiety have a lot of opportunities to take hold of you. On top of that, the typical age range of a college student (18-24) is a time when many mental illnesses manifest in patients. Whether you’re in college or not, these years are when your brain may develop symptoms of anxiety, depression, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, etc.
Between the stage of brain development that most college students are in, and the stress level they’re experiencing in a time of high expectations and constant change, it’s no surprise that suicide rates are especially high within this particular population.
So what can you do about it? If you or someone you know is headed to college, get on the school’s official website and explore what kinds of resources they offer for mental health. Most campuses have health centers to support their students’ needs, and many of those now offer services like counseling or support groups that are free for students. Get familiar with that resource so that if you need it, you can use it! And even though college is a busy time, make sure that caring for yourself is a top priority. Adequate sleep, nutritious food, exercise, other types of rest, and social support are all crucial elements of a healthy college experience.
Don't Believe the Lies...You Matter
It is not uncommon for a person’s circumstances or their self-image to cause someone to think negatively about themselves.
Oftentimes, people consider suicide because they are unable to find any reason to make living worthwhile. They think their problems are unsolvable and they feel completely out of control. I believe first and foremost; hopelessness is a serious spiritual problem rooted in lies and faulty thinking. Anytime you believe lies that depression and suicidal thoughts tell you about yourself, you are listening to the wrong voices.
Jennifer said suicide has been a daily struggle for the past nine years due to being sexually abused. "I feel like suicide is the only option I have left, the only chance at peace I'll ever have. I just want the pain to stop. It's as if something will always be missing and life will never be quite right." There is no denying that the pain of sexual abuse can be tremendous. But the abuse is not Jennifer’s fault. She needs to find the hope that she can overcome this pain. Many people just like Jennifer have overcome abuse by talking about it with a professional counselor. She needs to learn how to stop punishing herself for her abuser’s actions.
Reach Out to Talk About the Pain...Never Give Up
Have you ever gone through something so painful you were convinced the pain was never going to go away? Many people who contemplate suicide say something like: I don't want to die. I just want the pain to stop. They think, "Because I’m in intense pain today, I will always be in pain." It is this kind of faulty thinking that can lead people down the path that leads to suicide.
Kas wrote: I think about suicide pretty much every second of the day. It seems like it's my only choice anymore. I know it's not the answer, but at times I just feel like I can't move on with this life anymore.
Substance Abuse Magnifies Suicidal Thoughts and Behaviors
If you are already living with suicidal ideation, it is important to remember that substance abuse only works to magnify these thoughts and behaviors. Alcohol makes depression worse, impairs thinking and judgment, and increases impulsivity. There is no safety without sobriety. Additionally, coping skills like alcohol, drugs, and self-harm, all fail – because they never address the actual root of the pain. They only serve to temporarily cover it up.
Jordyn wrote: Some people have suicidal thoughts because they want to escape the isolation, pain, and rejection from the environment surrounding them. Others simply feel they have reached a state of loneliness and depression in their lives to the point where their thoughts become so negative, that they can't find any other reason to live. They would rather not confront it because of the fear of hurt that comes along with it. I feel that when you go through times of depression and think about suicide, God is there by your side. He will not abandon you. It is only a matter of whether you reach out to Him through prayer that you will be free from these thoughts.
Mandy also wrote: "Part of the very reason people do what they do is because they have failed. Suicide is the result of irrational thinking in the illness of DEPRESSION. And when people reach that level, just as my father did on the 18th of January 2020, it was a reminder that even the strong fall... "
Depression is a real illness and needs real meaningful help. If you're thinking, "I just want the pain to stop", let us help you. To learn more about depression, please read this guest blog from our partner, Centerstone.
I am 59 years old, I have been married for almost 40 years. I have wonderful children. My marriage have been and it is a joke. I do not know why I stayed in this relationships. My husband is a manipulative and dominant person. He is nice to everyone except to me. All these years I have been a good wife, always trying to have a good life together, worked, cooked, but in the end lost myself. My children left, and the reality set in. Yesterday my husband and I went to dinner with some friends, he bully me every time he could. It is a sad situation. My husban became a very unhappy person after his sexual disfunction, trying to blame me for his inability. I could move on with my life, but I do not see anything good anywhere. I can not live this way anymore. I am feel terrible having this thoughts. I would hate to hurt my children.
Lilly, It's important that you talk to someone about how you feel. You do not deserve to be treated the way you've been treated in your marriage. Now is the time to take care of yourself and live the life you want to live. Happy and free of the oppression you have experienced. Please do not give up the fight. Keep fighting for you and for your children that love their mother. Never forget that you are valuable and worthy! It's good you are reaching out to talk about this. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.
