The very idea that someone wants to die is frightening. As a result, suicide is not an easy topic to discuss for many people. But suicide is preventable and talking about suicide does save lives. If one person can be saved from suicide by talking about it with someone, it is worth it; especially if that someone is you.
How to Handle Suicidal Thinking
Talking About Suicide Save Lives
I am amazed at the many powerful and wise comments I have received from you about suicide. I asked you to tell me why you think people contemplate suicide and you had some amazing insights. It is clear that it is usually not just one thing that compels someone to feel suicidal. You said it is a combination of a lot of things, including:
- pain
- loneliness
- rejection
- abuse
- guilt
- depression
- helplessness
- hopelessness
More than anything, I believe people who live with depression and suicidal thoughts feel hopeless. They are hurting so badly and want nothing more than for the pain to end. Unfortunately, they cannot imagine the pain ever going away. They cannot see the light at the end of the very dark and lonely tunnel they have found themselves traveling down. Have you ever felt this way?
Why Is Suicide So Common Among College Students?
For most students, college is a time of “firsts.” For the first time, you’re faced with living outside your parents’ home, managing your own schedule, deciding on an academic trajectory, working or taking out loans to pay for school, making new friends, getting to know a new environment, etc. Trying a new thing is always going to be a bit stressful, even if you’re excited about it. Trying a million new things all at once? Very stressful.
Without support, self-care, and a certain level of familiarity with mental health, times of transition and stress are very likely to impact us emotionally. College is a time when loneliness, hopelessness, depression, and anxiety have a lot of opportunities to take hold of you. On top of that, the typical age range of a college student (18-24) is a time when many mental illnesses manifest in patients. Whether you’re in college or not, these years are when your brain may develop symptoms of anxiety, depression, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, etc.
Between the stage of brain development that most college students are in, and the stress level they’re experiencing in a time of high expectations and constant change, it’s no surprise that suicide rates are especially high within this particular population.
So what can you do about it? If you or someone you know is headed to college, get on the school’s official website and explore what kinds of resources they offer for mental health. Most campuses have health centers to support their students’ needs, and many of those now offer services like counseling or support groups that are free for students. Get familiar with that resource so that if you need it, you can use it! And even though college is a busy time, make sure that caring for yourself is a top priority. Adequate sleep, nutritious food, exercise, other types of rest, and social support are all crucial elements of a healthy college experience.
Don't Believe the Lies...You Matter
It is not uncommon for a person’s circumstances or their self-image to cause someone to think negatively about themselves.
Oftentimes, people consider suicide because they are unable to find any reason to make living worthwhile. They think their problems are unsolvable and they feel completely out of control. I believe first and foremost; hopelessness is a serious spiritual problem rooted in lies and faulty thinking. Anytime you believe lies that depression and suicidal thoughts tell you about yourself, you are listening to the wrong voices.
Jennifer said suicide has been a daily struggle for the past nine years due to being sexually abused. "I feel like suicide is the only option I have left, the only chance at peace I'll ever have. I just want the pain to stop. It's as if something will always be missing and life will never be quite right." There is no denying that the pain of sexual abuse can be tremendous. But the abuse is not Jennifer’s fault. She needs to find the hope that she can overcome this pain. Many people just like Jennifer have overcome abuse by talking about it with a professional counselor. She needs to learn how to stop punishing herself for her abuser’s actions.
Reach Out to Talk About the Pain...Never Give Up
Have you ever gone through something so painful you were convinced the pain was never going to go away? Many people who contemplate suicide say something like: I don't want to die. I just want the pain to stop. They think, "Because I’m in intense pain today, I will always be in pain." It is this kind of faulty thinking that can lead people down the path that leads to suicide.
Kas wrote: I think about suicide pretty much every second of the day. It seems like it's my only choice anymore. I know it's not the answer, but at times I just feel like I can't move on with this life anymore.
Substance Abuse Magnifies Suicidal Thoughts and Behaviors
If you are already living with suicidal ideation, it is important to remember that substance abuse only works to magnify these thoughts and behaviors. Alcohol makes depression worse, impairs thinking and judgment, and increases impulsivity. There is no safety without sobriety. Additionally, coping skills like alcohol, drugs, and self-harm, all fail – because they never address the actual root of the pain. They only serve to temporarily cover it up.
