The very idea that someone wants to die is frightening. As a result, suicide is not an easy topic to discuss for many people. But suicide is preventable and talking about suicide does save lives. If one person can be saved from suicide by talking about it with someone, it is worth it; especially if that someone is you.
How to Handle Suicidal Thinking
Talking About Suicide Save Lives
I am amazed at the many powerful and wise comments I have received from you about suicide. I asked you to tell me why you think people contemplate suicide and you had some amazing insights. It is clear that it is usually not just one thing that compels someone to feel suicidal. You said it is a combination of a lot of things, including:
- pain
- loneliness
- rejection
- abuse
- guilt
- depression
- helplessness
- hopelessness
More than anything, I believe people who live with depression and suicidal thoughts feel hopeless. They are hurting so badly and want nothing more than for the pain to end. Unfortunately, they cannot imagine the pain ever going away. They cannot see the light at the end of the very dark and lonely tunnel they have found themselves traveling down. Have you ever felt this way?
Why Is Suicide So Common Among College Students?
For most students, college is a time of “firsts.” For the first time, you’re faced with living outside your parents’ home, managing your own schedule, deciding on an academic trajectory, working or taking out loans to pay for school, making new friends, getting to know a new environment, etc. Trying a new thing is always going to be a bit stressful, even if you’re excited about it. Trying a million new things all at once? Very stressful.
Without support, self-care, and a certain level of familiarity with mental health, times of transition and stress are very likely to impact us emotionally. College is a time when loneliness, hopelessness, depression, and anxiety have a lot of opportunities to take hold of you. On top of that, the typical age range of a college student (18-24) is a time when many mental illnesses manifest in patients. Whether you’re in college or not, these years are when your brain may develop symptoms of anxiety, depression, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, etc.
Between the stage of brain development that most college students are in, and the stress level they’re experiencing in a time of high expectations and constant change, it’s no surprise that suicide rates are especially high within this particular population.
So what can you do about it? If you or someone you know is headed to college, get on the school’s official website and explore what kinds of resources they offer for mental health. Most campuses have health centers to support their students’ needs, and many of those now offer services like counseling or support groups that are free for students. Get familiar with that resource so that if you need it, you can use it! And even though college is a busy time, make sure that caring for yourself is a top priority. Adequate sleep, nutritious food, exercise, other types of rest, and social support are all crucial elements of a healthy college experience.
Don't Believe the Lies...You Matter
It is not uncommon for a person’s circumstances or their self-image to cause someone to think negatively about themselves.
Oftentimes, people consider suicide because they are unable to find any reason to make living worthwhile. They think their problems are unsolvable and they feel completely out of control. I believe first and foremost; hopelessness is a serious spiritual problem rooted in lies and faulty thinking. Anytime you believe lies that depression and suicidal thoughts tell you about yourself, you are listening to the wrong voices.
Jennifer said suicide has been a daily struggle for the past nine years due to being sexually abused. "I feel like suicide is the only option I have left, the only chance at peace I'll ever have. I just want the pain to stop. It's as if something will always be missing and life will never be quite right." There is no denying that the pain of sexual abuse can be tremendous. But the abuse is not Jennifer’s fault. She needs to find the hope that she can overcome this pain. Many people just like Jennifer have overcome abuse by talking about it with a professional counselor. She needs to learn how to stop punishing herself for her abuser’s actions.
Reach Out to Talk About the Pain...Never Give Up
Have you ever gone through something so painful you were convinced the pain was never going to go away? Many people who contemplate suicide say something like: I don't want to die. I just want the pain to stop. They think, "Because I’m in intense pain today, I will always be in pain." It is this kind of faulty thinking that can lead people down the path that leads to suicide.
Kas wrote: I think about suicide pretty much every second of the day. It seems like it's my only choice anymore. I know it's not the answer, but at times I just feel like I can't move on with this life anymore.
Substance Abuse Magnifies Suicidal Thoughts and Behaviors
If you are already living with suicidal ideation, it is important to remember that substance abuse only works to magnify these thoughts and behaviors. Alcohol makes depression worse, impairs thinking and judgment, and increases impulsivity. There is no safety without sobriety. Additionally, coping skills like alcohol, drugs, and self-harm, all fail – because they never address the actual root of the pain. They only serve to temporarily cover it up.
Jordyn wrote: Some people have suicidal thoughts because they want to escape the isolation, pain, and rejection from the environment surrounding them. Others simply feel they have reached a state of loneliness and depression in their lives to the point where their thoughts become so negative, that they can't find any other reason to live. They would rather not confront it because of the fear of hurt that comes along with it. I feel that when you go through times of depression and think about suicide, God is there by your side. He will not abandon you. It is only a matter of whether you reach out to Him through prayer that you will be free from these thoughts.
Mandy also wrote: "Part of the very reason people do what they do is because they have failed. Suicide is the result of irrational thinking in the illness of DEPRESSION. And when people reach that level, just as my father did on the 18th of January 2020, it was a reminder that even the strong fall... "
Depression is a real illness and needs real meaningful help. If you're thinking, "I just want the pain to stop", let us help you. To learn more about depression, please read this guest blog from our partner, Centerstone.
