The very idea that someone wants to die is frightening. As a result, suicide is not an easy topic to discuss for many people. But suicide is preventable and talking about suicide does save lives. If one person can be saved from suicide by talking about it with someone, it is worth it; especially if that someone is you.
How to Handle Suicidal Thinking
Talking About Suicide Save Lives
I am amazed at the many powerful and wise comments I have received from you about suicide. I asked you to tell me why you think people contemplate suicide and you had some amazing insights. It is clear that it is usually not just one thing that compels someone to feel suicidal. You said it is a combination of a lot of things, including:
- pain
- loneliness
- rejection
- abuse
- guilt
- depression
- helplessness
- hopelessness
More than anything, I believe people who live with depression and suicidal thoughts feel hopeless. They are hurting so badly and want nothing more than for the pain to end. Unfortunately, they cannot imagine the pain ever going away. They cannot see the light at the end of the very dark and lonely tunnel they have found themselves traveling down. Have you ever felt this way?
Why Is Suicide So Common Among College Students?
For most students, college is a time of “firsts.” For the first time, you’re faced with living outside your parents’ home, managing your own schedule, deciding on an academic trajectory, working or taking out loans to pay for school, making new friends, getting to know a new environment, etc. Trying a new thing is always going to be a bit stressful, even if you’re excited about it. Trying a million new things all at once? Very stressful.
Without support, self-care, and a certain level of familiarity with mental health, times of transition and stress are very likely to impact us emotionally. College is a time when loneliness, hopelessness, depression, and anxiety have a lot of opportunities to take hold of you. On top of that, the typical age range of a college student (18-24) is a time when many mental illnesses manifest in patients. Whether you’re in college or not, these years are when your brain may develop symptoms of anxiety, depression, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, etc.
Between the stage of brain development that most college students are in, and the stress level they’re experiencing in a time of high expectations and constant change, it’s no surprise that suicide rates are especially high within this particular population.
So what can you do about it? If you or someone you know is headed to college, get on the school’s official website and explore what kinds of resources they offer for mental health. Most campuses have health centers to support their students’ needs, and many of those now offer services like counseling or support groups that are free for students. Get familiar with that resource so that if you need it, you can use it! And even though college is a busy time, make sure that caring for yourself is a top priority. Adequate sleep, nutritious food, exercise, other types of rest, and social support are all crucial elements of a healthy college experience.
Don't Believe the Lies...You Matter
It is not uncommon for a person’s circumstances or their self-image to cause someone to think negatively about themselves.
Oftentimes, people consider suicide because they are unable to find any reason to make living worthwhile. They think their problems are unsolvable and they feel completely out of control. I believe first and foremost; hopelessness is a serious spiritual problem rooted in lies and faulty thinking. Anytime you believe lies that depression and suicidal thoughts tell you about yourself, you are listening to the wrong voices.
Jennifer said suicide has been a daily struggle for the past nine years due to being sexually abused. "I feel like suicide is the only option I have left, the only chance at peace I'll ever have. I just want the pain to stop. It's as if something will always be missing and life will never be quite right." There is no denying that the pain of sexual abuse can be tremendous. But the abuse is not Jennifer’s fault. She needs to find the hope that she can overcome this pain. Many people just like Jennifer have overcome abuse by talking about it with a professional counselor. She needs to learn how to stop punishing herself for her abuser’s actions.
Reach Out to Talk About the Pain...Never Give Up
Have you ever gone through something so painful you were convinced the pain was never going to go away? Many people who contemplate suicide say something like: I don't want to die. I just want the pain to stop. They think, "Because I’m in intense pain today, I will always be in pain." It is this kind of faulty thinking that can lead people down the path that leads to suicide.
Kas wrote: I think about suicide pretty much every second of the day. It seems like it's my only choice anymore. I know it's not the answer, but at times I just feel like I can't move on with this life anymore.
Substance Abuse Magnifies Suicidal Thoughts and Behaviors
If you are already living with suicidal ideation, it is important to remember that substance abuse only works to magnify these thoughts and behaviors. Alcohol makes depression worse, impairs thinking and judgment, and increases impulsivity. There is no safety without sobriety. Additionally, coping skills like alcohol, drugs, and self-harm, all fail – because they never address the actual root of the pain. They only serve to temporarily cover it up.
Jordyn wrote: Some people have suicidal thoughts because they want to escape the isolation, pain, and rejection from the environment surrounding them. Others simply feel they have reached a state of loneliness and depression in their lives to the point where their thoughts become so negative, that they can't find any other reason to live. They would rather not confront it because of the fear of hurt that comes along with it. I feel that when you go through times of depression and think about suicide, God is there by your side. He will not abandon you. It is only a matter of whether you reach out to Him through prayer that you will be free from these thoughts.
Mandy also wrote: "Part of the very reason people do what they do is because they have failed. Suicide is the result of irrational thinking in the illness of DEPRESSION. And when people reach that level, just as my father did on the 18th of January 2020, it was a reminder that even the strong fall... "
Depression is a real illness and needs real meaningful help. If you're thinking, "I just want the pain to stop", let us help you. To learn more about depression, please read this guest blog from our partner, Centerstone.
Please don't ever give up on life. It's so precious and you have your entire life to live. My mom attempted to take her life 12/25/14 late evening. She put the gun to her head told my step dad deal with this and pulled the trigger. My mom was 4 times the legal limit when the life flight helicopter got her to Savannah Ga which was 6 hours after the actual gun was fired. She pulled through the surgery to stop the bleeding in her brain and is making a recovery however the bullet severed her optic nerve. She most likely will be blind (Only god can say that forsure) medical professionals told us she would be blind. She also has bilateral brain damage which affects behavior, impulse and motoring. Please don't ever think it could end quickly. And please remember god loves you!! Find a church or support group to help you!!
Sunshine,
How is your dear mother doing now? Please God help sunshine's mother.
I'm sorry for what your mother did, but for some people it simply is the only good way out. It's like telling a homeless mans in chain that one day if he tries he'll get food to eat, and the only thing that's left is reality is more and more hunger 'till he can't live anymore.
I don't feel depressed. I feel lonely. My partner of 5 years cheated on me 3 months ago. I think that we all have one real love in our lives, and she was it. I was selfish when we were together. I was the one who wanted to move away and study. She was miserable when she came with me. I was so busy with uni that I didn't put her first. I imagined my future with her. I imagined the house we would have together and the children we would have. I loved her unconditionally, but I didn't show it enough. I left my home behind and all of my belongings to stay with my mum for a while. I went out with a friend who's a party animal and ended up having a one night stand with a friend of hers. Today I've woken up with a virus and I'm pretty sure they gave me hsv2. Who will want to be with me after that?! I was already feeling hopeless and this has tipped me over the edge. I'm going to do it, I'm going to leave this all behind. I think dying will be like slipping into a dark room of nothingness. I want that. I need that. I love my family, but we all die someday. I don't feel scared. I know where to go from here.
I was thinking of killing my self so I wouldn't need to see my family die first because my mom always says she wants to die first but I do because I want to protect my family
My Uncle committed suicide due to depression. He was such a big part of my life and had children aged 3 and 9. I am aged 15 and I miss him so much. No matter how many people say it'll get better, it is still a tricky subject to bring up so I end up ignoring it. I always wonder why he committed suicide. This page has helped me a lot. Thanks.
It's not true that those who commit sucide are always the victims. My mother committed suicide when I was 16 but she was nobody's victim. She was the monster. She abused me and nobody ever cared. I thank God every day for her death. My childhood and adolescence were hell on earth.