I can not talk about my life because if I do I feel naked and weak and that is all. Life was tough and I am tougher t have survived more that I could have imagined is possible or perhaps some people are not strong enough to change their circumstances.
I do not need help I needed some peace and a loving family. Peace and Family and a place to call home.
The story is too long to painstakingly remember and recall. It is not that difficult to believe that life after death could be much better than the present. Having survived quiet the unthinkable civil wars, invasions, family feuds, early sexual molestation from a member member who passed away and I have not talked about the incident until recently in my mid thirties. I am alive angry and tired of fighting. You need to be heartless and strong willed to be able to live the life you have chosen. Believe me I have done that but regretfully, I came back home because I felt alone and in need of a loving family. Relationships did not last long, and I was unable to relate to others easily. I have inner anger and frustrations. I literally do not wish to live into old age and see myself grow older and frail. I do not wish to be alive when my parents finally pass away and have to attend their funerals. I do not wish to say good bye which i have done so many times. I have traveled extensively as a child right into adulthood. And I am tired of relocating to another land to another culture. I see the world edging into a state of madness where no one is as good as they were at birth.
I have no trust in people from so many back stabbing. And I am becoming more selfish less resilient and more hateful and some how i fell into a state of racism. I have finally reached the breaking point where I am either going to be a criminal mind or leave in peace into oblivion. I do care how people who knew me will remember me. I know it is strange to think about how I will be remembered long after my departure when I simply do not wish to remember the dead because I am a believer in the present time and a brighter future. I am tired of writing or painting or thinking that I have a better purpose in life. I do not wish to have a memory not really because I will be dead and with no consciousness. I think death is the ultimate peace. But I worry about the possible pain and suffering if I did not transition and some how survive the ordeal of trying to end life.
I am confused as to what I want or do not want but all I can think of is it is over I am closer to finally let go and have peace of mind knowing those people whom I leave behind my suffer momentarily but in the end they will learn to overcome their pain and maybe do something good with their lives. I honestly do not care but I can not live with my family any longer not possible because I do not want to continue, this cycle of trying to get better and not succeeding, I hate sympathies and compassionate words when I know deep down everyone in this life is onto their own self interests.
I am tired that the world it seems is fighting me trying to strip me of my humanity. I do not wish to go insane. Nor do I wish to view myself as a weak person. I am tired and this world will never stop revolving and people will not stop living and dying and waging wars and spending time remembering the past. The future is not going to be some where I can live in peace with. I have lost myself many times and have tried to reclaim parts of my identity. I am tired as simple as that. Perhaps I have surrendered instead of fighting to the very end. When will the end be a reality? I wonder if that is all going to be understood. yes right good luck.
We understand how hard it's been for you. Please never give up fighting. You are valuable, worthy and this world needs you to stay here. It's good you are reaching out to talk about this. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.
So I am 55 years old, I had absolutely nothing to show for my life. I have no hope of grandchildren. My parents sister and family disowned me. I have nothing, literally nothing. Everything I own could fit in a dryer. Why not just be done? The people in my life would be better off if I was not here. These are the facts. No hope, no skills, nothing to offer whatsoever. Why stay alive?
You are valuable and worthy! It's good you are reaching out to talk about this. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.
No mam don't give up.. I'm 41.. ve suffered from clinical depression for almost 23 years... Things will be ok.. have faith mam
I can relate,horrible family,never had a good relationship,or friendship,distinction is all I know,people don't understand that just saying your important makes you feel better,some depression is from situations that make you have hopelessness.
I want to commit suicide how should I do it, if I'm at home.
You are valuable and worthy! It's good you are reaching out to talk about this. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.
I broke up with my ex-boyfriend 1.5 years ago. He was in deep depression after that. He attempted to commit suicide several times but his family has always been with him, so they prevented it.
I moved on and have another relationship.
After few months, my ex was back and begged me to talk to him. I knew that he didn't believe that I have boyfriend (he lived in Malaysia and I am in Belgium). I knew that he wanted me back. I rejected him again.
With all drama for 1.5 years, I am so tired, but I knew that it is nobody's fault. His family did all that they can do to help him but they failed. I ,myself, feel so stressed if I am talking to him because his irrationality drives me crazy.
I now believe that he is apparently feeling hopeless, helpless. I now fear that he would commit suicide after my rejection today. Can you advise what I should do or suggest his family to do?
Ruby, We are sorry you are going through this and commend you for your heart to help your ex and his family. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline has a good resource page for helping others that are contemplating Suicide. Perhaps this will help his family: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/help-someone-else/ You are right, his suicidal thoughts are not your fault nor are they his families fault. Another helpful resource is SAMHSA: https://www.samhsa.gov/