Why Do People End Their Life by Suicide?

The very idea that someone wants to die is frightening. As a result, suicide is not an easy topic to discuss for many people. But suicide is preventable and talking about suicide does save lives. If one person can be saved from suicide by talking about it with someone, it is worth it; especially if that someone is you.

How to Handle Suicidal Thinking

Talking About Suicide Save Lives

I am amazed at the many powerful and wise comments I have received from you about suicide. I asked you to tell me why you think people contemplate suicide and you had some amazing insights. It is clear that it is usually not just one thing that compels someone to feel suicidal. You said it is a combination of a lot of things, including:

  • pain
  • loneliness
  • rejection
  • abuse
  • guilt
  • depression
  • helplessness
  • hopelessness

More than anything, I believe people who live with depression and suicidal thoughts feel hopeless. They are hurting so badly and want nothing more than for the pain to end. Unfortunately, they cannot imagine the pain ever going away. They cannot see the light at the end of the very dark and lonely tunnel they have found themselves traveling down. Have you ever felt this way?

Why Is Suicide So Common Among College Students?

For most students, college is a time of “firsts.” For the first time, you’re faced with living outside your parents’ home, managing your own schedule, deciding on an academic trajectory, working or taking out loans to pay for school, making new friends, getting to know a new environment, etc. Trying a new thing is always going to be a bit stressful, even if you’re excited about it. Trying a million new things all at once? Very stressful.

Without support, self-care, and a certain level of familiarity with mental health, times of transition and stress are very likely to impact us emotionally. College is a time when loneliness, hopelessness, depression, and anxiety have a lot of opportunities to take hold of you. On top of that, the typical age range of a college student (18-24) is a time when many mental illnesses manifest in patients. Whether you’re in college or not, these years are when your brain may develop symptoms of anxiety, depression, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, etc.

Between the stage of brain development that most college students are in, and the stress level they’re experiencing in a time of high expectations and constant change, it’s no surprise that suicide rates are especially high within this particular population.

So what can you do about it? If you or someone you know is headed to college, get on the school’s official website and explore what kinds of resources they offer for mental health. Most campuses have health centers to support their students’ needs, and many of those now offer services like counseling or support groups that are free for students. Get familiar with that resource so that if you need it, you can use it! And even though college is a busy time, make sure that caring for yourself is a top priority. Adequate sleep, nutritious food, exercise, other types of rest, and social support are all crucial elements of a healthy college experience.

Don't Believe the Lies...You Matter

It is not uncommon for a person’s circumstances or their self-image to cause someone to think negatively about themselves.

Oftentimes, people consider suicide because they are unable to find any reason to make living worthwhile. They think their problems are unsolvable and they feel completely out of control. I believe first and foremost; hopelessness is a serious spiritual problem rooted in lies and faulty thinking. Anytime you believe lies that depression and suicidal thoughts tell you about yourself, you are listening to the wrong voices.

Jennifer said suicide has been a daily struggle for the past nine years due to being sexually abused. "I feel like suicide is the only option I have left, the only chance at peace I'll ever have. I just want the pain to stop. It's as if something will always be missing and life will never be quite right." There is no denying that the pain of sexual abuse can be tremendous. But the abuse is not Jennifer’s fault. She needs to find the hope that she can overcome this pain. Many people just like Jennifer have overcome abuse by talking about it with a professional counselor. She needs to learn how to stop punishing herself for her abuser’s actions.

Reach Out to Talk About the Pain...Never Give Up

Have you ever gone through something so painful you were convinced the pain was never going to go away? Many people who contemplate suicide say something like: I don't want to die. I just want the pain to stop. They think, "Because I’m in intense pain today, I will always be in pain." It is this kind of faulty thinking that can lead people down the path that leads to suicide.

Kas wrote: I think about suicide pretty much every second of the day. It seems like it's my only choice anymore. I know it's not the answer, but at times I just feel like I can't move on with this life anymore.

Substance Abuse Magnifies Suicidal Thoughts and Behaviors

If you are already living with suicidal ideation, it is important to remember that substance abuse only works to magnify these thoughts and behaviors. Alcohol makes depression worse, impairs thinking and judgment, and increases impulsivity. There is no safety without sobriety. Additionally, coping skills like alcohol, drugs, and self-harm, all fail – because they never address the actual root of the pain. They only serve to temporarily cover it up.