I want to die because I could not even have a proper state to the police about the rape that happened to me and the domestic abuse my ex partner put on me. I took the wrong person to the station with me. I was thinking through out the interview what she was thinking rather then making sure I was saying the correct thing. I ended up saying about the first time he did some thing to me like that was " we were both drunk I consented when that wasn't true, then I tried to explain that it was rape because he coerced me into consenting, they didn't believe me because I had already said different. I messed it up big time and now he's got away with his crimes and they are on my record in stead. I wish my disorders and emotional way of thinking didn't cloud my logic at the time of reporting.
Please call TheHopeLine. We are here for you. We're listening.
Just before going to bed I've google why do people kill themselves. Then I came to this site. The reason why i researched this was because i too am feeling the urge to just let go. Ive read the topic and it had me thinking for like a second...still i just want to go. I've had the thoughts of suicide since i was 7 or 8. Now i am 27 and i think about it more often that ever. I was raped, had a gun poited to my face in 2009. In 2014 i had a job where i thought i made my breaking point and that blew up in my face. Long story short i got a charge with first class misdemeanor (assult and battery) but that will be dismissed once i go back to court because i finished everything of what the court ordered me to do. My loving situation is living at home with my mom, step father and sister who leaving for college soon. It's pure hell living here. My mom looks at me like i am a failure, my step father is nothing but a cheater, lier, play mind games and my mom doesn't do anything about it. I know i am old enough to be on my own but working at a daycare and going to school to get my second degree is not going to be beneficial for me. I feel alone and tried to talk and express my feelings but it's like nobody is listening to my cry. So if i check out i wonder who is going to miss me? I know my father will...I'm his only child (baby girl). Mentally and physically i am in so much pain. I am alone, depressed, angry, failure in life and a mistake loke i dont belong here. The first time im putting myself out here....so yes i am crying for HELP!!!
I lost my brother to suicide two weeks ago. I can not explain the pain it has caused my family. He was only 43. So many people loved him and cared for him. He was such a great guy, father, brother and son. He had so much going for him. He was successful, smart, and always put others before himself. I wish there was something I could have done to save him. I can't stop thinking about our last conversation, the phone call I got that he hung himself. He left no note and two children behind. His boys are devastated. He loved those boys more than anything in the world! To anyone who is thinking about committing suicide, please go seek help as soon as possible. Tell someone, anyone how you feel!!!! People will drop everything for you to save you because they love you and no one wants to see you go. If I would have known how he felt I would have dropped everything to fly to Arizona and save him, everyone in my family would have done this! Even his coworkers and friends would have done anything to help him, all he had to do was ask! Please ask!!! Depression and anxiety can be treated, you are not alone! I hope I can save someone by this post, because I care about you!
Unfortunately there is nothing you could have done. I have 3 suicides in my close family 2 uncles and 1 cousin (a daughter of one of the uncles). The first uncle used a gun and was swift about it. The other attempted 2 other occasions until he finally succeeded on the third try. My cousin shot herself and it was also swift.
The only thing they all had in common was they left no reason and no one could tell. The signs have to be noticed which are so subtle they are unnoticeable unless you know what to look for. All of them made visits to family members before the day they did it thats a pretty big sign and also they tell people they either care about them or love them.
Honestly after all is said and done I have concluded nothing could have been done. Just like people who are determined to live their dream the same mindset is present in suicidal people. They are determined beyond a shadow of a doubt that they will kill themselves. No amount of talking them out of it will work. They will act like they are fine just to get you to leave them alone and to make you think they have overcome the thoughts but the truth is they didn't.
Determination to survive is very strong in a normal human being. Now take that same determination and apply it to a person who is suicidal. That how they feel. Their determination doesn't lay in surviving but more in dying. Basically once a person makes their mind up it is almost next to impossible to ever change it.
There is really nothing anyone can say or do to sway that decision. The people that shrinks and social workers like to think they save are people who were never set on killing themselves. Those people are narcissists and try to gain sympathy from others by making a grand declaration they want to die. Truth is no one who will actually commit suicide will ever let you know they will do it. Anyone who feels they have permanently stopped a person from suicide is delusional themselves because if they are truly suicidal they have only temporarily stopped it and it will happen just not on that day they stopped them.
Trying to over analyze why will drive you crazy. It is an irrational thought and action and most of the world is rational so it no one ever understands why they did it. The only person who does is another suicidal person.
i hate myself more than anything. i have had anorexia for the past year now. however this is not where my depression started. i was raped at the age of 13. this had send me into a state in which i had no idea on how to escape and the only way i could be sane is to just end all the pain i itself. i have also been beaten by my uncle many many times. i have bruises all over my waist region which do fade however the memories stay. i have also been bullied for the way i dress and the music i listen to. i am so called "emo" however i do not believe in tagging people into categories. my family is always very hard me and they always tell me im selfish and lazy. i have self harmed ever since the age of five. i would scratch at my legs in order to feel some sort of relief. this son turned into cutting myself with knifes and razors and blades. i now have even gotten to the point to which i burn myself with the back of a cigarette. i have tried to commit suicide many many times however i was never successful. i feel lonely and depressed all the time. its like i have forgotten what happiness feels like. i dont know what to do anymore.