Jordyn wrote: Some people have suicidal thoughts because they want to escape the isolation, pain, and rejection from the environment surrounding them. Others simply feel they have reached a state of loneliness and depression in their lives to the point where their thoughts become so negative, that they can't find any other reason to live. They would rather not confront it because of the fear of hurt that comes along with it. I feel that when you go through times of depression and think about suicide, God is there by your side. He will not abandon you. It is only a matter of whether you reach out to Him through prayer that you will be free from these thoughts.
Mandy also wrote: "Part of the very reason people do what they do is because they have failed. Suicide is the result of irrational thinking in the illness of DEPRESSION. And when people reach that level, just as my father did on the 18th of January 2020, it was a reminder that even the strong fall... "
Depression is a real illness and needs real meaningful help. If you're thinking, "I just want the pain to stop", let us help you. To learn more about depression, please read this guest blog from our partner, Centerstone.
Hi, I’m not the who is depressed. It is my baby brother who is depressed. I don’t know how to help him and as far as i know there’s not much I can do but to try to be there for him. The only thing with that is he won’t let me help. I don’t want him to feel like he’s a burden. I don’t know how hurt he is. I don’t want to make him feel as if i’m suffocating him. I want to understand him. It ls hard when he doesn’t know how to express it to me not says “i can’t explain it” and I’m trying really hard to see if the cause of his depression is from his childhood years. I feel like it’s the only explanation. My parent split up when we were young and he had always wanted a family. We have 5 brothers who was never there for him when he needed them and he had his first heartbreak with his first love and that broke his heart. What do I do to help him? How do i help him? Can I have my brothers help make his depression better since they are a part of his pain?
I care about him. As a matter of fact there’s a lot of people who loves him. It saddens me that this is happening to my brother and i refuse to let his depression get to him but am i too late? He’s a very nice, kind, sweat guy. I really want to understand his reason of depression. I really want to help him.
Why are all of these posts unspoken words inside m own head? They just solidify the very opposite of what Hope means.
Lena, I am sorry I read your post so late. I am hoping you did not find it in you to end your life. We all go through trying times but I promise it happens as a way of making us grow into better people. Your life soundds like it has been terrible up to this point, but believe me, you do have the power to make changes in it for the better. Please know that you will be missed by those who do love you. You have the strength in you to reach for the stars. God Bless.
I also have a severe depression and anxiety. My mother was very abusive to me and used to punch and yell at me the only few times she would help me with my homework. She would also go out until midnight to drink and party and my sad suffered. She pushed me to to with her to Aruba where a friend of hers almost burn my passport and broke my laptop. After her friend broke my laptop we went on a shopping spree with my credit cars to buy the things she deserve and I "did" because that is why I was working. I have so much bed and she made me feel like being gay was just a future of hairdressing and aids. I get panic when I shake people's hands and I showered in band sanitizer right afterwards. She never had a life for herself and her daily conversations were meaningless and pity. She never did or will do anything so she needs a man to give her money and she brainwashed me that when I worked a real job I had to give her minimum 500 dollars a month. I feel so weak and powerless. I have 4 classes to finish and I feel so weak somedays I don't even go to get the mail. I have constant anger towards her and the part that hurts the most is that all of my family sees me as a bad person for not talking to her in the past two years. I feel like ending this misery. She also made some very innapropiate comments about my genitals. I just can't move pass this and everything just seems to be ending.
Hope has become dirty word. It really doesn't matter about the quality just that your breathing
How does that make sense. In the end we choose our problems
I did try to be a good mother. If that matters at all.
"I did try to be a good mother, if that matters at all" has me bawling so hard right now because I know that pain. I know what that means. I am there with you. Maybe under different circumstances but I know what place that sentence comes from. I am just so sorry. I really tried too.
I tried too. I failed. I kept trying and trying and just falling further and further. I accept that everyone loses. I don’t want to hurt anyone but it’s not fair I keep losing in life more and more each day. I’m stupid. I’m crazy. Iat least that’s what he says. I can’t even believe my own eyes anymore. Why would I live like this or put others through my living misery.