Jordyn wrote: Some people have suicidal thoughts because they want to escape the isolation, pain, and rejection from the environment surrounding them. Others simply feel they have reached a state of loneliness and depression in their lives to the point where their thoughts become so negative, that they can't find any other reason to live. They would rather not confront it because of the fear of hurt that comes along with it. I feel that when you go through times of depression and think about suicide, God is there by your side. He will not abandon you. It is only a matter of whether you reach out to Him through prayer that you will be free from these thoughts.

Mandy also wrote: "Part of the very reason people do what they do is because they have failed. Suicide is the result of irrational thinking in the illness of DEPRESSION. And when people reach that level, just as my father did on the 18th of January 2020, it was a reminder that even the strong fall... "

Depression is a real illness and needs real meaningful help. If you're thinking, "I just want the pain to stop", let us help you. To learn more about depression, please read this guest blog from our partner, Centerstone.

TheHopeLine Team
For over 30 years, TheHopeLine has been helping students and young adults in crisis. Our team is made up of writers and mental health professionals who care deeply about helping others.
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443 comments on “Why Do People End Their Life by Suicide?”

  1. Everyday feels like i am getting closer to killing myself. I hate my life and my job. I just don't know how long i can deal with this pain. I don't even feel anything when i have sex. (I am just going through the motions and waiting for my wife to finish. Then i act like i am finishing. Everyday after work i stop at the gun store. Yesterday I walk to the front door and turned around. I am getting closer and closer.

  2. They say reach out and talk... But when you finally get the courage to speak up, people ignore you. I've never felt so alone. I have no one to help or talk to. Guts me after the years I've spent by my 'friends' sides...

  3. Tess, You have had a great burden to bear. I want you to know you are amazing and the only person that has stepped up to care for your mother. That speaks volumes! Not many people have the heart, you have, and would be lucky to call you a friend. I know your burden seems like it will never end and it is robbing you of a life. You feel restricted by the financial limitations too. The important thing is to take care of yourself and to continue talking about what is going on. A great place to start is contacting our partners at Focus On The Family http://www.focusonthefamily.com
    "The Focus on the Family Help Center counselors are here to listen and pray with you, as well as provide guidance and resources to help you and your family thrive. Arrange to speak with a licensed Christian counselor at no cost by calling 1-855-771-HELP (4357) Monday through Friday between 6:00 a.m. and 8:00 p.m. Mountain time.
    855-771-4357 US (Canada 1-800-681-9806)"
    Here are some helpful articles from Focus on the Family about what you are dealing with right now.
    http://family.custhelp.com/app/answers/list/kw/caring%20for%20aging%20parents/search/1
    We are here for you and praying for you.

  4. Sienna, We want you to know you are not alone in this. Reporting a rape is very emotional and a time full of anxiety. What you are describing that happened during the interview is post-traumatic stress. It’s important that you take care of yourself and talk to someone that can help you through this. Would you be willing to call us or chat with us at TheHopeLine today? We are open 24/7 and you can talk to a HopeCoach by phone at 800.394.4673 or you can chat with one at http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp .
    Please never, ever give up on yourself. You are valuable and you are worthy. You're not alone. We're here to help you get through this!

  5. I think about suicide a lot. I am 54 years and I take care of my mother with parkinson's. I been taking care of her for four years and is getting worse. I have get her up in morning help dress, clean her commode, pills every four hours, doctor appointments and more.She constently wants attention from moving her pillows behind her to getting food and coffee . Everyone says put her in a nursing home. The thing is I do not have anywhere to go. The nursing home would get her house. I do not get paid because she does not qualify for medicaid. I get criticized by her brother and sister and my siblings because I do not take her everywhere she wants. No one in the family wants to help with respite care. Now my friend that I saw every three months or so when I have begged and pleaded for someone to stay with her; I would go down there for about 4 days. This last time I had to hire someone. Well now he does not want to see me anymore. He was my only friend. If I knew my son who is 22 would be OK I would end right now. My mom would be fine. Know one other than my son has stayed in my life more than 3 to 6 month at a time. I do not want another 30 yes of loneliness.

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